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THE CREATURE WITHIN
He stands shirtless in the drifting snow,
offering a pale pink rose in his left hand,
unmindful of the thorns that prick his flesh
causing the ruby drops to stain the white carpet.
The creature within reaches out jade-green claws
and parts the venetian blinds of his ribcage,
to peer with distinct malevolence at the world
that it viciously hates…
Pendragon
It was the procession of practically neon colours that got to me!
I enjoyed these lines:
The creature within reaches out jade-green claws
and parts the venetian blinds of his ribcage,
to peer with distinct malevolence at the world
that it viciously hates…
My creature within is all green. Hah!
Oh yes exactly! It's like a mosiac of color.Quote:
Originally Posted by PrinceMyshkin
This is quite surreal and an excellent opening:
Quote:
He stands shirtless in the drifting snow,
offering a pale pink rose in his left hand,
Thank you one and all. This was written to go with a surreal drawing I had made, which I will post if I can ever find it...
What makes this piece work is that it's actually "about something," as well as the fact that it contains images that the reader can see, hear, touch, feel. Also, it alludes to the worlds of fairy tales and myths and reminded me of "Snow White and Rose Red."
hm ... a little cryptic ... have to think about it ... makes me wonder
guess I got it (click link to see picture)
you mean this
http://images.google.com/imgres?imgu...a%3DX%26um%3D1
or perhaps rather that
http://images.google.com/imgres?imgu...a%3DX%26um%3D1
I see
stupid me .. was actually pretty obvious
Found it. Without further ado, the drawing entitled, "The Creature Within" http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l1...ureWithing.jpg