A Little Bit Of Humour # 282

EXPLODING CHEESE

Breaking news: there’s been an explosion
At a cheese factory in Weston-Super-Mare
There have been no reports of casualties
Though there was De Brie everywhere

YOU HAVE A SYNDROME

If you keep randomly shouting out
“Broccoli” or “Cauliflower”
Have no regrets
It’s not something you can’t really help
Because it just means
You suffer from florets

I BOUGHT SHOES FROM A DRUG DEALER

I bought shoes from a drug dealer,
Not my normal purchase by the way,
And I don’t know what he laced them with
But I've been tripping all day

A TELLING EXPRESSION

I told my girlfriend that she had
Drawn her eyebrows in too high
She didn’t say anything in response
But there was a look of surprise

I’VE BEEN SIGNED UP FOR A COURSE

I’ve been signed up for a course
Which I don’t like one bit
As it’s all about escapology
And I'm struggling to get out of it

I’M DOING A SEMAPHORE COURSE

I’m doing a semaphore course
And the time is really dragging
Its tiring as well, and after six hours
Of training I was really flagging

MY GIRLFRIEND LOVES HORSES AND

My girlfriend loves horses and
All things Shakespearean
And she says “To be or not to be
A horse rider, that is equestrian”

THE BUFFALO WAS LEAVING

The Buffalo was leaving
Because he wanted to be gone
But before he took his leave
He just had to say Bi-son

FASHION CYCLES

There was a well-dressed person on a unicycle
And a poorly dressed person on a bicycle
A more contrasting pair you could not desire
And the difference between them was attire

THERE WERE TWO PENCILS

There were two pencils
But you could tell them apart
Quite easily because
One of them looked sharp

MY JOB CHOSE ME

My job chose me, unlike
Ordinary work slaves
I became an undertaker
As my name is Phil Graves

THE AUCTIONEER ON THE DAY

The auctioneer on the day
Was my best friend Domingo
And he says that the Auctions
Are like middle class bingo