Trapped.

Hey, I am new to this site and fairly new to writing. I have always expressed myself through words but I have never really organized them into anything more than a simple journal entry. I wrote what I call 'Trapped' as a response to an untimely but necessary pause to a serious relationship. Feedback of any sort, including constructive criticism is appreciated! Thanks!


I used to spin.
I would spin in cirlces until I became imbalanced and fell to the ground.
I could spin for ten minutes straight or just seconds; always, I felt free.
The wind, the nature, the life around me meshed into the most breathtaking color I have ever seen, though indescribable.
I decided to call this color, the color of infinity.
I had no limits as I whipped myself around in circles.
I felt infinite.
I saw infinity.
I could fly.
The grass was my cushion and the sky was my fortress.
When I opened my eyes, I could see my whole universe being tossed on its side, then in circles, and sometimes even upside down.
Eventually, I would regain my balance and my world was restored to me.
My innocence trusted that, in any case, I would always be given my world back to me.
If ever the chaos of the trees and the clouds and the hills being ripped around by my imbalance became overbearing, I could close my eyes, take a deep breath, and wake up to a world that was clear and familiar and comfortable to me.


You made my life spin.
In your arms, I felt infinite and invincible.
The excitement and joy you brought to me gave me wings.
Warmness ensued, filling my entire being.
Whether it was our time or not to fall back into the grass, the day you had to leave was when my world started tossing in every which direction.
Before we had to let go and fall, the things you told me reassured me that I would not be dizzy for long and that not even this fall could keep us from spinning again.
My innocence trusted those three powerful words.
I opened my eyes, slowly, with your comforting words lingering in my mind and in my heart, only to be blind-sided by a world torn before my eyes.
Where has my trust gone?
Why does it seem impossible to regain my balance?
I can close my eyes for days, and still I cannot escape from my overturned world.
It is unfair that my world before you is unable to be restored.
I fear that only you have the capacity to rescue me from my chaos; and that you will never be back to do so.
Sometimes, I am afraid that I will never be freed from my forever dizzy world.
I know it will take time to regain clarity, if I must find it on my own...but it scares me that I may never be able to take that deep breath and open my eyes to a familiar world.

Trapped.