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A Broken Friendship

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by
DeathAngel
, 12-14-2007 at 06:07 PM (2802 Views)
I am deeply troubled as a caring friend, and deeply offended.
For the past few weeks I have been tring to help out a friend of mine wo's been going through a huge stage of change, personality, style, everything pretty much, even friends.
Through my efforts, I wrote her a long email expressing how I felt (she was unavailable for a face to face talk or even phone) about this sudden change, it not only affected her past friends who were very close to her, but me as well. I hadn't realized that she was very thick-headed until now.
She mis-interpreted all that I said and simply told me "I don't care"
I went through I don't know how much to bring this to her attention, "your change is NOT for the best."

What can I do now? Nothing, she has pushed me to the edge, to where I cannot reach her, nor do I want to anymore.
The fact that I tried and failed stirs me the most.
Perhaps this was meant to be,
but I feel that my efforts were for nothing. I will not be there for her when she falls down on her knees and cries to whatever diety she praises.
I know I have to let go.
But I feel I have failed myself, and also her.
Her old friends let her go as did she them.
Now I am.
An old friend letting go.
She pushed me so far, that I show true disdain for her,
she's something I don't like, something I don't respect.
For trying to help her, she hung up on me, and started acting pissy towards me. Now being nice is easy, but slapping the truh in one's face is harder.
But I did that anyways.
Yet nothing reached her.
I realize, I care too much sometimes, I no that quite well.
But as a friend, she had not appreciated me as such, she left me in teh blue for so long recently, and yet I still appreciated her.
There was no reward for my actions, just the knowledge that a friend, a close one, who went through so much in the past, dropped me like a ticking time bomb, and when it blew, our friendship did.

questions I'm not sure how to answer, all I know is, I tried...
Are my actions justified, did I push her too much, did I do too much?
What wrong did I commit?
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Comments

  1. kiz_paws's Avatar
    I am sorry to hear of this, Graci. But know in your heart that you tried everything on this green earth to reach your friend. And she has chosen to shut you out. SO: what I would recommend is to give her the space that she is demanding. If you care deeply about her as I think you do, then IF/WHEN she comes down to planet earth, she will regret treating you bad and will try to regain your friendship. But if that doesn't happen, well, at least you gave it your best shot. Good luck to you and hope that your friend sees how valuable a friendship you share. Kizzo
  2. mtpspur's Avatar
    The measure of a friendship is can it stay true during the good and the bad? Sometimes when friends fall out all the well wishing in the world can't reapir the breach. Even worse when the friend seems not to perceive there is a loss to the other which can be galling to the spirit and a blow to the ego. I try (not always well) to preserve an open door policy -- the door is always ajar--knock when you like-- but over the years I will confess that I less and less hunting for reconcilation beyond the hopefully sincere attempt to save the friendship. Be careful of bitterness and the why me complex--most of the time it has NOTHING to do with you and is really the other person's inability to handle their problem and risk further pain, agony etc. And sometimes to be fair there wasn't much of a friendship after all. (This is rare--rule ofthumb--if there is pain the love was real.) Hope this helps. Rich
  3. B-Mental's Avatar
    I think you sound like a good friend. Be patient, and be there for this person, don't judge them...there will probably come a time when this person needs some help. That moment is when you can be there the most. Its not much, but its the best I have to offer. Best Wishes, B