jhonerliz

A first year student of mine is crying always because his classmates tease him for being a gay. Sometimes, his teachers got angry with him for he cried so loud without thinking that he already distracted the class. Of course, if his subject teacher reported to me that matter, I scolded his classmate/s who made him cry. But everytime I did that, his classmate/s just answered me back that it was him who teased his classmates first. So I returned the blame back to him.
One time, during my class with them, I saw him hit one of his claassmates. I scolded him and told him that I am not wondering why many of his classmates made fun with him. He bowed his head and kept silent until I ended my discussion in their class.
Another same scenario happened before they went back home. He approached me again, with so much tears in his eyes, told me that he was teased again by his classmate. But this time, he spoke with more hatred to his classmate because according to him, his classmate also included his mother in the joke which was heard by many of his classmates, so the class laughed so loud.
He said to me, "Ma'am okay lng po kung ako tutuksuhin, wag lang po idamay ang nanay ko. May sakit na nga ang nanay ko, dinadamay pa nila." I really didn't care. I didn't have time to listen to his childish complains .But I made the move that I am always doing, and that is to scold the person who had sinned to him." That was just to end the tumult. And to play fair, I also reprimanded him.
But I was so shocked with the news I got from his classmates this day. They told me that his mother died in cancer yesterday afternoon. I thought that his mother just had an ordinary colds or flu that he was referring to me "may sakit" before. I really feel sorry and guilty up to now.
I now realized why he easily cries every time his classmates tease him. I also realized why, during the last time he was crying to me, he looked so helpless and wanted more comfort from me. But I failed to attend to his needs.
Students know me as a loving and kind teacher. But after what happened this student of mine, I'm not what they are thinking about me. I fee so inconsiderate and insensitive adviser. I really feel guilty.
Being a teacher is not an easy profession. You thought that you're doing the right things but are not. You tried to make good decisions, but it's really hard. You give your best, but it is not enough.
How many times will the heart of the teachers broke into pieces because of the different sitations they will encounter with their students, colleagues, and superiors?
Yes, only God knows. And may God continue giving us, teachers, the courage and strength to continue feeding the hungry minds in spite of the mistakes we made and weaknesses we felt.
To my student, Erwin, I'm really sorry. I love you and your classmtes a lot.