Put down's & pickup's

PUT DOWN # 1

Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
Just gaze into their eyes
And say to your pursuer
“Why don’t you slip into something
More comfortable… like a coma”

PUT DOWN # 2

Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
Just say to him seductively
With your hand upon your hip
“Wipe your mouth honey,
You have bull**** around your lips”

PUT DOWN # 3

Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
When he says to you
“Haven't I seen you some place before”?
Just say clearly to him
“Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore”

PUT DOWN # 4

Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
If he says to you “I'm a photographer
I've been looking for a face like yours.”
Just reply “I'm a plastic surgeon
I've been looking for a face like yours.”

PUT DOWN # 5

Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
If he says “Didn't we go on a date once?
Or was it twice?”
Just reply “Must've been once.
I wouldn’t make the same mistake twice”

PUT DOWN # 6

Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
If he says “I believe in equality
So you can ask ME out”
Just reply to him sweetly
“Well if you insist, Get out”.

PUT DOWN # 7

Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
If he says to you
“Can I buy you a drink, honey?”
Just reply to him
“I'd rather have the money”.

PUT DOWN # 8

Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
“Where have you been all my life?”
Is the kind of line you might get
So just reply to him
“I wasn’t born for most of it”

PUT DOWN # 9

Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
“Where have you been all my life?”
Is the kind of line he may use
So just reply to him
“I’ve been hiding from you”

PUT DOWN # 10

Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
“How did you get to be so beautiful?”
He may well declare
So just reply to him
“I must've been given your share”

PUT DOWN # 11

Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
“Will you go out with me this Saturday”?
Is an invitation he may extend
So just reply to him
“Sorry. I have a headache this weekend”

PUT DOWN # 12

Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
“Your face must turn a few heads”
May be one of his attacks
So just reply to him
“Yours must turn a few stomachs”

PUT DOWN # 13

Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
“The look of you could stop a mans heart”
May be his opening gambit
So just reply to him
“The look of you could stop traffic”

PUT DOWN # 14

Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
If he says to you
“I’ve been looking for you all my life”
Just reply to him
“I hope you told your wife”

PUT DOWN # 15

Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
If he says to you
“You’re more than a woman to me”
Just reply to him
“More than you know, my name’s Henry”

PUT DOWN # 16

Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
“I think I could make you very happy”
Is a line he might be weaving
So just reply to him
“Why? Are you leaving”?

PUT DOWN # 17

Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
When he says to you
“What would you say if I asked you to marry me”?
Just say clearly to him
“Nothing, I can't talk and laugh simultaneously”

PUT DOWN # 18

Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
When he says to you
“Can I have your name Hon”?
Just say clearly to him
“Why? Don't you already have one”?

PUT DOWN # 19

Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
When he says to you
“Shall we go and see a movie”?
Just reply to him
“I've seen it already”

PUT DOWN # 20

Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
When he says to you
“Is this seat empty Hon”?
Just reply to him
“Yes, and if you sit down so will this one”

PUT DOWN # 21

Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
When he says to you
“I bet you are a lawyer or a doctor?”
Just reply to him
“No I'm a female impersonator”

PUT DOWN # 22

Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
“Hey baby, what's your sign”?
Is a question he may tender
So just reply to him
“My sign is “do not enter””

PUT DOWN # 23

Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
“Wow your body is like a temple”
He might well say
Just reply to him
“Sorry, there are no services today”

PUT DOWN # 24

Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
“I'd die happy, If I could see you naked”
He might well begin
So just reply to him
“If I saw you naked, I'd die laughing”

PUT DOWN # 25

Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
“How would you like your eggs in the morning”?
He might say to you
So just reply to him
“Unfertilized will do”

PUT DOWN # 26

Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
If he says to you
“What’s going on in that pretty little head honey?”
Just reply to him
“I'm trying to imagine you with a personality”

PUT DOWN # 27

Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
If he should say to you
“I could do things to you that you wouldn’t believe”
Simply reply to him
“Really? If I throw a stick, will you leave?'

PUT DOWN # 28

Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
If he uses the line
“Have you heard we’ve been brought together by cupid”
So just reply to him
"I like you, you remind me of when I was young and stupid."

PUT DOWN # 29

Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
"Let's go back to my place!"
Would be a line well known
So just reply to him
"I don't think we'll both fit under that stone!"

PUT DOWN # 30

Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
When he sidles up to you with his pick up line
Before he has chance to deliver it
Just say to him
"Nice cologne, but did you have to marinate in it?"

PICKUP # 1

When you’re on the pull
If you want to break the ice
Say something funny
Or say something nice
Be devastatingly witty
Or say something clever
Be complimentary
Or just lie in your endeavour
Like “I'm ready for some FUN,
I hope you are too
I already have the F and the N,
Now all I need is U”

PICKUP # 2

When you’re on the pull
If you want to break the ice
Say something funny
Or say something nice
Be devastatingly witty
Or say something clever
Be complimentary
Or just lie in your endeavour
“Winning the Lotto jackpot”
You might start
“Is quite meaningless if you’re single
And have a weak heart!'

PICKUP # 3

When you’re on the pull
If you want to break the ice
Say something funny
Or say something nice
Be devastatingly witty
Or say something clever
Be complimentary
Or just lie in your endeavour
“Let me introduce myself”
You can say to her
“You don’t look like the kind of girl
Who’ll sleep with a stranger”