A Little Bit Of Humour # 298
GETTING ON # 13
You know that you have
Become an older chap
When your “happy hour”
Is spent taking a nap
FUNERALS DO NOT HAVE TO BE A TIME OF SADNESS
Funerals do not have to be a time of sadness
And while they should not be a time of gladness
They can still be a time of celebration though
Especially if the deceased was a miserable so and so
SOMETIMES AFTER THE WEDDING
Sometimes after the wedding
Despite the best intentions
There is a Honeymoon period
Causing unlucky abstentions
BREAKING NEWS IS COMING IN
Breaking News is coming in
About a tragedy, I’m being told
It’s at an origami competition
More to follow as it unfolds
ON THE MILLENNIUM FALCON
On the Millennium Falcon
When things are a bit slow
With time to knock one out,
Which is called a hand solo
AT MY ADVANCED AGE # 3
At my advanced age
I can still cut the mustard
It’s just opening the jar
That I find so terribly hard
I’M SOMETHING OF A JOKER # 1
I’m something of a joker
In fact, I’m comedy crazy
I even have a Sloth joke
But to be fare it’s a bit lazy
TGIGF
We celebrate Good Friday
And thank God reverently
For our saviour’s sacrifice
Thank God It's Good Friday
MY POETIC LICENSE
Something has happened
That I don’t think is nice
Because my poetic license
Has been revoked, Twice
THERE WAS A PARADE OF RABBITS
There was a parade of rabbits
All in a line
Hopping backwards,
A receding hare-line
WRITER CHARLES DICKENS
Writer Charles Dickens
Kept in his kitchen
The best of thymes,
The worst of thymes
THE GIANTS GRANDLY FEAST
The Giants grandly feast
In their great dominion
And the favourite delicacy
Among them is pickled minions
WE DON’T HAVE ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD
We don’t have all the time in the world
Make each day count, is my view
So, focus all of your efforts on today
And do the things you really want to do
DR WHO IS RENOWNED
Dr Who is renowned
For being totally awesome
But she had to call a Dalek
About a termite problem
FLOAT LIKE A BUTTERFLY
Float like a Butterfly
Sting like a Bee
Float like Buffalo,
Get punched in the face
A DEAL OF STRICTURE
I made an error, for which
There was a deal of stricture
On reflection I should not
Have asked Thor to hang a picture
THE HABITUALLY DISAPPOINTED SUPPORT GROUP
The habitually disappointed support group
Had good reason to bellyache
As their meeting had been cancelled
And as a result, there would be no cake
OLD AGE IS LIKE BEING IN A PLANE
Old age is like being in a plane
Flying through a typhoon
Because once you’re on board
There is nothing you can do
MIDDLE AGE IS THE TIME
Middle age is the time
When it takes you all night
To do once, what once,
You used to do all night
THE LATE GREAT GEORGE BURNS
“I smoke 10 to 15 cigars a day”
George Burns said when he was still a thing
Approaching his hundredth birthday
“At my age I have to hold on to something”
January 20th,1896 - March 9th, 1996
