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I once said a prayer, a prayer to whom, I did not know
I once said good bye but I remembered to whom
I once laughed, but at what I forgot
I once regretted that i remembered the act
I once cried, so quietly that no one heard
I once died inside, so somebody would look my way
I once ran, and remembered what I ran from
I once, just once, only once, dared to hope, and I remembered to hope again
If I'm getting your idea, it's all 'sad' except for the last line which seems 'happy', positive. It might be only me but I think the poem could be interesting if kept all dark... if the idea of the existence of hope wasn't the point :)
why did u use the word "BUT" instead of "AND" ?Quote:
I once said good bye but I remembered to whom
Suppose the author was digging her memories back..re-calling the past, eventhough they perhaps are not too good to be remembered again.
Interesting,the ideas are well expressed
I guess the and does sound better... thanks Sub...
Jay, I think I like the fact that it changes becuase part of what im trying to say is that through dark times the only thing that can keep one going is that little light at the end of the tunnel, for me it was hope. One of my greatest fear (and i have plenty of them) is despair.
thanks for looking
Really liked this poem Jester :D . . . I think I'm going to spend more time in the 'archives' so to speak . . . I would hate to miss out on other poems like this :)
to me it seems that by saying goodbye, the writer forgot about the person, then remembered them, i want to say almost in sorrow, i don't think it is depressing, but i wish that it elaborated on each of these lines a bit more, perhaps making them each a stanza of their own?Quote:
Originally Posted by subterranean