a moSt bizaRre pLay bY oNe oF the wOrld's moSt biZarre plaYwRightS!!!
Warning: do NOT read this if you have a problem with obscenity, or if you are very religious.
An excerpt from Penis! Penis!! Penis!!!
A play by Wolf Larsen
Short man: I love my penis! My penis spurts the blue sky all over the universe! And then I stick the World Trade Center up my booty hole! And God speaks to me through the giant ear in George Washington's buttocks!
Tall man: Sometimes when giant universes are swirling around the music...
The violin plays death...
The first modern dancer moves like the blue death...
All the characters from Star Wars jump out of God's booty hole. And all of the characters from Star Wars start to scream: Heart attack! Heart attack!
Tall man: All the volcanoes in my head are constantly exploding beautiful heart attacks all over the world. It’s getting to the point where only the strawberries can find my feet…
Short man: Whenever that happens to me I build giant sculptures of Dada-ist diarrhea to honor The Great Testicles of God!
The characters of Star Wars yell out: Glory to the Great Testicles of God! Glory to all of the millions of spaceships in our testicles!
Tall man: If we could just touch our testicles with art nouveau... Oh, it would be so upside down McDonald's Opera!
Short man: Whenever that happens I smear my naked body with music!
Tall man: I paint my heart attacks all over the walls!
One of the modern dancers moves like a heart attack spreading across the land…
The trumpet plays the spermatozoa swimming around and around the planet Earth…
Tall man: Even the misery of my happiness! Even the tomorrows of my yesterday! Endless boogers in my nose to say hello!
Short man: Yes, yes! Yes with all my happiness and all my sadness ****ing each other up the ***!
The trumpet plays sadness & happiness ****ing each other up the ***...
Tall man: I am searching for yesterdays. I am searching for all of the blue testicles of the Greek gods floating in outer space!
Both of the main characters laugh while the modern dancer moves like laughter.
Short man: I want to stick the Blue Sky in my ***! I want to hang my *** on the wall of the Louvre art museum in Paris! Then I want to put the Louvre Art Museum of Paris in my left testicle! And then all of the tourists will walk through my penis to reach the Louvre art museum in Paris, which will be located in my left testicle, to see my *** on the wall next to the Mona Lisa.
The Mona Lisa in see-through lingerie dances onto the stage. She dances with the male dancer. They dance the dance of Immaculate Conception together, while the trumpet plays the dance of Immaculate Conception.
Tall man: I like to make Immaculate Conception with my hamburger & fries! Even then the politicians of both political parties will talk the endless diarrhea that's falling out of the sky! Washington DC is the big mountain of diarrhea that I have come to love! Whether Republican or Democrat, after one of them politicians speaks, all I need is an entire supermarket aisle of toilet paper to clean up the mess!
Short man: I want to grab a sledgehammer and destroy the universe with it!
The trumpet begins destroying the universe with sledgehammer music. The male dancer is moving like the universe being destroyed with a sledgehammer...
Tall man: I am as peaceful as the blue sky ****ing God!
Short man: Yes! God wants to be ****ed by the blue sky!
The trumpet begins playing God being ****ing by the blue sky...
Tall man: Oh, if I could only achieve the Nirvana of McDonald's hamburgers made with the Special Sauce of God's spermatozoa!
Everyone screams: Praise be to God’s magical spermatozoa! Praise be to the athlete's foot of Heaven!
The harp begins playing the athlete's foot of Heaven, while the two dancers begin performing Heaven & Hell doing the Blue Sky together…
Tall man: The rain is a voice inside of my head. The sunshine is a voice inside my head too.
Short man: I want to pull out my penis and urinate My Philosophy all over the downtown crowds!
Caligula enters the stage walking on all fours like a cat. He is dressed like a transvestite.
Caligula says: If only I had chopped off more heads! Chopping off human heads is like the most beautiful sunny day ever found!
The trumpet and the harp play the most beautiful sunny day ever found.
Tall man: I want to pull the Amazon rainforest out of my testicles, and smear the Amazon rainforest all over the naked bodies of the people skipping through the downtown streets.
Short man: But first you have to sign your name all over the penis of the John Hancock building downtown!
The trumpet plays somebody signing their name all over the penis of the John Hancock building. Caligula and the Mona Lisa dance like somebody signing their name all over the penis of the John Hancock building together.
Tall man: I would love to have a homoerotic experience with Jesus Christ. And then after Jesus Christ came Christianity all over me, I would smear all of the used up grease from a fast food restaurant all over my naked body!
The harp plays ecstasy...
The trumpet plays abstract expressionism swirling all over the audience…
Caligula and Mona Lisa dance to ecstasy and Abstract expressionism, while George Washington (who is the first male dancer) is dancing the dance of masturbation with himself...
The trumpet plays masturbation...
Copyright 2020 by Wolf Larsen
