My Big Teddy Bear

My Big Teddy Bear

It was my first day of fourth grade.
It was my lunch period.
It was his lunch period too.
He was in the sixth grade though.

I developed a crush on him that day.
He was big, A big teddy bear.
I watched him at lunch when he'd take his tray.
I watched him every day, 180 days.
Then over the summer I forgot about him.
And we went our separate ways.

It was my first day of freshman year.
7:34 AM.
and suddenly he walked into the gym.
My feelings from 5 years before suddenly rushed back.

He hadn't changed a lot.
He'd grown about 5 or 6 inches.
And acquired a curly mop top.
But in my mind he was still that big teddy bear.

He was a junior,
And it took me two weeks to say hello.
We never really talked.
Just an occasional nod or wave in the hall.

He knew I liked him.
Heck, Everybody within 20 miles of our little ole town knew.
It was now track season.
We finally had our first 'real' conversation.
All we ever spoke of was our event, the shot put.
I knew he wasn't interested in me,
But for some reason I still had hope.

The year went on. It finally ended.
Our senior friends graduated.
Summer began.
Both with busy sports schedules.

We saw each other 9 times over the summer.
We still didn't talk.
My heart was weak
And I was just ready to give up.

Now, He's a senior. I'm a sophomore.
We're going our separate ways.
I'm into someone new.
Or so I say.

I told my friends,
I'm so over him.
He was such a jerk to me.
But i don't care how big a jerk he was.

Even if he didn't treat me as he should.
I still love him more than anyone else ever could.
He means so much to me.
But I hide it so no one else will see.

I'm trying to like other guys,
But I never give them a fair shake.
They never compare to him.
In my mind he's just too great!

I know in my heart that this big teddy bear,
Is going to be the one for me.
Even if he doesn't think so now.
He will, He'll finally see.

One day down the road
Our paths will cross again
Be tomorrow or years from now
His heart will let me in.

I'll love this boy,
For all time.
I just hope that soon he sees
That he was made to be my big teddy bear,
And he was made for me.