yuka's page

That was beautifull!!! I loved it! :*

So much you've said by leaving it unsaid. Nice work.

Thank Farnoosh, 1n50mn14, for your reading and sweet comment.

It's very nice until the very end. Those last five lines are confusing to me. For me if you ended the poem with the line "Who is a rubbish collector" I think you would avoid that last bit of confusion. I really like the image of the little girl with her hands against her ears.

Thank you Virgil, for your like and especially for your precious suggestion, I read twice and thought you're really correct, then I let out the last four lines but still keep the line' She call her mother'. I found with this line as ending probably can enhance the poetical effective. How do you think?

Yes, that's good. May I just touch the grammar up in those last few lines. I think this is what you intended:

Every time when the fireworks crack
She endeavors to control her trembling
Lest it should startle the kind woman
Who is a rubbish collector
She calls to her mother

Yes, I like the way you end it now.

I like that image -- the child, the mother, and the fireworks. It reminds me of when I was young and my parents used to light fireworks in the driveway. I would sit on the tail-gate of our '68 Chevy pick-up and hold my ears and watch them run up and back laughing as the fireworks shout up in the air or burst with loud sounds.