The Poem Was Always Meant To Be Yours

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03-07-2009, 10:32 AM
~Sophia~

The Poem Was Always Meant To Be Yours

The Poem Was Always Meant To Be Yours

You asked for clarity and I released
a thousand white doves with ribbons
spun from my hair to lasso the sun.
But in the pure rays of streaming light
you saw only the shadows of charred
ravens pecking at your eyes.

You asked for the serenity of clear blue
ocean waters and I built an ark to sail
you around the world. Heaving,
you got seasick in the harbor.

You asked for the wisdom of stones and
I carved a temple in your name on a rocky
mountain top. Standing at the bottom
you said the elevation made you weak.

And when I’d run out of miracles
realized - you were the sorrow
I would never breach.
03-07-2009, 12:56 PM
Cellar Door

This is a beautiful poem. I love the images of hope and the subsequent letting down, as well as the revelation at the end. However, I think the first stanza is stronger than the middle two; the last one is perfect. Nice work!
03-07-2009, 02:53 PM
Virgil

This is excellent!! I loved ervery word Sophia. This may be one of the best lit net poems ever. :) :)
03-07-2009, 05:17 PM
~Sophia~

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cellar Door

This is a beautiful poem. I love the images of hope and the subsequent letting down, as well as the revelation at the end. However, I think the first stanza is stronger than the middle two; the last one is perfect. Nice work!

Thanks CD (hope you don't mind my shortening your name). I will look at the middle two stanzas with your eyes.

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Quote:

posted by Virgil

This is excellent!! I loved ervery word Sophia. This may be one of the best lit net poems ever.

Oh my goodness Virgil, thank you. Wow, that's quite a compliment (I'm blushing http://www.websmileys.com/sm/happy/1211.gif).