Construction Chronicles

I know this is technically my own writing, but I don't want opinions or anything. I had to do a creative redoing of fairy tales for my Children's Literature course, and they are working on the road by my house. Have been for like a month, so there have been a lot of hold ups and such. That gave me an idea. These are blurbs about what would have happened if there had been construction in some famous fairy tales:

The Construction Chronicles

Some people have been experiencing the headache know as construction. You may know some of the people causing uproar in the area this passed week.

The line ups of cars have been backed up quite a bit and many people have been wishing that they could find alternate ways to work, home and school. Having very few options, many people were impressed by Jack Stalk’s method: a giant beanstalk. He thought his days of magic beans were over, but in annoyance, many citizens had the displeasure of seeing Jack’s method put to use while they were forced to stay in the backed up roads. Sources say that people were even more annoyed with the large pot hole that has “sprung” up on the road making even more work for the all ready far behind construction crews. Of course, people who did not see the incident are amazed by the fact that this pot hole is more than a hole, there is actually a plant growing out of it.

The backed up roads had even more of an effect on Cindi Ella. She had her dress, shoes, and carriage and was headed to the ball in the hopes of escaping from the deeming world that she had been living in since her father got remarried following the death of her mother. Sources close to the young woman, appearing to be “mice-like,” squeaked out that “they were very unhappy about what occurred” stating that they had “attempted to aid the young girl and put a lot of work into their project, only to have it destroyed by Cindi’s evil step-sisters.” The more unbelievable part is that after this her fairy godmother got her ready for the ball, only to have Cindi sit in her beautiful car waiting at a stop sign until almost midnight. By the time she started to move, her time was up… In this story she did not leave behind a glass slipper, it was a pumpkin this time.

On another note, sources were impressed with the fact that there was a man on a horse yesterday. Since he too was stopped by the road crews with their red signs, people had quite the time to wonder at what was going on. Sources close to the man, who turned out to be a mayor, claimed that he was on a mission. Looking back at old newspaper articles we were able to find out a plausible explanation for what happened. Yesterday was exactly 100 years after a lovely princess had gone into a long slumber after pricking her finger on a spindle cursed by an evil fairy. The leader at the time was expected to be at the castle when the young woman, nicknamed “Sleeping Beauty,” woke up so as to fall in love with her and spend the rest of the life with her. Because of the delay, the princess actually woke up and wandered out to rejoin civilization without the prince. As a result, the prince is unable to have his “happily ever after.”

One of the worst effects of the construction occurred to a young newlywed. Her husband, called “Blue Beard” because of his blue beard, was away on a business vacation. He apparently returned sooner than expected. The details are shady, but for whatever the reason he killed his wife upon his return home. The sister was present, but is still in too much shock to be of much help to police. The dearly departed’s brothers did comment, saying that: “We were on our way to visit her, but we got stuck behind a stop sign because they are working on the road! If it wasn’t for that, our sister might be alive right now.”

Another amazing story to come out of this construction was Zel’s hair cut. Apparently while she was locked up in the tower, for whatever reason, her lover called for her hair to be let down. This resulted in a paving truck paving over her golden locks. A new hill in the road. As a result, we now see her with a new short bob. A fire truck was also called in with their ladder truck because the untimely loss of hair resulted in no way in or out of the tower.

Another death almost occurred today, although technically she was all ready dead, but that is something for the viewers out there to work out. As it happens, apparently the young woman ate a poison apple given to her by step-mother. She was about to be buried after being above ground, when a handsome young politician heard about her and attempted to come save her. He was almost too late, though, because of backed up traffic. Even his high power did not make the signs turn, and so he stayed parked until the sign changed. The traffic was so bad that he almost did not make it to her before she was buried. Sources say that he and his Sno are fine and happy, but they almost weren’t. Police state that if he hadn’t made it, there would have been seven fresh convicts in the local jail.

One good thing did come out of today. A little girl, Red, was reported missing yesterday by her parents. She showed up today, though, stating that once she got away from the wolf she got stuck in traffic attempting to return home. Police have taken the wolf into custody.

Sources are not sure if something good or bad came out of another local situation. Apparently a young woman was held against her will by a “beast.” He forbid her from escaping, but she tried anyways. Apparently she did not get far, though, because her subdivision was blocked off by the people working on the road.

The White Rabbit received a ticket today. He ran a red light. When asked for a comment he replied “I’m late, I’m late, for a very important date. No time to chat! Hello! Goodbye! I’m late, I’m late, I’m late.” The sign was on slow, but the light facing him was red, this has been a common problem this month. Sources say that they are actually quite happy together now, but no one knows if this is the truth or not.

All of these incidents could have been avoided, apparently a young man told everyone that he knew that the roads were backed up and the traffic terrible. Unfortunately, this young man was said to often exaggerate situations and so people ignored him. This was apparently the one time that they should have listened.

Thankfully, pick a villain and you will see the damage laid on the road crews. Curses have been laid, one woman was believed to yell “Off with his head” when told she had to stop, and general havoc has arose.

They can be moved if people want, but I just find them funny and it is the time of year when road work is occuring, so maybe it will give you something funny to think about while you are sitting around for 20 mins. :)