a few poems please comment

bullying

i used to see myself the best
i used to have it all
i used to be invincible
but bullies made me fall

i used to enjoy coming school
i used to feel so tall
i often see myself a fool
and now i feel so small

they call me names
they hit and kick
they throw my stuff around

they bully me and not my friends
what have i done wrong

i cut myself
untill they stopped
it never seemed to end

i often think
whats happened now
i wonder who i am


Feelings

i have these feelings
there so strong
i told you about them
you just laughed
i dont know what to do
i said i love you
but is it true
we feel different
and i dont blame you
im not the best kisser
im not the greatest looking
what do i have going for me
it feels like nothing at all
he's better than me
i dont see why i try

Love

I wasnt single
but you was
I broke the trust
you had in me
I said i love you
I still dont understand
why i did it
and what the word means
I said i know
but do we realy see
''I love you''
3 little words
said too much
but not enough
the words can hurt
and we all have feelings
words can hurt
I see that know

We All

We all say I love you
But who knows what it means
You might know a definition
But you wont truly know
It can hurt when you feel it
It can make you feel great
You know what it means
But do you truly understand
True love never dies
But grows in time
True love stories don’t have happy endings
Because true love never really ends

Please Comment Them

Hey :)

I like what you wrote but it feels that you are hesitant about something in your life that makes you weak. I would advise to push more of the energy you have into the poem :)

I really liked the theme of bullying, it touches on a philosophical aspect of who we are. But again, you tried to victimise yourself in the poem and I feel that you are way stronger in real life :)

We all reminded me of Shakespeare's sonnet "Let me not to the marriage of true mind" :) very good theme, I like it.

In the third poem "Love" I think you meant Now instead of know. Anyway, I think you can touch on other themes in life, I can see you do that :) Don't limit yourself to the theme of love only.

Take care my friend :)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by arabian night

you tried to victimise yourself in the poem and I feel that you are way stronger in real life :)

In the third poem "Love" I think you meant Now instead of know. Anyway, I think you can touch on other themes in life, I can see you do that :) Don't limit yourself to the theme of love only.

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in my first poem, in a way, it is related to me because i wrote it when i was going through a phase of being bullied at school but i generalised it to show what the effects can be on some people.

thanks for the point, yes i did mean that, just a slight typo...

i do try and touch on other theme's but when my ideas come to me, they come when im in a state of confusion and disbelieve, ussual when im in disbelief about someone liking me.

im currently writing another poem about bullying so i will post that as soon as i have finished

I like your honest expression. It isn't clouded or hampered by a lifetime of other stuff.

These pomes are honestly quite good.

I never knew your wrote pomes.

:thumbs_up

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Delta40

I like your honest expression. It isn't clouded or hampered by a lifetime of other stuff.

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thanks, i try and clear my mind of all other thoughts while im writing...

i used to see myself the best
i used to have it all
i used to be invincible
but bullies made me fall

this one is the best
nice job!

thank you rimbaud