Original Light and humorous verses
Here's a thread for Litnetters to post Light and humorous verse.
Please allow me to kick it off with this:
Scary Mary Contrary
In this strange realm where I've been sent
the sky and roofs live on the ground.
No creature’s wing nor hoof is bent,
but every flower walks around.
Folks here eat liquids out of hand
while drinking solids from a cup.
That’s why I sit when I should stand,
never quite knowing which end is up.
The Poem of the Town That Was Upside-down
Good idea, Aunt Shecky. Your post made me think of the following I wrote for a nephew in 1998. I think I posted this a year or so ago.
The Poem of the Town That Was Upside-down
Stop swatting that bird,
I said from the ground,
you’re the man from the place
where the sky’s green and brown,
and the rain never falls,
so the grass is all blue.
You’d better come down,
I’ve heard about you.
You must be crazy,
came the instant reply,
I’m already down,
you’re up in the sky.
And this bird’s gonna croak,
if I don’t net it soon,
blown around with the wind
in the Grey-blue Lagoon.
Your Grey-blue Lagoon
is where birds like to fly.
They’re not thrashing around,
they’re not going to die.
You can’t really be real,
this is some kind of joke,
an upside-down town,
filled with upside-down folk.
Look at that green thing
in front of your nose –
what do you call it,
and the branch where it grows?
Let me guess; they are clouds;
they could never be leaves,
and you all live in houses
that sit on their eaves.
So you’ve seen my home?
And he started to climb
down, or up if you choose,
the trunk in no time,
until I was looking
directly at him
with a mouth in his head
and an eye on his chin,
and hair all around
from his head to his jaw,
and ten toes for fingers,
you won’t believe what I saw.
I started to run,
I was scared as could be,
but he started back down-up
and said follow me.
He gave me a foot,
that was really a hand.
It was way beyond strange,
I’m sure you understand.
Away we both went
through the tops of the trees,
this poet and a man
who had elbows for knees.
We arrived at a place,
at the edge of the wood;
I’d fail at descriptives,
if describe it I could:
A banner with “Get-Out-Of
Our Home in the Sky”
and instead of hello
they all said good-bye.
But I took off my shoes
and shook feet, nonetheless,
commenced my farewells,
in a daze, I’ll confess,
for it was true of the houses
I needed no further proof –
every one, every building
rose up from its roof.
I met all the children,
smart as they were tall,
but the parents and grown-ups
were fussy and small.
This reversal was cleared
in a song that they sung
about how each was born old
and died when they’re young.
Once I accustomed
myself to the town,
I had fun falling up,
but got sick rising down.
It was quite an adjustment
to make in my head –
that night I slept on the floor
and fell into the bed.
I dreamed I awoke
and this was all in my dreams.
I assure you my dithers
were more than it seems,
for when I really woke down
by the light of the moon
the children all laughed
‘cause I’d slept out ‘til noon.
Breakfast was good,
we had eggs that were red,
they’re favorite for sure,
by the smiles on their heads,
but the frowns on their lips
told me late I must go
from this land of green sky
with the blue grass below.
You’ll become one of us
if you don’t say hello;
they were right, my left thumb
had become a big toe,
and both of my lips
were growing eyelashes,
the grass had turned gray
and was throwing out flashes.
I ran through the green clouds,
the branches were wet,
there the birds had found shelter;
it was all they could get.
I was ever so grateful
for the home of my heart,
where poems end when they stop
and begin where they start.
“Bless You, You Angel!” said Satan
“Bless You, You Angel!” said Satan
I wonder if the Devil swears,
When he smashes his left hoof?
In climatically rearranged phrases,
That would frost Hell’s Roof?
Does he say “What the heaven?”
Or perhaps “By the blessed pearly gate”?
Maybe “Oh, be forgiven if I will!”
Mocking everything he hates?
“When heaven boils over!” might be his cry
Or “Beelzebub on a window pane!”
But he can’t say “What the Devil!?”
Or he’ll take his own name in vain!
Pendragon
© 11/11/08