https://www.online-literature.com/forums/blog.php?35805-title The largest classic literature discussion forum on the Internet. Read Write Teach Share. en Fri, 05 Jun 2026 21:34:38 GMT vBulletin 10 https://www.online-literature.com/forums/images/misc/rss.jpg https://www.online-literature.com/forums/blog.php?35805-title https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?7876-A-New-Life Thu, 02 Apr 2009 14:20:52 GMT I've been so busy this past year that I've felt like I haven't had a life. I changed stores last spring and have been so busy there, and my mother-in-law has needed so much of our attention that we really haven't had time of ourselves. Motherhubbard helped us out so much the past few months by taking care of her three days a week. I don't know what we would have done if she hadn't been able to help us after the last caregiver had to quit. My house seems to have fallen apart, too. I haven't had time or the "want to" to get anything done. But times, they are achanging!
My m-i-l is no longer living with us. After several weeks of decent, she went into the hospital. It was decided that she would not come back to my house from there but will have a bed in a skilled facility. She's still in the hospital but will be moved as soon as a bed comes open. I think it's been a hard decision for Poppy, but it was one he had to make. After 8 1/2 years, she was too much for us to care for. So, I feel like I'm starting a new life.
Poppy and I actually have had dinner at the same table and watched a television show together. We sat together and had coffee. He will be able to go fishing without worrrying about me or her whenever he wants. He has started working all 5 days again. I think he is as relieved as the rest of us are. Motherhubbard has been able to get her college assignments caught up and is planning her garden. Our grandson comes home and gets right on his homework. One more great thing is we got a kitten! He is about 9 weeks old and is named Radar. We all love cats but haven't been allowed to have one for 8 1/2 years so it's so wonderful to watch him scamper around and attack our feet. Well, I'm out of pratice and have rambled on and if anyone is reading this, I'll get back in the swing of thing and my blog will improve. For now, I feel like life is wonderful again. bye. ]]> Granny5 https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?7876-A-New-Life https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?6610-If-It-Weren-t-For-Bad-Luck Tue, 21 Oct 2008 00:57:10 GMT I finally find time to log onto LitNet and I’m all excited about seeing everyone and getting to catch up on all the blogs and everything and then it... I finally find time to log onto LitNet and I’m all excited about seeing everyone and getting to catch up on all the blogs and everything and then it hits the fan…for lack of a better phrase. You know the old saying, “if it weren’t for bad luck I’d have no luck at all”? Well, I was at work this past Thursday morning and we were running around like crazy folks getting ready for the dreaded visit from the “Home Office”. We were all straightening up things and building displays and trying to make things look like we knew what we were doing. The management team takes a break at 9:15 am and meet for breakfast at Mcmart (McDonalds in Walmart) So I’m trying to eat an Egg McMuffin, taking phone calls, writing notes of what I have to get done, explaining what I have already gotten done and having my rear chewed...just the usual stuff at meetings. Anyway, I take about 10 mins. to eat and start running again to get stuff done. About 15 mins. after I leave McMart, I start having weird pains under my left rib cage. I think it's just from eating so fast so I take a acid reducer and keep going. By my lunch time, about noon, it's worse and not easing up so I thought I'd go home for my lunch break and see Poppy and then everything will be ok....he makes most things ok. But after about 30 mins. It is even worse...or I've frightened myself into thinking it's worse. So Poppy insists I go have it checked out. Well the doctors office say they won't see me because it's a “medical emergency” and send me to the E.R. I'm thinking that I'll go to the E.R., they'll give me something for indigestion and send me back to work. I end up spending the weekend in ICU!!! Here I was, hooked up to a bunch of crazy machines, nurses in and out checking on me constantly, laying in a bed that's uncomfortably, and my bottom hurting because I'm used to being on my feet 10-14 hours a day running around a 181,000 sq. ft. store, lifting heavy freight and working my rear end off! I can't believe it. I don't feel like I'm sick, I don't look sick, I actually feel pretty good after I have a nasty tasting G.I.cocktail just in case it's indigestion. I beg to be allowed to go home. I was told that since I have 7 of the 8 risk factors for heart problems the doctors won't let me go and if I leave against medical advise, my insurance won't cover the bill. So I'm stuck. Our daughter the nurse works ICU so I was getting lots of attention, which was driving me crazy. But I did have cable and a very nice room with WiFi....Poppy wouldn't bring the lap top because it might be too much stress. So I watched tv and got my blood pressure checked and my pee measured. The whole weekend! I had to do a stress test, which I passed with flying colors. I had to have pictures of my heart taken twice and each time it took 30 minutes of laying on a 15 inch wide board and not moving while some big machine was over my head. (actually not too bad because I fell asleep both times.) Any way, I got to come home late Sunday afternoon. No high blood pressure, no heart problems. It was crazy. I knew I wasn't having a heart attack but the doctors and nurses just kept telling me I was in denial. I wasn't in denial, I just had indigestion! This whole thing will probably cost $50,000 and IF I ever do have a problem with my heart, they'll just think I'm gassy! Now I have to visit my family doctor to get a final release to go back to work....and he was booked solid today so I have to wait until tomorrow. I've been a lot sicker than I have been this weekend and not even gone to the doctor. From now on, I'm going to make sure I have some Tums with me where ever I go. I hope everyone else had a great weekend. ]]> Granny5 https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?6610-If-It-Weren-t-For-Bad-Luck https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?6547-She-s-Backkkkkkk Mon, 13 Oct 2008 14:46:16 GMT Hi everyone. I've been gone a while...well, since I started a new job in April or May..whenever. Seems like all I do is work and work and sleep every now and then. New programs and trying to correct problems I received with my new position. I'm getting there. Problem is, when you work hard and do a pretty good job, more is expected. (I've been here before and should have known all this!)
Plus my computer got the flu and Poppy has had to let me use his laptop until mine is out of the hospital. That's what I get for letting my son download crap! I've really missed being on LitNet and visiting with everyone. I've missed making up bad poems and silly stories. I hope to get some time to try again. But I've really missed reading some of the great stories you guys post. I have a lot of catching up to do now. I hope to hear from everyone soon.
Glad to be back. ]]> Granny5 https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?6547-She-s-Backkkkkkk https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?5132-Granny5-s-Blog Sat, 12 Apr 2008 01:35:54 GMT Ok, when I was about 14 my two cousins from Michigan and I were walking home from the drug store talking about the boys we had seen there. One of my... Ok, when I was about 14 my two cousins from Michigan and I were walking home from the drug store talking about the boys we had seen there. One of my cousins had a real crush on one of them but thought he ran around with too many girls. I can’t remember what she was saying but she had me laughing so hard that I peed my cutoffs while walking down the street. My other cousin thought it was so funny that she peed her pants just from laughing at me. We were all laughing so hard when we got home that the first cousin
was running to get to the bathroom. My Mom thought we had lost our minds.
To tell the truth, I wasn’t really embarrassed because it was just too funny. ]]> Granny5 https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?5132-Granny5-s-Blog https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?5014-Granny5-s-Blog Mon, 31 Mar 2008 05:11:42 GMT Four and a half hours of pouring rain and crazy people driving 75 when you can’t see 20 feet in front of you and I’m finally here. I have never... Four and a half hours of pouring rain and crazy people driving 75
when you can’t see 20 feet in front of you and I’m finally here.
I have never been on a toll road before but I was today. The Cherokee
Turnpike cost $2.25. I got in the short line, cash only and no receipt
and had to dig out quarters. Thank goodness I had enough. Also, I
seem to be in The Cherokee Nations, not Oklahoma. The sign when
I left Arkansas said Welcome to the Cherokee Nation, not You Are
Now Entering Oklahoma. I didn’t know where the heck I was. LOL
Anyway, the turnpike is awesome, or it would be if it hadn’t been
raining buckets. The speed limit is 75 with a min. of 50. Now it the speed
limit was 55 or 60, I wouldn’t have had a problem going75 on dry pavement.
But I had a hard time keeping above 50 even when it wasn’t raining so
hard. I’d be going alone feeling like I was making good time when
I’d look at the speedometer and I’d be doing 52. I turned into a granny
just by crossing the state line. I got to the hotel, which is very nice, and
couldn’t prove who I was. The kid at the front desk accepted my library
card and a couple of paycheck stubs as id. Security. But, the best thing
so far is I have no room mate!!! Yeah. I’ve got a very nice suite all to
myself and don’t have to worry about noise or snoring (mine or hers)
or what to watch on tv. I can watch anything I want. I can leave the lights
on all night if I want to or turn them all off when I want. I think my luck
may be changing. Still worried about getting stopped though. ]]> Granny5 https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?5014-Granny5-s-Blog https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?5002-Granny5-s-Blog Sun, 30 Mar 2008 15:54:44 GMT What a way to start my trip. I have everything ready and most of it packed. I went shopping yesterday and got everything I needed that I was low on... What a way to start my trip. I have everything ready and most of it packed. I went shopping yesterday and got everything I needed that I was low on or didn’t have. I got my car cleaned out and ready for an oil change. What I don’t have is my bank debit card and my driver’s license. I’ve lost them somewhere while shopping. At least that’s where I think I lost it. The last time I remember having it was when I was going into Penny’s and I put it in my coat pocket so I wouldn’t have to carry my purse in while trying on shoes. I made sure that my pocket was zipped so it wouldn’t fall out. I then stopped in at Goody’s to buy some trouser socks. I don’t remember if I took my money to pay for the socks out of my jeans pocket or the wallet. After I got home, I carried everything into the house then went to my car to get all the trash I had collected from driving back and forth to work for a week. So now I have to drive to Oklahoma without driver’s license. I know that I will get stopped. I don’t usually get stopped by a law officer, but if I don’t have my D.L., I’ll get stopped for sure. And the wallet had the money I have saved to go to the casino on. Now I won’t be able to go because I won’t have my debit card to gamble with Dan’s money.
It has rain and thunder-stormed all night here. Weather predictions are for more storms and rain all the way to Tulsa. So, I’ll be headed out toward Tulsa, Ok in a couple of hours with no driver’s license and no identification, no bank card, and no gambling money. I don’t know if I can check into my room without a picture I.D. Oh well, my luck seems to be holding. I bet it’s going to be a wonderful 8 weeks! ]]> Granny5 https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?5002-Granny5-s-Blog https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?4988-Granny5-s-Blog Sat, 29 Mar 2008 08:08:22 GMT I hope everyone in the United States will go to the link and watch the video. It's pretty darn important. I don't hear much about this any longer and it scares me that I don't. Please, think about what this means. Thanks.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540...50357#15214437 ]]> Granny5 https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?4988-Granny5-s-Blog https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?4948-Granny5-s-Blog Tue, 25 Mar 2008 17:29:00 GMT So I have 5 days before I have to go to Oklahoma to learn how to work at Wal-Mart. I'll be working all but one of those nights. I don’t know if I can learn that; I’ve been with the company for almost 10 years and been in management for 8 of those years. Who knows, maybe I’ve been doing it wrong all along. I’m looking forward to going. I’ll travel on Sundays, school Monday through Thursday, travel back home on Fridays, then start all over on Sundays. I’ll have a hotel/motel room while I’m there. The only drawback is I’ll probably have a room mate. I don’t look forward to living with someone I’ve never meet five nights a week. I just hope it’s someone who isn’t 18 years old and never been away from home before. They tend to get a little wild. And I hope it’s not some religious freak…not that I am not religious but I’m not a freak and keep my religion to myself. I spent one very long week at a meeting with someone who worked very hard to convert me from my religion to theirs. We were both Christians but she felt her belief was right and I was going to hell if she didn’t save me. I finally asked for my own room and ended up paying for it myself for two nights. I checked with the store I’ll be at here in my hometown and was told that there were two positions open. I’ll either have the grocery/consumables or I’ll end up on overnights again. I’ve worked overnight for almost 2 years now and was hoping to work days but whatever. I dread the move to this store. It’s not as friendly and doesn’t feel so much like family. Maybe I can make it better. Or maybe I can swim upstream in a swift current. Everything depends on the General Store Manager and that’s not something one person can change. I have always been taught customer service is number one in being successful in retail, and number two is customer service. There is so much emphasis put on compliance now days that the customer has gotten lost in the scheme of things. This number must match what the company wants it to match; scheduling must match what the company wants instead of what the store needs to take care of the customer flow; the number of sales clerks must match what the company thinks the store needs instead of what the store needs to take care of the customers…it never ends. Managers aren’t merchants any more; they are number crunchers and administrators. I wonder what Sam Walton would think of it all. Anyway, I’m looking forward to going to school and having a few nights of quiet ever week. I just dread the room mate thing. ]]> Granny5 https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?4948-Granny5-s-Blog https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?4894-Granny5-s-Blog Thu, 20 Mar 2008 20:32:14 GMT The past three days have been pretty wet ones in the Ozarks. We received rain for three days and nights totaling only about 5 inches here. There are... The past three days have been pretty wet ones in the Ozarks. We received rain for three days and nights totaling only about 5 inches here. There are a lot of roads closed due to flooding and/or being washed out by the water. On Tuesday night, I had to take back roads to the back road that Motherhubbard lives on because we couldn’t cross the low water bridge on the normal route we take. The local football field and tennis courts were flooded as well as the parking lot and park. These are located beside the creek that runs through our downtown area. In the Northwestern section of Arkansas flooding was a minor problem. Interstate 44 that runs through Missouri has sections closed due to flooding. This is a major route of travel across the country. In Branson, Mo, where I work, we received only 6 inches. That’s enough to cause evacuations of the low lying areas around the lakes. Only 20 miles north of Branson they received that much rain in about three hours. (You may have seen reports from Ozark, Mo on the national news.) Now that the rain has stopped, flooding becomes even a greater problem for the Southeastern part of Missouri and the Northeastern and Eastern parts of Arkansas. You might have seen reports of the flooding from Popular Bluff, Mo today. The parts of the states known as the Bootheel are in the Delta and all the rain that was received by the hills has to go somewhere. Within 50 miles of where I live there are five or six man made lakes that are filled right now. To keep them from flooding, the Army Corp of Engineers will open the flood gates and allow water to run into the rivers. They try to do this without causing more flooding downstream, but it almost never works. Every river heading toward the Mississippi (East, Southeast from us) will be flooded in the next few days and we are likely to see some major flooding in these areas. We’ve seen this happen several times since we’ve lived in the Ozarks and I remember the flood warnings when I was growing up in the Delta region. This time of the year isn’t so bad, but during the spring and summer, when crops are in the ground, this much rain can be devastating for the farmers. The land is very flat over there so every river, small or large, has a high levy on both sides. In the flat lands water flows pretty slowly so it takes a lot longer there than it does here to run downstream. I think that in the next week or so, we’ll hear about flood conditions further south, along the Mississippi and down toward New Orleans.

In my town there hasn’t been a major flood since 1961 when the downtown area was flooded from Crooked Creek overflowing the banks. Here is a link to the history of that flood: http://www.bchrs.org/collections/1961flood/index.html ]]> Granny5 https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?4894-Granny5-s-Blog https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?4889-Granny5-s-Blog Thu, 20 Mar 2008 11:14:49 GMT Well, I have some news. I have received a promotion at Wally World. I will be leaving the store I work at in Branson, Mo and moving to the store in... Well, I have some news. I have received a promotion at Wally World. I will be leaving the store I work at in Branson, Mo and moving to the store in my town. I will receive a raise of a little over $9,000 a year and my bonus will be based on a higher percentage of sales/profit than it is now. Plus, it will take me about 5 minutes to get to work instead of the 45 minutes I drive one way now. That will save me $50+ a week in gas expense not to mention the wear and tear on my car. Also, I won’t be working overnight except on occasion. I am hopeful that this change will give me more time to spend with the kids and grandkids and Poppy. I will be obligated to stay at the store for a year.
I have to go back to Wal-Mart University for a few weeks and they are sending me to Oklahoma instead of a closer school they have in Springfield, Mo. I don’t know why they are doing this but whatever. I’ll be able to drive home on weekends and the company will pay the expenses for the trips. It’s only about 150 miles from here.
I am glad for the increase in pay but I dread coming back to this store. It’s not the same as where I am now. The Branson store is a small store and more of a family. Everyone, well most folks, gets along well and everyone works as a team, well most of the time. I feel bad because I will be leaving in the middle of a major remodel of our store and inventory is coming up in May. Inventory is a lot of detail work that I tend to do well. I believe they will survive without me, but I hate to leave them with so much going on.
The store I am going to is a Supercenter. I worked there for seven years before I transferred to Branson so I will know most folks here. I know what to expect from my bosses, too. Expectations are higher and the sense of urgency more pronounced. Details are important to the store manager. The difference in sales isn’t that much between the two stores and I believe it’s because of the focus on the customers at Branson. Most importantly, there won’t be any poem nights or anything like that at the new store.
At every meeting we have at Branson, I always tell the associates to “Give peace a chance” or “come on people now, smile on your brother, everybody get together and try to love one another” or something that makes them laugh. When it’s not busy, I get all the cashiers to sings Blue Suede Shoes or I’m a Believer or There’s a Hold in the Bottom of the Sea. The Branson customers love it. I don’t think such things will fly here. Instead of three days off a week I’ll only have two, but the work days won’t be as long. I’ve had so much fun working in Branson. I hope I can find a way to make it fun here too. If not, that’s ok. I can do anything for a year. ]]> Granny5 https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?4889-Granny5-s-Blog https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?4838-Granny5-s-Blog Thu, 13 Mar 2008 15:46:21 GMT Sarah, my second child, is the type of person who has friends forever. Where Motherhubbard and I have few long term friends that we keep in contact... Sarah, my second child, is the type of person who has friends forever. Where Motherhubbard and I have few long term friends that we keep in contact with and a few very close friends, Sarah is in touch with everyone she ever befriended.
Sarah has a friend she went through school with and they are still pretty good friends. Their sons play soccer together and they talk on the phone almost everyday. But my daughter is also very close to this friend’s parents. When she was growing up she spent a lot of time at their house. When she was older she house sat any time they were out of town. They had two dogs that she took care of when they were away. They always paid her very well for taking care of the dogs and house, which caused some tension between Sarah and their daughter because when they were grown, they didn’t offer the job to their daughter. They felt that Sarah would take better care with their things.

Sarah is a nurse at our local hospital and Dick, the dad, is a patient there. Sarah really loves Dick and visits him before and after her shift. She brings him food that he can’t get at the hospital and sits with him just to talk. She told me yesterday that she felt like she should spend time with him because she hadn’t seen his wife or daughter up there in several days. She has been pretty worried because she knows that Dick is pretty sick, although she hasn’t told me what is wrong with him.

I should say that Dick is a very successful business man who retired a couple of years ago as CEO of a very large international business. He is considered well off for our area. His wife was working in an airport lounge when he met her during his travels on business. He divorced his first wife and married her, bought her some new teeth and boobs and moved her to our town. She never wanted for anything. If she could buy something locally or order it from a more expensive place, she ordered it. If it didn’t have a “name” attached, she didn’t want it. If one expensive toy was good for her child, then three would be better. Now, I guess it may seem like I am putting her down, but she would tell you the same thing. She has told me on several occasions, “What’s the use of having money if you don’t make sure everyone knows you’ve got it?”

This morning I received a call from the mother. She was asking for Sarah and she was laughing. She told me she had something funny to tell Sarah that her husband had said about Sarah this morning. Then as an aside, she told me that the doctor had told her this morning that Dick has lung cancer that has spread to his bones and that he will probably live for only six months. She was laughing when she told me this news. She also said that they would give him some radiation to help ease some of his pain, but that was all they could do for him. She never stopped chuckling the whole time we were on the phone. I told her Sarah wasn’t home, that she was at work but she told me that she had checked the desk and Sarah wasn’t at work today. I told her to check Dick’s room because she stopped in there everyday before her shift. She said, “Well, I’ll be damn. I guess I’ll have to go back up there.” I don’t know what to think about this. I know that everyone reacts differently to such news, but this was just off the charts.

Sarah will be heartbroken, even though I suspect that she already knew about the cancer. She will spend even more time with Dick because she will not want him to be alone. ]]> Granny5 https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?4838-Granny5-s-Blog https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?4783-Granny5-s-Blog Fri, 07 Mar 2008 09:24:39 GMT My Mother was the youngest in a family of nine children. The first child, a boy, died shortly after his birth. In this family there were three girls... My Mother was the youngest in a family of nine children. The first child, a boy, died shortly after his birth. In this family there were three girls and five boys who lived to adulthood. Born just before my Mother were twin boys. They were always called “the Twins”. I didn’t realize that they had names until I was about 5 years old. I never knew one of the twins because he was killed in the Korean War but there were pictures of him and his brother in uniform on the wall in the living room. These pictures were my Granny’s prize possessions. The pictures were always there until my Granny died.

Both my Uncles were in the Army during the Korean War. Eugene, the oldest by five minutes, and Hal looked very handsome in their pictures. They looked almost just alike except Hal, the one who was lost, looked angelic while Gene looked angry. My Mother always said that Gene had been angry since Hal was killed.

Gene and Hal had always been very close and had done almost everything together. When they were grown, they had both moved from Arkansas to Illinois to find work in the factories there. They had both gone to work for Caterpillar and were making good money, enough to send their Mother a little every week. Hal was the more settled of the twins. He had met a beautiful girl and was planning to marry her as soon as his tour of duty was up. Gene was more of a partier. He had not settled on a wife or even a serious girlfriend. He liked fast cars and, instead of saving his money like Hal, he bought the fastest and best car he could afford.

They had both been drafted into the Army on the same day. The twins had gone to boot camp together and were shipped out to Korea at the same time, but they were sent to different camps once they arrived. This was the first time in their lives that they had been separated. Gene worked damn hard to get a transfer to be with Hal. It took him months, but his transfer finally came through and he wrote his Mother that he was on his way to Hal’s camp on the DMZ. He was going to surprise Hal upon his arrival. He arrived on July 3, 1950.

Hal wasn’t a hero other than he was a soldier like many others through the years that fought where ever and when ever the Army said he needed to fight. At 22, he was alone in the middle of a war thousands of miles away from his home. According to his commanding officer, he did want he was told and he was a good soldier. When the attack came, he fought just like everyone else who was there, he just wasn’t as lucky as some. Hal was hit in the leg by flying debris from a grenade. The artery in his leg was severed and he had bleed to death before the medics could get to him. He died on July 3, 1950.

Gene was devastated when he learned that Hal had been killed just hours before he arrived at camp. For the rest of his life, he believed that, if he had gotten there a day sooner, just a few hours sooner, he could have been able to protected Hal, save his somehow, or maybe he would have been the one who was killed by the flying metal. Gene brought Hal’s body home to Arkansas and stayed by it the entire time it lay in state at the funeral home. He stood at attention by the coffin all during the funeral service and left only after the grave had been covered. Then he returned to Korea to avenge Hal’s death.

My Granny said that Gene was never the same man he had been when Hal was alive. Gene became an angry man, untrusting of anyone, and just out right mean. I remember that he would come to visit when I was very young and he would stare at the pictures on Granny’s wall. I asked him one time about Hal and he became very angry with me. My Mother told me to never ask again. Gene always scared me. He seemed like he would explode, even in happy times, at any minute; like there was anger rippling just below the surface. Survivor’s guilt stayed with him and he never recovered from the loss of his brother. In a way, I believe that Gene was lost the same day that Hal was. ]]> Granny5 https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?4783-Granny5-s-Blog https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?4765-Granny5-s-Blog Wed, 05 Mar 2008 19:55:29 GMT I don’t have much to blog about today. I’ve been working on a couple of stories to type up for my great grandkids in case I’m not available when they... I don’t have much to blog about today. I’ve been working on a couple of stories to type up for my great grandkids in case I’m not available when they get here. (I hope they don’t get here until after college graduation!) I should be doing laundry and housework, but instead I thought I’d pass on some information I received in an email from a friend. Maybe someone else will see the humor in it, too.

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months, and 6 days, you would have
produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(35 years of raising kids, I could have heated a whole pot)

If you broke wind consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas
would be produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(my hubby must be a weapon of mass destruction!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps to squirt
blood 30 feet.
(OH MY GOSH!)

A pig’s orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

A cockroach can live nine days without its head
Before it starves to death.
(Creepy. But I’m still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
(I do this at work a lot.)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached
to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male’s head off.
(Honey, I’m home. What the….?!)

A flea can jump 350 times its body length. It’s like a human jumping
the length of a football field.
(30 minutes…lucky pig! Can you imagine?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life…quality over quantity.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmm…makes one think.)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(Do you split the difference if you are ambidextrous?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(Okay, this would be a good thing.)

A cat’s urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure this one out.)

An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like this.)

Starfish have no brains.
(I know some people like this, too.)

Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch to right-handed, they will live longer.)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about the pig?)

Have I made you smile at least once? Maybe even chuckle a little?
I hope so. Have a good day. ]]> Granny5 https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?4765-Granny5-s-Blog https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?4704-Granny5-s-Blog Wed, 27 Feb 2008 14:41:03 GMT This is something I really shouldn’t tell, but it’s so funny. The Valentine’s candy went on sale, 75% off everything, so I bought several boxes of... This is something I really shouldn’t tell, but it’s so funny.
The Valentine’s candy went on sale, 75% off everything, so I bought several boxes of Russell Stover’s little heart boxes with three pieces in each one for only 25 cents each.Each box has a chocolate cream piece, a caramel piece, and a chocolate coconut piece.
Well, it appears that Poppy decided to eat some while I was at work the other night but didn’t finish the box and fell asleep. I work overnight and he works during the day. During the four days a week I work we sleep at different times. So when I get ready to go to sleep yesterday morning, I find a mess in the bed. There is brown “stuff” all over the bottom sheet and there is little pieces of something in it. I don’t want to touch the sheets so I get the disposable gloves and start stripping the bed, complaining the whole time that he had an accident and didn’t bother to clean it up. I’m also worried because nothing like this has ever happened and I’m worried that he has developed some kind of poop problem.
I change the sheets and take the mattress pad off and get them into the washer with bleach and soap, spray the mattress down with Lysol. I only have one mattress cover so I have to wait until it’s dry to remake the bed, all the time worrying and complaining to myself. I finally get to sleep, but don’t sleep very well because of worry. When he comes home, I broach the subject. I figure that I will find out if I should be worried abut him and, if not, I’ll ***** at him about leaving such a nasty mess for me to deal with. He thinks I’ve lost my mind. He swears that he didn’t have any kind of accident. Well, I go looking for the pajama bottoms he had worn the night before and there it is; chocolate coconut candy mixed with chocolate cream with the little paper cup stuck in it. He had eaten the caramel piece and hadn’t replaced the lid on the box properly. He laid on the chocolate coconut and the chocolate cream pieces. But it did not look like candy! I didn’t smell anything when I was cleaning it up, but I was trying to avoid smelling anything. I really thought that he had had an accident of some kind in our bed. He got up, took his shower, and didn’t even notice the mess on his pj’s or the bed. (At least that’s his story.) I was very relieved because I was getting ready to call the home and get him a room. ]]> Granny5 https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?4704-Granny5-s-Blog https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?4664-Granny5-s-Blog Fri, 22 Feb 2008 12:01:05 GMT (MH, let me know if I've left anything out.)

In 1982 we became the proud parents of our third child, our beautiful son John. We also became the proud parents of a beautiful Siamese cat we named Hank Williams, Jr. Hank was a beautiful chocolate point He wasn’t the skinny, standoffish Siamese you often see but a large, loving member of our family who grew up with our son. Now this was during the time I was a stay at home mom, raising our children, and being poor.

John and Hank were best friends and played together like two brothers. They were more like a boy and his dog than a boy and his cat. When they were old enough to run and play outside, Hank and John would climb trees and build forts in the back yard. They had an inside game that drove me crazy; Hank would hide under a chair or the bed and wait for John to come by. Then he’d pounce on John and hold on for dear life as John ran through the house yelling. Then they would do it all over again

When Hank was ready for loving, you could hear him coming from the other end of the house. He had the loudest purr I’ve ever heard. When he started purring, someone had better be ready to hold and rub him because was an insistent cat. My former sister-in-law loved cats. She always had two or three cats of her own but really loved Hank. But I don’t think Hank really like her much. Anytime she was around Hank would start his purring and jump up into her lap. She loved it. He would knead around like he was getting comfortable, purring loudly all the while, then turn his tail up and break the worse wind right in her face! It was so stinking funny that everyone would kind of watch for Hank to jump into her lap so we could watch him play his trick on her. She fell for it every time he did it, too.

The week before Christmas, when Hank and John were 4 years old, we took a trip to see Dan’s mother for the weekend. My brother was living here at the time so we asked him to make sure he went to our house and checked on Hank everyday. (Dan’s mother hates cats so we couldn’t take Hank with us.) When we came home three days later, I found every throw pillow I owned on the floor with a nice pile of cat poop on it. He had pooped on each one! I was so angry with my brother for not making sure Hank’s litter box was clean because Hank just wouldn’t use a dirty litter box. But checking the box, I found it perfectly clean and his food and water bowls full. My brother had just gone in the back door and checked the box and bowls, petted Hank, then left. He had never gone into the living room or den.

I was angry with Hank now. I figured he was mad because he didn’t get to go with us.
So I threw him outside for a while and started throwing away throw pillows. As I was cleaning, I heard Hank meowing so I went to the door to let him back in. It had started sleeting and I found Hank under a cedar bush beside the front sidewalk covered with sleet. I thought he was just upset because he had gotten in trouble, but when I picked him up, I knew something was wrong. His belly was swollen. I was worried that he had gotten into some kind of poison.

After calling the Vet and with the worse ice storm of the season upon us, Dan and I start to the animal clinic with Hank Williams, Jr. It was so icy that it took us almost thirty minutes to drive the 5 miles to the Vet’s. After examining Hank, the Vet told us that he had bladder stones from not eating enough food with ash in it. Apparently this is a common problem with Siamese cats. But the Vet told us not to worry, he could save Hank. He would just have to be in the hospital a couple of days. We were very relieved. We couldn’t afford a large vet bill, but we couldn’t afford to not take care of Hank; he was like one of our kids. So we left Hank at the hospital and drove home in the ice storm trying to figure which bill we’d put off so we could pay for Hank’s treatment.

Three days later the Vet called and said that Hank was well and we could come and pick him up. When we arrived, he seemed great except for his front paws. They had shaved his little front legs in order to insert iv’s to treat him. The Vet said that Hank should be alright now and sold us some special cat food that cost a dollar a can for him. He said that Hank would need to eat this food from now on. Thank goodness for credit cards! On the way home on the icy roads, Hank did something he had never done before; he peed on the leather seat of the car. We were so excited! This meant that his bladder stones were gone and he could pee again. That car held Hank’s pee smell for months!

Everyone was so thrilled to have Hank home for Christmas. John had been having trouble sleeping because of worry over Hank, but now they would sleep together and wait for Santa. We made sure Hank’s food bowl was full of $1 a can cat food and that his litter box had fresh litter. But Hank refused to eat the food. Hank had always been partial to hard cat food. Over the years we had tried all kinds of food for him, canned and moist pouch, but he had always refused to eat it. Well, we knew that he had to eat this canned food so we refused to give him the dry food that was in the cupboard. Hank would meow at the cupboard door knowing that that is where we kept it. We tried a can of tuna, but he refused it, too. We finally gave up and gave him ½ cup of dry food with the promise that he wouldn’t get it again.

The next morning, after all the presents were opened and the Christmas breakfast was over, I check the litter box; perfectly clean. Hank hadn’t peed since he had peed in the car the day before. I began to worry. I measured the water in his bowl and decided to keep a close eye on Hank’s bathroom habits. For two days Hank didn’t pee or poop and he refused to eat, even the dry food he wasn’t supposed to have. I knew that Hank wasn’t well. We called the Vet and he told us to bring Hank back in so he could check him again. So, with ice still covering the streets, we took Hank back to the Vet’s office.

“Well, he still has a problem.” the Vet told us. “But I can save this cat. He’ll have to be admitted back into the hospital for more treatment, but I can get him over this.” We were relieved, again. We left Hank and, since our credit card was maxed out, drove to the bank to apply for a loan so that we could make sure that Hank had the best treatment available in our town.

A week later we picked Hank up from the hospital. This time the Vet had shaved his neck in order to insert the iv’s that saved him. Again, everyone was thrilled to have a healthy Hank back home. Again, he refused to eat. We called the Vet and he said that sometimes cats took a few days to get over the trauma of being in the hospital and away from their family. We were told to just watch him and make sure he had fresh water and food.

Hank never peed again. Nor did he ever eat. Hank had kidney failure and was dying. I knew Hank wasn’t going to recover so I called the Vet and asked when we should bring him in to be put to sleep for good. The Vet really was a good guy. He had known us for years and knew how dear Hank was to us and our children. He told us that Hank was not in pain, he was slowing dying from kidney failure, but wasn’t hurting. All he wanted was to be with us and he felt it would be best to keep Hank at home and let him die a natural death with his family around. He told us to talk it over and if we felt like it was not what we wanted to do, then we could bring Hank in and he would take care of the final shot.

The children were adamant that Hank should stay with us and that we should take care of him in his final days. For the rest of his life, someone was holding Hank. He still slept with John and they spent all the Christmas season together. He would still purr his loud purr and we knew we had made the right decision.

After about a week, we got the biggest snow in years. It snowed 28 inches in one day and that’s very unusual for the Ozarks. This snow was so bad that the entire town was shut down for days. And it was very cold, too. I was worried that Hank would get cold so I put him in his bed with a warm blanket near the heater vent. The next morning, we found him dead. He appeared to have tried to get out of his bed and crawl to John’s bed. We were heartbroken but happy that he had passed away at home and without pain. I believe it was easier on our children, especially John, to be with Hank as he was dying.

But we had 28 inches of snow and frozen ground. We couldn’t bury Hank. We place Hank in a box lined with his favorite blanket and his toys, wrapped the box in two trash bags, and place him in the basement near the door so he would stay cool. It was a full week before the snow melted and the ground was soft enough for Dan to dig a grave.
We buried Hank in the garden where he and John built their forts and climbed trees with the original Hank Williams, Jr’s music playing.

We no longer live at that house, but every time we pass, we look at the spot where Hank is buried and remember how lucky we were to have known and loved him. ]]> Granny5 https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?4664-Granny5-s-Blog