Just another myth...

This short story is actually an assignment. if anybody have time to read it,please criticise and help me to revise it. excuse me for the spell and grammar mistakes/I havn't proofread it yet. (ops,there must be plenty of them.sorry)


It was a small town surrounded by woods and nameless mountains. There was only one way out of the town. It was actually a valley that was named after a man called Dan. Everybody in the town knew that Dan was the only person who ever attempted to save the whole town from a disaster. Eventually, his deed became a part of the old myth too. The myth keeps many stories about the Valley. It had been called Dead Valley before. Nobody could get through it. The valley was cursed. People didn’t dare to even think about stepping into that valley. Once you thought about it for a minute, you would be haunted by nightmares or strange illness. As time went by, from generation to generation, there was not a single person in the town who dared to mention that valley again. So, the folks even gradually forgot about the path that would lead them out of the town. They lived in the town from their birth to death contentedly and unchangeably. They believed that was the way it meant to be. Besides, everything was perfect before they went wrong.

“The myth says there is a lake on the other side of the mountain. But, it is blocked by the wall at the end of the Dead Valley. Since nobody could ever get through the valley, Therefore, nobody ever got a chance to find out if the myth is true or not.” A young lad was talking to a girl sort of excitedly. People loved myth in the town. Dan loved them much too. That’s why he read a lot of them.

The myth attracted the girl so much that she lost her mind in the story. She was pondering something only she knew. After a little while, she spoke again “Do you ever think we would need that forbidden lake someday if we run out of the water of the lake in our own town?”

Dan smiled “ No, Vila, it’s impossible for us to get connected to that lake. And we will not going to run out of our water cause it always rains, right?”

“ What about it doesn’t rain when we need the rain?” she questioned him without any hesitation. But, she didn’t wait for his answer. She stood up from the water. The water drops left on her body were dripping down her skin and falling into the lake without any unneeded sound.

“Dan, why is it so sweet?” the young girl was naked in the lake. The water in the lake was so undisturbed and blue just like a huge sapphire. The girl’s skin was snow white. She looked as graceful as a swan.

“Because you always bath in it. You sweeten it.” The young man wisely satisfied the girl’s curiosity.

The girl, her name was Vila, smiled shyly and stared in the lad’s eyes: “So the other lakes in the town won’t taste so sweet cause I never bathed in them?”

She was smart. He knew she was smart and lovely as an elf. So, he smiled without a reply and walked towards the water from where he sat earlier. He undid his clothing. In no time, he had been in the water and floated himself towards Vila.

“I always think it is those petals that make the lake so sweet. They look sweet, don’t they?” she looked dearly at the petals that came off from some trees around the lake. Those were white petals; they had a shape of raindrop. The white petals were never stained. They never touched anything. The moment they did, they melt into nothing. They fell off from the trees, floated in the air like snowflakes and then when they finally met the lake, they instantly melt into the water. Disappeared to nowhere.

Dan came closer. Held Vila from behind. Slowly touched where his hands landed on Vila’s body. Gently yet firmly pulled Vila on his chest while he was placing his head on her lovely shoulder. It was the most peaceful but passionate moment of the day. Dan and Vila shared their every gentle sensation together in the holy lake. They didn’t kiss. They didn’t talk. They stayed there quietly, as close as one, as long as forever. Some wild birds flew over the lake all of a sudden. Some of them touched the surface of the lake and the water rippled in the light from the cloudless sky. He didn’t open his eyes while the birds were making lovely sound. He just slightly moved his head, tried to feel her breath. His face touched her neck. She smiled, felt the infinite happiness growing all over her.

The town was actually blessed for so many years. People lived happily there. No starvation, no mishap, no plague. It was a heaven on earth. People there never worried about anything cause nothing would go wrong as they always believed.

Day in and day out, nothing changed for the people in the town.

A hot summer day in the bush, Vila was dressed up like a huntress. Well, she was a huntress. One of the best in the town. However, she never really hurt a single animal. If she saw a rabbit was chasing by a wolf or wild dog, she would only use one arrow to stop the bloody prey from happening. Her arrows only scared away them instead of hurting them. She was not the only one who protected the wild creatures. Because the people there loved their village so much that the harmony between the inhabitants and the nature was never broken or harmed.

It was a very hot day. The way too hot that made Vila felt strangely uneasy. She didn’t see many animals that day. So, she decided to go home and make some fresh food for Dan and his mother. She went to fetch some water from the lake before she went home. When she arrived at the lake. She couldn’t help jumping into it and sip the water as she always did. After the joyful stay, her tiredness was washed away. She looked even more beautiful and refreshed than ever.

When she got home, nobody was there. She just started to prepare for food. There was something looked like salt but it was actually sugar. It was exactly tiny blue grain. People didn’t know what is salt in the town; they didn’t have anything like that. They tasted sweet sugar only. And sugar gave them the energy that they needed. While Vila was enjoying her cooking, Dan and his mother got home.

“ Ah, I can smell it! Vila’s Mushroom soup.” The old lady kindly started a conversation. Dan kissed Vila on her cheek and began to help her with the cooking.

“Mom knows everything.” Vila smiled at the old lady and turned to get a crystal glass in the cabinet behind her back. She added some blue sugar in the glass. While she was pouring the water in it the sugar melt right away and the water became transparently blue. She brought the glass to the old lady.

“You always know what I need.” The old lady smiled. She was about to drink. The door opened. Someone broke in. It was a mid age man. He stopped at the door and gasped hard. “Don’t drink!” he shouted loud out when he saw Dan’s mother held the glass in her hand.

They were confused and waited the man to hold his breath back.

“What happened, Luis?” Dan asked impatiently. He sensed something.

The man even started to cried in tears. “ They died. They are all dead.” Luis couldn’t help himself.

Vila tried to calm him down. Helped him step in the room.

“The water. There is something wrong with the water in the lake. They are poisoned by curse.” Luis started to organize himself. And explained the whole thing. “Everybody who drank the water from the lake died instantly. We didn’t believe it was real. We test the water with animals; they just died the way our folks did. We have no clue what the hell is happening but the source is from the lake.” He started to cry again. “Almost everyone in the town drank the water today. Some of them have died. Some are dying. It is the disaster that we cannot handle here. We cannot han…dle…” Luis suddenly lost his voice and went paralyzed.

The three of them lost their voice too. They could not believe what was going on. Dan and Vila rushed to see the folks that were all gathered in the temple of the town. The whole town was in the fatal doom. The night wasn’t peaceful no more. Weeps and groans became the requiem for the town. The lake was quieter than ever. Nobody ever dared to get close to it any more. As quiet as death, as quiet as grave.

3 days passed by. Many people had died. More and more people were dying. Vila and Dan were struggling. They tried everything to stop people from dying and encourage people to keep faith and fight with the death till their very last breath.

“ We won’t be able to stop this. We cannot stay here to see our folks dying like this. Dan, We just…” her tears dropped on a kid’s face. The kid just died because of thirsty. Everybody in the town had not drink a drop of water for 3 days. Now, there were more people died of thirsty than the illness. The lakes were the only way the folks got water from. Without it they couldn’t survive. More and more people couldn’t stand being thirsty and sneaked to the lake to drink. None of them could come back alive.

Dan was pale and faint. He still tried to hold Vila and gave the slightest smile he could to make her feel just a little bit better.

“Dan, I drank the water. Why I am still alive? I bathed in the lake that day and the poison water was all over my tongue and my stomach. Why don’t I die? I’d rather die than seeing my folks leaving me like this.” Vila didn’t even have any strength left to cry. She leaned on his chest. They stayed there and waited, so did the rest of the town, wait to die before sunset or after sunrise. It was just a matter of time. Nobody tried to struggle any more. They let the death crawling and spreading on their land. Now they expected death. Cause death was the only way to escape from seeing more people dying beside them. There was no hope left in their hearts just like there were no stars in the sky to guide their way. Once they lost their faith, the Dead took over the town before the real death came. Those people who closed their eyes never expected to ever wake up again. Dan and Vila fell in coma and lost their consciousness while their breaths were becoming weaker and weaker.

“Anthony, mom loves you. Mom loves you so much. But can’t save you. Anthony. You must live. You must not die. Mom loves Anthony…” the weep and whisper from somewhere nearby woke Vila up. She tried hard to open her eyes slightly with all the strength she could give. She saw a woman was lying on the earth, holding a pair of old shoes in her arms. The woman pressed her lips on the shoes and kept whispering the same words. Her eyes didn’t move a bit. There were no tears in them. The eyeballs were about to fall out. Vila couldn’t move her eyes from the woman. She was already as stiff as a cold stone. However, she felt something started to burst in her dying body. She sensed something that forced her to stand up and move. That was the strength that she needed, that was the strength, which was strong enough to implant a new life in her. She suddenly remembered the story in the myth Dan once told her. She could never trust herself more than the moment she decided to do something she always believed but ignored. She didn’t have a second to rethink about this or blame herself. Again, she smiled at the heaven. Pressed a kiss on Dan’s chest where his heart still beat underneath. In on time, she moved her heavy body out of Dan’s arms. Tried to walk and finally she got the strength to run. She reached her horse, jumped upon its back. She raced with time and fate in the density of the endless darkness. Her horse head for the Dead Valley as fast as it’s riding on the wind. She had no fear of Dead Valley when she finally arrived there. The valley was so narrow that made Vila felt like she was pressed and smashed by it. She just went on approaching towards the end of the valley. All of a sudden, Vila fell off the horse, there was something unknown bumped in her and brought her off the horse. The unbearable pain made her cry out loud when her body hit the ground. It was so dark that she couldn’t see a thing. She thought she would fail this. She thought she couldn’t make the wrong thing right. But, the force in her body urged her to crawl towards the direction she was heading for. Suddenly, she felt her hand meet something in front of her. She tried to feel it with her broken fingers. It was like a wall. They were rocks that blocked the way. Vila fell on her feet. Again, she was in coma and hopelessness. Her body couldn’t move any more. The wind blew like black witch’s frozen breath, trying to take everything alive during the night.

The darkness was so invincible but the sun would always rise. If this was the only hope, then this would be the one that lighted all the other hopes. Sun rose up and the bright light took over the darkness. Vila was warmed up. Her eyes opened again. To her great surprise, she was actually on the top of a hill. She couldn’t believe what she saw. She thought it was her hallucination before death. Her horse came over and lick her hand gently, so that she realized it was real. There was a lake at the end of the valley; it was on the other side of the mountain. And it was just right under Vila’s feet. This would be the source that could save the town. Once people could drink again, they could just stay alive and everything would be alright again. Vila was in such a joy. However, she soon realized that it was no way to lead the water into the town. The rocks blocked the lake.

“No, I won’t let you destroy my town. I’m here. I went through the Dead Valley. I did it. There must be a way to save all.” Vila tried her best to stand up and used all her strength to attempt to make the rocks move. There wasn’t even the slightest possibility of moving the rocks by Vila. Even all the people in the town wouldn’t do. But, Vila kept hit the rock. It was like a cliff where she stood. Suddenly, she pushed the rock too hard that she fell off into the lake. Her body kept sinking deep into it. Vila was dying. She knew she was. After all this, she had nothing she could do at this very moment. The expression on her face became so calm and peaceful. She used the last breath and strength to lift her hands up to her chest. Kept her fingers crossed. All her fingers were broken but they still crossed together tightly and firmly. Her body just kept on sinking till it disappeared in the deep blue.

“ Rain, rain. Pure water from heaven. Rain rain, please come and save the my town…”this might be what Vila prayed at the last moment. That’s why it did start to rain all of a sudden. The rain was pouring down as if there was a leak of heaven’s ocean. In no time, the rain fulfilled the lake and the water just kept getting higher and higher. Finally, the water from the lake overflowed its brim and broke the rocks. It was like a flood. The water dashed into the dying town.


Dan woke up but couldn’t find Vila. He had no time to search for her. The only thing he did was trying to save more people he could by serving them the fresh water from nowhere. Yea, the water was from nowhere and nobody knew where was it from. Cause nobody would ever think of the forbidden lake at the end of the Dead Valley. Nobody dared to. Nobody would even believe what was in the myth. Of course, nobody ever had a clue what Vila did for them. All the people in town believed that Vila cloud not stand the thirsty and went to the cursed lake in the town for water, so she died there just like some other people did. The saved town was just like what it was before the disaster. The only thing that changed in the town is that the water from the lake didn’t taste sweet any longer. It tastes a little bit bitter and salty. People say it just tasted like tears. Dan was so sad for losing Vila. But, he had to do something more important to his town. He had to lead his people to rebuild their land. The land that Vila saved in a way that nobody would ever know. Even Dan didn’t know. Everybody loves myth but nobody really believes in it. There was only one that did believe it. Just only one…and it was enough.