https://www.online-literature.com/forums/blog.php?57173-Eugenie The largest classic literature discussion forum on the Internet. Read Write Teach Share. en Fri, 05 Jun 2026 21:33:07 GMT vBulletin 10 https://www.online-literature.com/forums/images/misc/rss.jpg https://www.online-literature.com/forums/blog.php?57173-Eugenie https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?8275-Too-Tired Mon, 25 May 2009 17:48:45 GMT I have not had a break, a real day to myself since, well I cannot remember. Having so many things going at once that absolutely need tending to,... I have not had a break, a real day to myself since, well I cannot remember.
Having so many things going at once that absolutely need tending to, others who depend on me, it has been virtually impossible.
So I was so thrilled and overcome when my brothers approached me and said that , even though they work so very very hard morning to night at their jobs, they wanted me to have a real day off each week, just for me like they do.
I felt both absolute joy and tearful. To have brothers so giving and kind, it almost hurts my heart. They have had the same sorrows and hardship as me, so it really means something.
So here it was, my first real day and I was supposed to sleep in,Asher said he would be up with the little one and do any work needing done until Petra came home and he would take over.
I awoke at four in the morning and was oblivious that it was my day off until the fog lifted in my brain. Bummer, and I was sad because I knew I would not be able to go back to bed.
But oh well, so I fixed my breakfast and had my cuppa, well two actually. Then I started on dishes, forgetting again it was my day. MY D A Y .
At some point Asher, it was one of his two days off, awoke and flew into the kitchen totally upset that I had fixed my own breakfast and was doing dishes.
'Oh that's alright' I said, I will just relax and do what I want the rest of the day".
He and the little angel got dressed, groomed and headed out the door for breakfast in the town.
Petra left for work and instead of my sending him with a huge lunch and his steel thermos the size of a fridge, he decided to eat across the street from his work each monday from then on.
How wierd.
When the house was silent I wandered around, then came on computer, then wandered.
I groomed and then watched Lord of the Rings, well some of it, we never watch anything of the sort with the little one, I told her when she is twelve and can handle things she may watch it. It gets tiring hearing her ask if she is twelve yet!
Then I prepared to go out. I went for a slow walk in the sun and my arm felt curiously light and ...........empty really, for there was no little person hanging on.
As I strolled past the park I again felt strange, for there are two trees she loves, tall, reaching up into the robin's egg blue sky. Mr.Tree and Mrs. Tree further down and she always runs to them and hugs them(yes a real tree hugger)and tells them how much she loves them.
"Hello Mrs. Tree and Mr. Tree" I found myself whispering.
I shopped and then went to Starbuck's for a drink, a bite and to read and do some writing. I found I could not do much of any of it, I left much before I wanted to and headed back home.
And then I watched teli a bit, well video and then switched it off.
My day is to end at around seven and I noticed I was checking the time often and when at long last it came, seven oclock I whipped out utensils for cooking, started a load of wash, and went into high gear.
Later that night as I crawled into the bed, I found I was so exhausted from my 'off day' that I could barely think a thought.
This is my third time now and I am learning to just relax, actually not think about the time or worry. Just let my body relax.
I found time to dance, really work on my stretching, and write and sketch.
Perhaps, just perhaps, this day off thing might work for me, who knows. :) ]]> Eugenie https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?8275-Too-Tired https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?8252-Goodbye-the-attitude Wed, 20 May 2009 22:18:27 GMT "Come on Syl, get up, I am tired of calling you. I have to leave now, so if you don't get up you'll be late for your important job interview.'
Claire Trenton shook her head at her sister's long red tresses, all matted and twisted from the wild way she had slept.Beautiful,brilliant, engaging-she could melt an igloo with just one of her smiles. Resourceful and chock full of ideas that, if applied could take the twenty year old places. Real places.
But lazy. So lazy it had become a fine art and the family who once held such high hopes for their 'princess' now were silent about university and almost even about Sylvia's getting a job.
"Stop yelling in my ear Claire, you're not on the cheerleading team anymore, you are getting to be a middle aged woman, yuck, I don't envy you. Getting old and soon comes the crow's feet and then the creepy neck.Yuck!
Sylvia turned over and closed her eyes again.
"That's crepey idiot and I am not middle-aged, I am twenty seven.So just, just...oh you are such an repulsive person sometimes. I give up, stay home and jobless until mom and daddy die and leave you buckets of money cause your the 'poor baby' who simply cannot cope with life. Bye.'
Claire grabbed her car keys from the hall table, gave one last glance at her six one slender figure,auburn hair freshly glossed at the hair dresser's and saw her own grey eyes snapping with hurt and anger.'You'll regret your lazy ways one day woman.
'And to think I held that girl in my arms nightly for two years , rocking her to sleep while mom finished her studies in law. Ungrateful little...
The front door closed with a decided bang.

Inside the house all was still and Sylvia had drifted off after shouting back'good riddance,when suddenly her eyes flew open and she sat bolt upright.
'I have to get to The Attitude in ....she glanced at her alarm clock. "In twenty minutes to be exact.
Like a newly fired rocket, the red haired beauty was out of bed and into the bathroom down the richly carpeted hall.Sylvia had her own large and tasteful bathroom but as she did not like to clean it she usually opted to use her mother's.
She was showered, teeth brushed and hair blow dried in five minutes.
It took ten more to dress in her best designer jeans, black with tiny diamonds on the the front pocket, very thin knitted t under a sheer cream colored silk top, almost pirate like in length and style.
Her hair hung loose in glorious red loose ringlets down her back. Taking a few jewelled barrettes she put them in strategic places and then smiled back at her image.
'It's show time.'

The ambience at The Attitude was a combination of New York smart softened with Mediterranean decor and music, and even the waiters had that dark wide eyed look.
Sylvia smiled at the maitre'd and he bowed and purred and was thrilled to talk to her a moment; he was a man who loved the preraphaelite artists and something about this vision , her wide green eyes, her pale face with soft roses in her cheeks, her mass of red hair, inspired him , intoxicated him.
'Ah Miss Trenton, as usual a joy to see you. Did you want your usual place this wonderful morning?
'Yes please Kurt, you are the gentleman's gentleman, as always.'
Though she said the very same thing to the man each time she came to the posh restaurant it never ceased to make his chest swell with importance, and Sylvia always hoped his head would not swell to match, it could be fatal.
The young woman ordered and sat back looking about her.
This was not the greatest time to come, mostly older ladies and gentlemen and students whose parents were rich, taking a break from the college two blocks away came at this hour.
The cool people, the really cool people, the darlings of society usually did not make an appearance until twilight began to steal across the city.
But, it was at this very time two days ago that HE had been sitting just across from her table, deeply engaged in reading The Province.
At first she could only see the impeccable rich suit in the latest Italian style, the long slender hands with two rings in shimmering silver, both on pinky fingers.
When he put the paper down the girl gasped involuntarily. His slender sensitive face was beyond perfect. He was ........HIM.
The man had looked across once only and smiled politely but not without interest.
The next day Sylvia had actually gotten up early by herself though no one noticed, they were gone by eight thirty.
She had hoped, hoped that he would be there .
And he was.
This time Sylvia had boldly offered him the second chair at her table and he had accepted.
At first the talk had been the weather and then the news and finally a little about themselves.
By the time the meal was over the man, Nicolas and the woman , Sylvia, first names only, had agreed to meet again the next morning;the last time before he left for the coast for two weeks.
It was just as Nicolas strode confidently into the dining room now behind a solicitous waiter that Sylvia remembered she has missed the interview for receptionist at an upscale clinic.
"Oh well, who cares, jobs are a dime a dozen. Nicolas is my sole preoccupation now and maybe forever.' She hugged herself in happy anticipation, secure in her beauty and charm and it's already positive effect on her dream man.
'Sorry to be late, but I've had a most annoying morning already and it is only ten.' He sat down heavily, looking a little tired.
"Oh I am so sorry,what happened to upset you?
"Oh nothing of importance, only I wanted to make sure that I had my new receptionist in place before I left this afternoon on my flight.Stupid girl, she didn't even bother to phone and say she was not coming. I sat about for an hour waiting, and now I have to get my manager to advertise again. '
Nicolas smiled and then stopped. 'Why whatever is wrong, are you alright?
Sylvia felt faint and shook her head."Nothing, nothing, er did you know the name of the person,what place is this?
Oh, right you don't know. I am the head of the Palasade Clinic, the one on the edge of town, now where is that slip of paper with the name,it's here in my pocket somewhere.Nicolas felt in the inside of his suit jacket and frowned.
'Actually she has the same first name as you, isn't that amazing? iI'll take a look in my inner pocket in a moment, but first I need a good strong cup of coffee, how about you?
'What , oh sure, say would you order for me, I have to go powder my nose.'
'Certainly.'
Sylvia pressed her lips together then smiled a little too brightly at Nicolas.
She held her breath as she rose shakily and made her way out of the dining room and down the left hall.

Sylvia refused to pull the pillow off her head when her mother called her to dinner that night.
'Look I just want to be alone mom, please' she said in a muffled voice .
'Be alone? child you have been in that bed the whole day. Which means you missed your job interview this morning.'
Mrs. Trenton, old fashioned, plump and no nonsense, shook her head as she moved toward the door.
'That poor employer, I wonder what he must think of you, wasting his time like that.'
'Yah, I wonder too' moaned Sylvia in a whisper. Well,I'll be eating out at a fast food joint from now on' she told herself grimly.' Good by The Attitude.' ]]> Eugenie https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?8252-Goodbye-the-attitude https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?8238-The-hundred-dollars Mon, 18 May 2009 20:00:50 GMT So, I was ecstatically happy when , after going through my accounts and paying all my bills, I had, besides my savings, which I try never to touch, a... So, I was ecstatically happy when , after going through my accounts and paying all my bills, I had, besides my savings, which I try never to touch, a cool hundred dollars.
I had seen this very cool dress, a pale mint green, slender lines and just a hint of dressup with the thinnest fringe of pearls at the neckline. One hundred and six dollars, plus tax.
I could swing that and I would have it just in time for a friend's wedding.
After a million hour soak in the tub until my toes resembled large stone raisens, I rinsed off and put on my favorite jeans, freshly washed and smelling so good, my white silk blouse top over a long long sleeveless t.
Minimal makeup, my waistlong, I think it is that long, hard to tell on my own, auburn hair pulled back into one thick braid at the back and my favorite little white cloche on my head.
Strip off the old polish, paint on the new carefully,trying to avoid a smear.
it looked a trifle cloudy outside, so I threw on my thinnest jacket , the air was getting warmer by the minute.
I have to admit I was really excited about the dress. I don't buy myself much, just go shopping seasonally and I rather buy a few expensive pieces along the conservative line of what's wildly popular than a bunch of cheaper junk.
When I got to the mall I meant to just march right into my favorite shop and get that dress, but the tantalizing aroma of Chinese food was too much for me and I found myself swinging to the left and heading for the kiosk which already had like twenty people lined up.
When it came my turn I ordered the usual number two, sesame chicken, stir fried veggies,rice with just a touch of sauce on top.
It was so good and I sat as far away from the mainstream of shoppers as possible, partly because I did not want anyone I knew to see me, I like to shop alone, and partly because I wanted to finish the book I was devouring and was having trouble putting down.
I lingered over the meal and then with a sigh of happiness got up , threw away my containers and headed for the shop.
It was then I saw a mummy and two little ones just sitting forlornly on a bench. They looked so ragged, tired and worn out and my heart immediately felt there was a sad story here.
I said a little prayer for them,walked past them and went into the store.
It was there, my lovely dress and I grabbed the only remaining one in my size and tried it on. I must say, honestly, it was perfect, and fitted me like a dream. I shivered with joy, wondering how I would fix my hair for the weddng and then I slipped back out of it and headed for the counter.
And there they were, the mummy and children, this time standing at one of the counters where a pretty young woman was talking to them.
Honestly, I did not mean to listen, but the music was so quiet in the store and there were not many people at the registers, people were looking and trying on.
'I tried to get a hold of mum and dad, but they have not arrived back from Vienna'the woman said, her voice soft and low and with a sob in it.
"Well, you can all have my bed, I will sleep on the couch, but I know my roomate will freak , and he can be such a jerk' the clerk said sadly.
Then she added' I know mum and daddy will be back by friday, we have only to put you somewhere tomorrow night and then things will be alright. Why didn't you get accepted into the shelter."
The mummy said something about it being filled to capacity and then for some reason the two looked up and my way and I was terribly embarrased. I studiously looked away and returned to the rack the dress had been on.
I put it back with a sigh, marched over to the sad little group and handing the woman my hundred dollars I said' I hope this might help, forgive me for listening in.'
As I hurried away I heard the woman say "this in unbelievable , what a miracle...and then their voices were lost as I turned the corner and headed back out of the mall, penniless and both happy and sad; poor me.
The next week flew by and on the Saturday I dressed carefully in an only twice worn pale canary yellow chiffon dress . It was so pretty and after putting my hair up and adding my little diamond earrings to finish my look, my sister looked in and studied me critically.
'Yah you look pretty and all that , but honestly Eugenie, you could think ahead a little bit It wouldn't have hurt you to show up to the wedding in something new. I mean, everyone else is wearing something new.
But of course you always have to be Miss do her own thing."
I felt rather like smacking Gabriella, but oh well, she didn't know and would not care to know, she isn't that kind of girl.
Almost three months later I met for the first time, formally the mummy and her little ones and she remembered my face and thanked me.
And she said she was doing well, had a great job. We started going out to coffee and talking about this and that.
And then yesterday the door bell rang that there was a delivery guy. He had a box for me,and I signed for it.
What do you think was inside, a dress, my size and the same one I had tried on. Julie, that is her name, has a great memory and remembered I was holding the dress.
I am a happy camper and my sister is amazed I got off my duff and wore something new between seasons.
I love my sister, I love my sister, I love........ ]]> Eugenie https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?8238-The-hundred-dollars https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?8215-A-Little-Lost Thu, 14 May 2009 01:13:37 GMT The air was charged with the promise of something, what I don't know; and also a sigh of something sorrowful,sad , perhaps the rain is merely the collective tears of the people in this tiny place.
Whatever the truth was, it was bothering me right now. I dressed in my trenchcoat, it was not enough but I didn't care.
After making sure I had left nothing on to start a fire, (I always worry about things like that)I locked up and headed toward the edge of the village where the tall grasses are home to several families of tiny quail and a strange sort of bird that makes a shrieking noise at night. What can they be and why do they do that? I always wonder and I always fail to look them up on Google to quench the hunger I have to know.
At the corner of the last street before the pavement retreats and a bike path and dirt road take over I stop and ponder what to do. Go on the way I usually do and end up at a miniscule Starbucks, comfortable and a good place to sit and sip and read-I always order Earl Grey tea,or turn left and wander down the dirt path.
I stand so long at the corner I begin to be aware of others looking at me. I want to do something, think something, but I don't know what.
It is one of those strange days when fatigue, hormones or something I ate conspire to cause a complete deadness inside, a creeping wave of fear and overwhelming anxiety.
Life suddenly makes no sense. I mean here we are on a ball stuck in space, hanging on.........nothing. And we just sort of go round and round and round .
And we spin our wheels and we go this and that and buy this and that and one day it is over.
And I feel a little lost and small and alone.
Then I remember a certain sunny day when I was very small and was in a church basement and about to leave a room.
There on the wall was a cartoon picture of the Lord Jesus and he was riding a young donkey. People were shouting 'Hosannah in the highest.'
His eyes, even though they were just etched in black ink, even then they were so gentle and good and kind. And at that moment as a child, when I fixed my own eyes on those I felt instantly at peace.
And just then, standing there on the corner I thought of Him, and all the things he has seen me through, all the fears, and worries, all theillnesses and lonliness.
And I lifted my head and I was not thinking of me anymore. I still felt a little lost but I knew I could run into his arms and be safe and things didn't have to always make sense to my brain.
He and the Father and the Holy Spirit are the Master builder. That is all I need to know.

When I came back from that walk, cheeks pink from the mournful wind, the soft spray of rain upon my skin, I was quiet and thoughtful; perhaps some of the feelings still nagged at mymind but I was alright with that.
"He's got the whole world in HIs hand" I thought and it somehow made me smile. ]]> Eugenie https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?8215-A-Little-Lost