My Inexistance

My Inexistence..

My heart shaped as though
inexistence was the aimed savior
literally I speak to myself
wondering if I had been dead, had it been best

I have been told my future
written upon hopes and dreams of others
I solemnly craved for a diversion
out of the road, they planned

Had I been sensual
Had it not been casual
And in many years would life remain
the same as it is now

Would other girls have freedom in their words
would they be criticized for being a child
asked to grow up before their time
Ordered to forcefully endure a new life

Where their future planned by the "elders"
and a man to whom they would surrender
I do not wish to live this life
But, my will and heart fail me, and I submit to fate

I let go of my desires, I lose my goals
My dreams, my happiness, I give away
Hopes of little princesses, flying on wings of the white birds
That is not me, for I, a black crow amidst the bitter white snow