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Christmas 2019 # 1
TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 39
Twas the night before Christmas
And alone in the Croft
The owner banged his head and cussed
As he did all too oft
ELF IS AN ACRONYM
ELF is an acronym
And it has them running amuck
Because it’s Santa’s code
For the Elves he’d like to ......
WHAT DOES RUDOLF CALL HIS WIFE?
What does Rudolf call his wife?
Is that the question that I hear?
I would have thought it obvious
That he would call her Deer
THE OFFICE PARTY
The office party
Was relief from the slog
When you spent your time
Hitting the nog
And hanging by the mistletoe
Hoping for a snog
THANKSGIVING COMES BEFORE CHRISTMAS
Thanksgiving comes before Christmas
That is undisputedly customary
But there is one exception to the rule,
The order is reversed in the dictionary
THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE ALPHABET
There is a difference between the Alphabet
And the Christmas one which we know well
And it’s quite logical when you think about it
Because the Christmas Alphabet has no L
FAIRY TALE STATISTIC
Here’s a Statistic
That’s really crappy
6 out of 7 dwarves
Really aren’t Happy
CHRISTMAS SHOPPING
It was Christmas Eve closing time, nearly
Where a last minute shopper, frustrated clearly
Was rummaging through the freezer cabinet
At her nearest out of town super market
Desperately searching for a frozen turkey
And couldn’t find one big enough for her family
Then she saw a young shop assistant pass by
And decided that she would give him a try
“Do these turkeys get any bigger?” she said
Puzzled he replied “No madam, they’re dead.”
MR GLISTEN COMES TO TOWN
The snow has come its falling fast
It’s time to dance about and cheer
Soon it will be time to build a snowman
I build the same one every year
When the snow is lying deep and fresh
I go to the cupboard in my room
Where I get his hat, gloves and scarf
And of course his Birchwood broom
Mum says “don’t you stay out long”
But she knows that I don’t listen
She knows that it takes some time
To build the perfect Mr Glisten
I always start in the same place
And make the body large and round
For his head I roll a smaller ball
Rolling it on the snowy ground
Soon he stands up taller than me
Rising up from the fallen snow
Each year it takes a little longer
As like me each year he grows
Down his front go pebble buttons
From his neck down to the floor
His stick arms wear his gloves
Which don’t really fit him anymore
Then I put on his scarf and hat
His birch broom stands by his side
Marbles to make his eyes shine
And a stick mouth smiling wide
Last the carrot nose goes in place
And I step back and a moment spend
Gazing at the happy snowman face
Then I say “Hello my old friend”
TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 40
Twas the night before Christmas
And all thru the Mill
Nothing was stirring
As the great wheel was still
Only the fire in the hearth moved
As it kept away the chill
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Nice assortment; enjoyed especially CHRISTMAS SHOPPING and MR GLISTEN COMES TO TOWN.
Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor
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