Alone in the crowd

Well, this is another of my "blue mood stories"... not really good, I didn't manage to really capture the image in my head... but well, perhaps there will be an improved version some day. Comments and critics welcome ;-)

ALONE IN THE CROWD

She walked slowly down the street, her long dark hair flowing around her in the wind, half covered by a white silky foulard that made it look even darker, her face hidden behind a delicate and pale makeup in which her eyes, black as coal, would have shone out hadn't they been veiled by such a sadness...

She felt her soul bleeding as she walked, torn open by invisible daggers and pierced by uncountable thorns of the black roses of love. Yet, she kept on walking and tried to keep a smile on her lips, hiding her pain from the crowd around her, and thus getting trapped in the contradiction of wanting somebody to notice and yet being unable to lower her shield, her defences... She had been hurt so many times... life had hitten her so hard everytime it had managed to sneak behind her armour she had dedicated herself to making it stronger for the last while... too long a time to remember exactly how long.

She felt her heart frozen, stopped inside her, constantly repeating her not to trust anybody, no matter what... reminding her that everytime life managed to get to her, she ended up completely opening herself up, making it easier to get hurt... blaming her for the emptiness inside her. And she knew her heart was telling the truth... yet she longed so much for a caring hand, for a soft voice whispering tender words in her ear.

She shook her head, slowly throwing away any feelings that could be trying to be reborn inside her... after all, she knew there was no way to heal the wounds she carried... and even if there had been, surely there wouldn't be anyone who'd help her... So she asked herself again what the hell she was doing in the middle of a crowd, waiting for someone to see behind her mask and offer her a hand to get out of the pain... if she knew there was no such person on this planet, so good her mask had become.

Suddenly she fell to the ground, in a whirlwind of hair and clothes... and people just passed her by and even trampled on her... She looked upwards and saw her own face looking at her from above, as her empty body passed by her dying soul without even noticing that any trace of life was being left behind...and she cried bitter tears of loneliness as she kept walking alone in the crowd

2005-04-11, 01:32