View RSS Feed

title

Bumblebees

Rate this Entry
5 Comments
by
Il Penseroso
, 03-09-2008 at 03:34 PM (4431 Views)
Thick black floating orbs,
stretching in swift rotation
the garden routine,
to doze in petalled beauty
having their fill of nectar.

What delight to be
draggling in odorous bliss,
alike to the wind
in a wayfaring circuit
abreast a personal whim.

Do these creatures know
the envy their motion stirs,
or that their feeding
burdens my listless brow
with a penitent emotion?

So unlike their arc
my accustomed position
holds fast to shadow
and the cool interior
of a slumberless dark.
Categories

Comments

  1. 's Avatar
    Lovely poem Il Penseroso, and would I be right in thinking tanka form?
  2. 's Avatar
    Very nice, IP. Full of summer flavors, a wistful yellowy.
  3. Il Penseroso's Avatar
    thanks guys. right on fifth, the first stanza was one I had written for a tanka thread like ours (only elsewhere) that I decided to expand on. there are a few variations, but pretty much in accordance with the tanka syllable count. this was one of the first "complete" poems I wrote, not required for a class and not just fiddling around in games.
  4. 's Avatar
    That's cool how one stanza gave you enough kick to keep it going. That's how much of my own poetry comes into existence. Even a single line is enough to get it going, sometimes. Cool.
  5. kiz_paws's Avatar
    Very sweet, IP! My favorite verse would have to be the third.