in search of light

you said
i don't know how to love

maybe you're right.

i know how to
bend light and
watch it disappear
i can turn prisms
into death rays i
can darken july.

i have seen your arms become
wardens for your
heart, guarding you.
they used to hold but
now imprison me
never touching they bolt
me into myself.

there is a little white sheet over my mouth
and i try not to scream
because i don't want it
to come off and
let people
hear me bleed out

i don't think they can see
it, it's all i have left, this one piece
this film,
it's not a tissue really
more like condensation
more like a black hole
rather like memory
you see i think
maybe
just maybe
i have loved

there are pretty white walls that i yearn
for some kind
any kind
not too particular
here not too particular
where could i go
would like if they're soundproof
would like if they're clouds;
i just want to
leave
i'm so lonely
and it's so cold
and like rasputin i
drown and i
drown...but i
still haven't died.

...sentimental,it's sad yet beautiful

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by amuse

i know how to
bend light and
watch it disappear
i can turn prisms
into death rays i
can darken july.

...

let people
hear me bleed out

---

sentimental? not just sentimental, the way it is put, the words are strong and powerful. you can feel it thru' those lines. i liked those 3 stanzas, esp the first one.. :)

yEA,i KNOW,IT IS powerful,i felt it,but I feel rather sad and borken while I was reading it,u know,just what I felt on my nerve,SADNESS.

Az, it's just great :)

the best one I have read by you I think.
I know the feeling you describe so well it hurts.

you can always put my feelings into more beautyful
words than I ever could...

Avalive, rocksea, Jay, and Helga, thank you. i really appreciate that you took the time to read this and i'm glad it touched you. Helga, that was sweet...i just shared what we all go through, just caught it at a very terrible moment.

Beautiful, just beautiful, amuse. I love the imagery you use, especially with the sheet covering your mouth, and it flows smoothly - the correct words all in the correct places. I look forward to more.