A Word - Short Story

Here is a little story I wrote up on the importance of something I feel strongly about. It is quite a small read, but imo, I love it.

And now I'm editing this and putting the story here becuase the link wasn't doing any good.
Tell me what you think!

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Lack of Rest
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“I propose,” posited Cleo, “that if you want to subdue that man, you must send upon him a surprise visit from his sister!”
“Mighty suspicious of you to know personal details of a subject’s life at such a convenient time!”, stormed the beasty MacDaniel. A spicy old scientist was the old MacDaniel. In a time like this, it was his nature to be so blisteringly suspicious of people who just couldn’t help but to know so much about his top secret projects.
“I suppose you’re going to go blab your mouth to your silly friends about all of this. Why do you find it so hard to keep your nose out of my job?” He looked at Cleo with a sickening face of distaste. “Consider yourself fired, you foolish being, you!”
Cleo was still. He got up from his lavish chair and started to speak in protest. “Good lord, Mac, whatever are you talking about? I don’t know a single thing about any of your little experiments. I’m just pulling your extremities. You are overdue for some relaxing. It might do you some good to take a break once and a while.”
Mac Daniel looked at his watch. “Oh just leave, you problem child.” He could not be bothered to argue any longer with Cleo, who was obviously no more dangerous than a bee sting. He looked at his watch again and writhed in frustration. The episode had set him back an hour. He began working mercilessly immediately.

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Grens with Envy
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It was brighter out than the day before, but still dismal. How could a man be bothered to show some form of productivity when it rains for the fifth day in a row? MacDaniel was having a fit. He had no results to show for his efforts at his latest doings. To become a great scientist mind took tireless labor in his strewn mind, and consistent results were a staple in his scientific diet.
The rain poured. MacDaniel rose from his seat and took a stroll through the historical corridor of his building. He looked enviously at the polycrylite heads of scientists who had worked before him.
“Oh, what a proper place for me to decide to walk through. These mocking heads make it no easier for me to get some proper work done!” He continued down the long stretch until he happened upon the door he was looking for, marked ‘Records’.
He opened the door slowly. Filing cabinets lined the dusty avocado green walls. He opened one up and removed a book authored by the late Grens Filtorn. Although a slightly aged book, it was not ancient like the other texts held in the Records complex. He was in the smallest section, which held books penned in the last fifty to sixty years of research.
“Grens Filtorn was a dusty fellow. A work ethic like no other, but lived stress free for one hundred and five years. I could not possibly comprehend.”
Mac Daniel put the rusting book back. He glanced around the room and eyed the large portal on the other side of the room. He was searching for an old text written about some old fantastic land that existed thousands of years ago. To him, it seemed outrageous that some primal author held the knowledge he desired. He swiped his golden card and parted the metal doors.

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Taking a Moment
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The expanse of the Records complex was outlandish. To an observer, the local view of the complex was random and sporadic. Upon distant view, however, there is uniformity to the chaos. The Recent History room, which MacDaniel had used to access the main complex, was also part of the Historical Corridor as well as the Records emporium, which was its own entity.
“Busy bodies abound here! It makes my stomach churn,” cried the scientist, as he was in the midst of the books of hundreds of thousands of the greatest scientists of all time, “and I am so smothered by my own problems in the mean time. I could not possibly comprehend how these men work so consistently and simply live!”
“Sit and have a cup of tea with me, MacDaniel.” A hulky mid aged man pulled a seat up to a table and sipped on his steaming cup of brew.
“Hanson, you really shouldn’t interrupt me while I’m on such business”, injected MacDaniel. Despite his bothered statement, he pulled up a seat as well and icily stared Hanson in the eye. “I have to find things. And things are hard to find without a consistent train of thought.”
“Save me the speeches for latter, you wound up toy. Tea is good for you and your mind”, he adjusted his position in the seat, “and you need some clarity there if I’m not mistaken.” He insistently motioned an untouched cup of tea at the old scientist.
MacDaniel was flustered and irritated. “I don’t have time to talk to you over tea. Why do you insist that I will benefit from a drink of heated leaves?” He was grabbing his hair at this point.
“Well, now, I can tell you that regardless of whether or not there is any therapeutic value contained in these leaves, you just need some warm water at this point at least.” He simply put the tea in front of MacDaniel. Knowing he had nothing to lose, really, he sipped at the cup.
“I am sincerely sorry, Hanson.” He relaxed for a moment and gathered his bearings. The beverage adjusted his psyche and neutralized his irritation. “I feel much better.”

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The Sanctuary
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MacDaniel had his own issues beside his job. In his life, he had a nagging wife-person and three malignant souls trying to imprison him for damages inflicted by his official studies. The latter did not pose any risk per say, but it was a burden none the less to have one’s name smeared falsely.
MacDaniel looked at the young woman before him. “Are you going to the unveiling tonight?”
“The unveiling of a silly machine is something I could do without, Mac,”, she put a credit paper through the depositor, “and besides, it’s a distraction from what you’re trying to get done here.”
“Oh, stop it Galia. I need rest from that. I –,”
“A rest? What does that do besides let you accomplish the same thing, but with less time available?”
“Less accuracy too.” He looked out the window at a large cloaked object making its way to the presentation hangar. “You nag, woman. I need more years to live and you’re not going to help with it” His eyes locked with hers.
“Why do you insist so?” Galia turned her seat around and sat on it backwards.
“I am old. Sooner than I should be.” His wrinkled face was a testament to that thought. “I could have done the same amount of work I have already accomplished over more years if I retained some semblance of vivacity. Instead, I have accomplished so much and burnt out my very existence.”
He finished, “But I had no sense of myself,” and added “A small analogy may explain.” He looked around at various gadgets strewn about. “A young and flexible religion can prosper with sheer will and tireless faith, but if you don’t fund the sanctuaries; essentially the place where it functions, and rather devote all energy to the directive, it cannot continue.”

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The End

For me, the story is unfinished - I want to know so much more about his work. The hints of the civilization in which he lives are well done, but nothing really jells yet. I think this is the beginning of a much larger piece, and I'd like to read it!

I applaud the idea to convey messages in writing besides the schoolbook morals of yesteryear, however, I don't really know what yours is. I only read through twice so I might of missed something, but it remains hazy. Is it that life is short and needs to be lived? I thought that I had understood until MacDaniel started to turn on himself in each section. My advice for improvement would be;
-Change the intro: I read and re-read it over and over but still didn't get what was happening.
-"Dumb Down" some of the sections: While a vast vocabulary is a nice, it tends to disrupt more than it enhances.
-Make your view more apparent early on: Since you know the outcome of this story and I naturally don't, it seems like I am missing something that has already been said.

Overall; this has possibilities to creatively re-portray a common theme that I myself believe to be true. However if I got it wrong, then I am speaking with no credibility and can't give a solid good, bad, or just plain readable. As is (assuming I am correct), on a scale from 1-10, avoiding integers, I would give it a 5.5; putting just above readable at 5, which is not bad for a RD.