Halloween Tales 2019 # 1

THE COSTUMED ARMY

It’s here again
That day we all dread
When once more
We fear the rise of the dead

But fear not
Our salvation is at hand
We shall be saved
By an unlikely Band

So be assured
When the time is near
Ghosts and ghouls
Will all quake in fear

When night falls
All the undead will cower
Trembling in awe
Come the witching hour

As armed with sacks
Our great costumed army
Will roam the streets
To drive the evil spirits barmy

So to protect yourselves
Keep a proper payment handy
When the costumed army
Come knocking for some candy

JACK O’LANTERN

Jack O’Lantern’s light
Gazing out into the night
In the window there
Staring out a scary stare
With your unsympathetic grin
And glowing orange skin
Are you there to keep the spirits out?
With your jagged leering mouth
Or is your gnarled and toothless grin
There to invite the evil in?

A VAMPIRES TALE

When the sun has long set
At dead of night
I rise from my bed
And go out for a bite

Soon I am flying
On my vampire quest
Its fresh young necks
That I like the best

Though I am in no way
A connoisseur
And I would not turn down
Something more mature

Soon I find a subject
Ripe for the picking
And when I’ve supped
My lips I’m licking

Then I return fulfilled
To my dark domain
And sleep the clock around
Until I can sup again

TIS ON THE NIGHT OF HALLOWEEN

Tis on the night of Halloween
When ghosts and ghouls and things obscene
Arrive when our worlds come together unseen
And the souls and demons can pass between

SEASON OF WITCH

When the werewolf’s howl
And vampires take to the wing
When the witches start to brew
And you hear the banshees sing
When the ghouls are on the move
And the ghosts can all be seen
Then that’s the time you know
That it’s the night of Halloween

TERROR THREAT

I wear a funny wig
My sister has a mask
We are well disguised
To go about our task

To have fun with our friends
Collecting Candy to eat
As we terrorise the neighbours
As we go “trick or treat”

AT THE GHOSTLY HOUSE

At the ghostly house
There is a familiar theme
Because for desert
They always have ice scream

ALL GOOD GHOSTLY KIDS

All good ghostly kids
Are brought up good and true
And they will never spook
Until they’re spooken to

SNIP! SNAP! HALLOWEEN

Snip! Snap! Dragon!
Here comes the flaming bowl
So let mischief take its toll
Just as this Halloween comes
Snatch at the feast of plums
In amongst the Brandy’s flame
It’s our favourite Halloween game
Snip! Snap! Dragon!

I LOST MY VIRGINITY TO A WICCAN GIRL

I lost my virginity to a Wiccan girl
Who was a scrawny little witch
With the reputation for being
A bit of a thorny little *****
She mellowed to me in my bed
And I was left with a horny itch

THE THREE FOOT GHOSTS AND GHOULS

The three foot ghosts and ghouls
Roam the neighbourhood streets
Demanding candy with menaces
When tricks arise after no treats

DARK MONSTERS FROM THE PITS OF HELL

Dark monsters from the pits of hell
Ghosts and ghouls from where they dwell
Witch or warlock cast a withering spell
All answering the ring of the Halloween bell

IT HAPPENS ON THE NIGHT OF HALLOWEEN

It happens on the night
Of Halloween
When the spirits of creatures
Can pass between
And some spooky spooks
Might well be seen.
Some ghouls are good
And others are mean
Some ghosts have substance
And visibly preen
While others glow
Luminescently green
But watch out for witches
That arrive on the scene
For in the blink of an eye
They’ll whip out your spleen

WHEN THE WICCANS WAIL

It is All Hallows Eve
The night of all souls
Samhain Day
When the wiccans wail

At the witching hour
When the Demons walk
Souls will be taken
In the black of night

LITTLE MONSTERS

Little monsters in costumes
Looking for candy treats
Terrorizing the neighbours
All along the street

They prey on young or old
To satisfy their appetites
Treats are handed over
To creatures of the night

With their goody bags
Full of every candy treat
They can’t wait to get home
Before they start to eat

Then when the bags are empty
They realise their mistake
They’ve eaten so much candy
They’ve all got stomach ache

WITCHNAPPED

On her broomstick she swoops
And into her arms she scoops
A poor unsuspecting young man
Because as a witch she can
And carries him off through the night
Then uses him for her delight
In the light of the cauldrons fire
She indulges her every desire

THE LITTLE BEWITCHER

She is a little bewitcher
The little servant of Wicca
Who has ensnared my heart
Which I opposed from the start
I was happy being single
But she has made my senses tingle
And she used her Wiccan ways
Against all resistance raised
It is not some fanciful notion
To blame an exotic potion
Or the casting of a spell
To bewitch me quite so well
Now she bends me too her will
And gently holds me still
Then this little Wiccan miss
Captures my soul with her kiss

MY LITTLE WICKED WITCH AND I

My little wicked witch and I
Love to fly across the night sky
And travel to special places
Where no one knows our faces
Where door with bolt and lock
Ensures, Witch and Warlock
Can scratch their every itch
And a Warlock and a Witch
Can safely enjoy a little sin
Without familiars listening in

DREAM WITCH

There is a witch of whom I’m fond
Who could carry me off beyond
And we’d do magic with my wand

We would quaff her special brew
Fly on a broomstick made for two
And do things naughty witches do

But alas our special tandem flight
Full of wicked and delicious delight
Is but a dream I dream each night

THE WITCHING HOUR

On All Hallows Eve take special care
You may not see them but they are there
And as they mix up their witches brew
They’ll have their witchy eyes on you

AT THE WITCHING HOUR

At the Witching hour
The Zombies walk
The Banshees scream
And the Ravens squawk
The Witches’ fly
The familiar’s talk
The Vampires bite
And the Demons stalk

IT WAS HALLOWEEN AND

It was Halloween and
We were on our way to a party
They were both dressed as vampires
And I was Professor Moriarty

We stopped at the supermarket
But didn’t have any cash
So we thought we’d steal some booze
Then make a dash

The bottles we wanted
Were on the very top of the racks
Which we couldn’t reach
So I had to stand on their backs

Once I had the bottles
Dracula hid them under his cape
And without drawing attention
We casually made our escape

But we were caught on CCTV
A very clear image by all accounts
I was charged with shoplifting
On two counts