the farewell

It has been a very long time since she last stood there…
A very long time has passed… that long harsh time that forces you to change, to commit things you dislike, makes you lose your balance and fall apart…
A very long time has passed… everything about her has changed: her expressions, her features, even her senses, even that shiny smile that used to capture everyone and make them forget their misery and doubts… but it's all gone now… she's nothing but another blank page of this harsh life's book, a blank black page without features or punctuation, or any feelings expressed…
Since her graduate and marriage to that fat figure her social class forced her to marry, she stopped thinking about her once-handsome-beloved, as if tricking the fate and convincing it that she no longer loves him… the most handsome young man in the faculty… the most educated and attractive! She tried to stop her emotions from becoming a huge volcano and explode, she was trying to keep her balance and protect her fake cold marriage.
She didn't have children. That was a blessing and a curse at the same time. She has never thought of it this way, but now –without children- she could easily let go without regrets or feelings of guilt.
All those thought passed in her mind as she stood on the beach, feeling the wind kissing her neck and blowing her brown-blond hair… she couldn't realize what brought her there but she felt something was occurring to her scared heart, which was hypnotizing her. She suddenly felt a huge need to run away to that beach, HER beach that had witnessed all of her naughtiness and life-loving…
She suddenly remembered him with a great yearn that tore her heart into pieces. What has become of him? Where is he right now? She remembered how much she used to love him and how harsh this fate can be…
She suddenly noticed a black figure standing there watching her… it was a tall black figure with a blank featureless face… it was him! Hiding in a long black coat in the beginning of autumn. As she tried to get closer to him, he drew away.
At last, he walked away without looking back and she wondered as she was walking into the cold deep sea: why is life so regretful??? But she couldn't hear any answer as she sank into the cold dark sea- she always considered home!