jhonerliz

As the Christmas is fast approaching, I can't understand if I will be happy or sad. I know the real meaning of it and the real purpose of celebrating it. But, I'm just an ordinary individual that has different moods and feelings. And I can't control my feelings with this matter.

It's indeed a happy one when I and my students celebrated our xmas party together. I saw the joys on their faces as we played different games and exchanged our gifts. Yes, I'm happy celebrating Christmas with my students and also with my co-teachers.

But the situation in my school is really different here at home. I can't say that I'm still happy staying here. Life is really boring here. Life is full of mistrust and misunderstanding. Every time I'm here at home, I just want to stay in my bedroom and play my favorite game on my cellphone. I'm sure to myself that I'm not happy at my home anymore. I'm not happy living with my husband and with his mother anymore.

I do love my husband but i don't know what is really happening.

Maybe because of not having a baby for almost 5 years? or for not living separately with his mother? or having the feeling that I am not the priority of my husband? I really don't know.

My students give me a lot of happiness but my husband is not. I'm just trying to be okay in front of him but the truth is I'm not.

Hope that my heart will really fill the love and happiness that I needed and want this Christmas.