Gutter money glittered in the street.
I bent to pick it up, but
the ligaments & sinew
of my mother's pain
set my back awry.
I looked for her in vain.
I seek her still.
I seek her still.
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Gutter money glittered in the street.
I bent to pick it up, but
the ligaments & sinew
of my mother's pain
set my back awry.
I looked for her in vain.
I seek her still.
I seek her still.
I've read it several times, and love the sound of it, particularly at the end, with the repetition of 'I seek her still' (great pause before the last line too),and with the 'mother's pain' line in the middle. I don't understand it though, unfortunately. First I read 'mother's pain' as the speaker being the mother, and then 'I looked for her..' threw me.
I wrote the poem several years ago so while I might be considered to have more authority as to what it means, to some extent I look at it as I might at a poem by someone else. I take a (simplistic?) view of the contrast between "gutter money" and the mother's pain and the search for her: Gutter money would be that which represents tawdry worldly success; the mother's pain is the non-material 95% of what life and happiness really are about; and the speaker's search for her is his effort to return from whatever worldly success he has had to the values represented by a mother's love...Quote:
Originally Posted by Silas Thorne
Thanks. It makes more sense now to me if I read it like that. I often read with a chisel in hand, and carve grooves where there weren't. :)
very nice contrast, and thank you for explaining... wish i would have written it
Very nice Prince. I know the feeling well, though my mother is still alive. I'm a little torn about the repetition. It's actually good, but I just have a nagging feeling it could be better with another line, not at the concluding line but the one before it. I don't have any suggestions and if one doesn't come to you, I would stay with the repetition. I think the repetition is better than ending it with one line less.
Repeating the last line has become something of a mannerism of mine and I want to watch out that I don't use it as a cheap way of ending a poem with emphasis. Here I would defend the use of it in that the first appearance is merely information; the repetition, I hope, has the effect of signalling that the search is likely to go on...and unlikely to end successfully.Quote:
Originally Posted by Virgil
May I reiterate (at least I hope I have said this before) how much I appreciate the careful, thoughtful reading you've been giving my poems.