sex and marriage

According to Lady Chatterley's Lover,D.H. Lawrence seems to want to alter the serious situation of man and woman under the advanced and civilized material world by inviting another relationship between man and woman. In his opinion, sex and love should be in harmony.However,more and more marriages are lack of love and less favorable sex. If one loves another, they must have made sex,but they may not get married. What's the situation nowadays? More and more divorce can tell us something at least.

You are right love and sex goes together. But what you say is that if one loves to each other they must have sex. This idea is old fashined, because now , 20 years ago at least, everyone has sex with each other no matter love or not.
So divorce causes , come from another place, not love without sex, or sex without love,

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Originally Posted by eagleshire

You are right love and sex goes together. But what you say is that if one loves to each other they must have sex. This idea is old fashined, because now , 20 years ago at least, everyone has sex with each other no matter love or not.
So divorce causes , come from another place, not love without sex, or sex without love,

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I think it is a lot more complicated than that. In Lawrence's novels he never advocated 'free love', and that may have been happening back 20 yrs ago, but it probably still is happening in our society. Remember better birth control perpetuated that trend, and then, too, it was prior to the onset of so much AID's awareness, not to mention other diseases. Now I think the trend might be more as L looked on life - to settle down with one person one truly is compatible with and loves and make it work. It takes work to balance it all out. I think in Lady Chatterly's Lover he was saying that Connie became truly awakened sensually with the keeper, her lover. Her husband had been crippled, but his crippled state was more in his mind. He would show her no affection; she tried, but was shunned by him, physically and emotionally. He became a cold person, as compared to the warmth and sensuality of the lover. She had had other lovers in the past, but this man really connected with her spiritually and physically, so that the relationship was right in the end for both of them.
Divorce can stem from many things, but a really healthy marriage will have the balance of sex and communication. Sex is not all there is, this is true, but excluded it can make one alienated from their partner, and so the seams come appart, in the marriage, eventually. Ask Dr. Ruth...haha:lol: . It may be a slow process, but a wearing away of the cement that holds two people closely together. Apathy and separateness will not hold a marriage together.

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Originally Posted by godhelpme2

According to Lady Chatterley's Lover,D.H. Lawrence seems to want to alter the serious situation of man and woman under the advanced and civilized material world by inviting another relationship between man and woman. In his opinion, sex and love should be in harmony.However,more and more marriages are lack of love and less favorable sex. If one loves another, they must have made sex,but they may not get married. What's the situation nowadays? More and more divorce can tell us something at least.

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godhelpme2, see my other post first. Now I don't really know what you are asking specifically here. Lawrence did not advocate a new relationship between man and woman. He simply said the one Connie had with her husband was not working - that was easy to see. In the end the two compatible people got together and made love and were ultimately right for each other. Lawrence was for monogomy so I am sure he envisioned them staying together after the novel ends and not have a divorce later. You seem like you have a dim view of marriage. Perhaps you need more maturity to understand it better. I think that nowdays people marry too young and that brings on divorce. I don't know the statistics on divorce here in the US or around the world. It seems I can only say my son is in his 30's and waited to marry. I feel certain his marriage will last. His friend also married later and they seem to have good marriages. You would have to check out the statistics to find out if marriage today is working. It is a broad topic.

As janine says, Lawrence was no advocate of "free love." The novel really sets out to show what has gone wrong with society that Connie breaks from her husband.

My friend most people think romantic love and sexual desire go hand in hand, and that you can't have one without the other. But a psychologist who argues that it's not that simple, bases her findings on follow-up interviews with a group of women she's followed for more than a decade. Developmental psychologist Lisa Diamond, PhD, started noticing something interesting about her study group's love lives.

As I see it; Love and Sex go together very well if one can make the right dicision about each, in Lady Chatterly's Lover; Lawrence was showing the truth about selfish marriages, Connie wanted something more than that, she broke the rules of herself, and set herself free, I don't believe in Adultry and I don't encourage it, but we have to see both sides here, and she had alittle bit of rightness in doing what she did...

As for people these days, sex and love are'nt always together, and love isn't always the reason to have sex, which I think is so contradicting; Love itself is intimate, sex is what intimacy stands for, the combination of the two can make a good mixture.

Lawrence here was reviewing the whole view from a spectators eye, let's not forget that he wrote the book after Freda (his wife) cheated on him, but still I didn't feel that he took anyone's side in the novel, the wole book was great; it gives you a deep look into love, sex, marriage, and how to combine all these in your life without slipping away, without making the same mistakes that alot of people have done before you...