Clean White Suits

Okay, so I could have sworn that I posted this one a long time ago, but I was thumbing through my old threads and it seems I was mistaken. so here it is, in all it's glory. As always, comments greatly appreciated, along with criticism, as long as it's constructive criticism.



Clean White Suits

I stepped outside today
for the first time in two weeks,
and the sun was shining brighter
then my most vivid memories of childhood.
To say the least,
I could truly feel my bones thawing out,
just as the earth does around this time each year.
This gives fresh perspective
to very old principles-
There is no such thing
as the "seer" and the "seen";
The universe could never divide itself
in such a way.
Keep in mind, if you would,
as we sit here
taking in the scenery in our clean white suits,
that such a view is a gift
handed down from God himself,
to be enjoyed only with the highest reverance
and gratitude.
Ah, yes,
feelings for which there are no words.
Can you picture me smiling to myself?

It's very nice, Chris.

Thank you, Aledander ;)

Apart from my own philosophical/theological objection to any assertions as to what this unseen 'God' may have intended, I was especially moved by these lines:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by sparr0w

There is no such thing
as the "seer" and the "seen";
The universe could never divide itself
in such a way.

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Quote:

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as we sit here
taking in the scenery in our clean white suits,

---

that "clean white suits" is a marvelous indictment of how we adorn ourselves in the pretense of innocence!

Quote:

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Ah, yes,
feelings for which there are no words.
Can you picture me smiling to myself?

---

Lovely ending!

this strikes me as a rather uplifting piece
my favorite are the last 2 lines, they sum up my outlook on life right now.
even though we may be frowning to others, we can always smile to ourselfs
as always, enjoyable as ever
good to see you back

Beautiful how it drifts from the day to the deeper. The weather first, the inner weather afterwards, and then the coming to the "fresh principles from old perspectives". Very nice.

Quote:

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Can you picture me smiling to myself?

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And can you me?
:)

It comes to me that the Sparrow can sing very prettily and has a clear voice among the other songbirds, ours has a unique voice among poets! :) :thumbs_up

Very nice poem, it reads well. :) I love the ending too and I like the emotion of the poem.

Edit: I forgot to say, I think your should replace your 'then' by a 'than' in the fourth line.

This is exquisite! But to believe in an undivided universe are we and God not undivided. Is this what you are smiling about? To see is to be seen.

Ahh, thank you all so much for the feedback!!! As always, a wonderful group of individuals find themselves on here. Sweets: damn, you found the same thing I found (fittingly about ten seconds after I posted it) in the fourth line. I assure you, its a misprint, and does not exist in the origional ;) Pendragon: You know I always greatly respect your feedback. And yes, you caught one of the four bases on which I long ago chose the pen name "sparr0w". And, finally, to Symphony and firefangled: You both caught themes from this work that I diddn't expect anyone to catch. Well done! Please do hit me up again when I post (probably tonight, if I finish the one Ive been working on). Peace- Chris ;)

Oh, and Symphony- Yes, I believe I can... Glorious