https://www.online-literature.com/forums/blog.php?2076-day-in-a-life The largest classic literature discussion forum on the Internet. Read Write Teach Share. en Fri, 05 Jun 2026 09:11:12 GMT vBulletin 10 https://www.online-literature.com/forums/images/misc/rss.jpg https://www.online-literature.com/forums/blog.php?2076-day-in-a-life https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?15301-Reading-a-bit Sat, 30 Dec 2017 16:40:18 GMT Well I didn't get any books for Christmas, now that is rare. Except the last santa always gives me a present too so he got me 'The Hunting of the Snark' I had wanted to read it for a while and he (I) found a pretty copy with pictures. If the comment last santa doesn't make sense that is because here on the ice we have 13 of them and they come one each night starting 13 days before Christmas and the last one leaves gifts on the morning of the 24th, we celebrate on that day. Anyway he got me this book of poetry. I decided to borrow a book from my brother, the one I got him as a joke last year, it is a crime thriller by Richard Castle, yes the tv character, a very easy simple read but exciting and fun. It is getting me going again. Maybe not having a job had more of an impact on me than I thought, and now I have a job, not the dream job I thought I'd get after university but a job. I'll start next week.

Light reading may be what I need at the moment after 6 years of uni reading and uni thinking. Castle is that.

I am not the type to make new year resolutions, but at uni at the beginning of every semester I felt like it was a new start and new plans should be made to make things simpler or better in some way. I have some thoughts on that now too, get back into reading for one. Planning ahead is another, that is actually what I always do but being unemployed changed that in a way so I need to get back on track. And now that I am working I want to start saving for a few things, I would love to take a trip with my son, I have never done that and maybe I can afford to do that in the fall. I also want a car and just some stability, haven't had that for a while.

Well anyways, reading and planning ahead is next for me. ]]> Helga https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?15301-Reading-a-bit https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?15268-reading-troubles Sun, 03 Dec 2017 09:33:38 GMT For some reason I haven't been able to read in the past few weeks. I don't know why, I feel like I want to but at the same time I don't. I have five very interesting books by my bed but I can't finish them. The last book I read was 'Lullabies for little criminals' by Heather O'Neill and I did like that book a lot. Now I just can't finish anything. I finished school last spring, I now have two degrees in literature and one in translations. I had a summer job in a garden planting vegetables, same job I had the last few summers and I read a lot during the summer, days can be quiet there. Work was done in August and I have been unemployed since. Don't know if that is a factor in all this though. I read at first a bit then I just watched Star trek and made sure I was dressed before my son cam home from school, can't stay in my pyjamas all day. I try to read and sometimes I think I have found my love of it again but then it goes away. I have had 'dry spells' before but that was usually after a difficult school year and never lasted long.

Here on the ice we have something called 'the Christmas book flood' cause books are a big part of our heritage (I have bought my son two books for Christmas one in Icelandic and one in English and also one graphic novel) and in November there is a magazine of sorts that lists all the books being published or that have been published during the year so you can mark the ones you want. This has been my favourite magazine since I was a kid, I remember sitting in the kitchen going over it again and again. My best Christmas memory was when I was 10 or 11 and I got 7 books for Christmas, I was so happy! Now I have browsed through this magazine but not with the same enthusiasm as I did before, and I find myself lacking in some way.

I used to read in the bath and just about everywhere, I haven't done that in a while now. When I was waiting for a friend at a cafe I read, now I just stare out the window.

I don't know how to get myself out of this, I know I should pick up a book but it seems harder than it was before.

That all being said, it's not like I am in a low in general, I love this time of year. Here on the ice it hardly gets sunny this time of year, and if it's raining or snowing we don't really get daylight at all and I love that. I love the dark, lamps and candles and all that. right now I am sitting in my newly decorated kitchen (taking out and putting in cabinets is no fun though) with a Christmas light in the window and a candle on the table, along with my coffee cup. I have a new cat who is wonderful, his name is Dax and he kisses me every morning with his wet little nose. He and my dog Sisko are great friends and cuddle and play all day long.

Maybe I just need a book that will grab me from the start, something brilliant but simple. This time last year I read 'The girl on the train' and loved it, maybe I just need something like that, a mystery that is well written and exciting.

I don't know, hopefully the book flood this Christmas will solve this issue of mine. ]]> Helga https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?15268-reading-troubles https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?15112-Online-bookstores Sat, 07 May 2016 09:42:42 GMT I live on the ice. We have brilliant authors and poets here, no other country in the world publishes as many books per capita, and we are proud of... I live on the ice. We have brilliant authors and poets here, no other country in the world publishes as many books per capita, and we are proud of it. There are not many small independent bookstores, here I can think of 3, but one of them also publishes books, and one is a bookstore and a café (and my home away from home). We have chains that have a great variety of books from all over the world but it's not perfect.

That is where online bookstores come in. I have used Amazon a lot, but always with guilt in my heart, I use book depository and I get free delivery, I also use the Guardian bookstore. It's not like being in the store browsing and smelling the books, it's sitting in my kitchen, in my pj's getting something specific. Or it's looking through used books hoping the one I buy won't look real bad, or stink.

On Monday I got a package from the Guardian bookstore, an illustrated dictionary of Shakespeare's work, mainly cause it looked good and I like words, and a small collection of Shakespeare's soliloquies. Very nice, I was very happy. I sat down at the before mentioned café and opened it up. The owner came, curious to see what I had. She told me about Shakespeare and company's online store. I never thought they had an online store. Well, it is beautiful. I went home, with my two brand new books in boring packages and ordered Howl and other poems by Allen Ginsberg. I have always wanted a book of his poetry and I am pretending I am rich....

Well the package came this morning. Marked Shakespeare and Company with a quote from the (second) founder "The bookstore is an empire of the spirit that has been expanded laterally". I opened it up and inside were two bookmarks from the store and a brown paper bag with the store's logo. I opened the bag and inside was the book I orderer smelling like a wonderful perfume that made me think of Paris ( though I have never been) a poem by Robert Burns written by an employee on a typewriter. A photo taken in May of the store and a small piece of paper with a quote by Steve Martin that said "Be so good they can't ignore you".

This is the best book delivery I have ever had, and it almost or really just sits at the top, along side with a birthday present I got when I was 7 from my aunt, she sent me 4 Blue Castillo. Blue cheeses cause at that time you couldn't get them here on the ice, and I love'em. I gave my mom and dad one with me and ate the rest myself.

I know I will order my books in the future from Shakespeare and company, it's almost as good as browsing though an old bookstore alone. Like the cheese, I will enjoy these gifts alone and happy. ]]> Helga https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?15112-Online-bookstores https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?15091-Ginger-tea-and-chocolate Sun, 27 Mar 2016 09:16:13 GMT Been a while since I wrote something down here, and the only reason why I am doing it now is because I should be proofing my MA thesis. I am... Been a while since I wrote something down here, and the only reason why I am doing it now is because I should be proofing my MA thesis.

I am kinda sick, I have had a cold for two days now, was really ill on Friday but it's getting better. It is my firm belief that the only cure for cold (or any other virus) is tea, and lots of it! So have been drinking tea pretty much day and night now for three days. I love tea but usually I go for coffee in the morning, and drink so much of it that I stick to tea in the afternoon. But I have hardly had any coffee in the past few days. Some, cause I get withdrawal if I don't drink it but little, just like 3 cups a day.

My thesis in 90% done, I have one chapter left to write and I need the books I have at school for that so I am just proofing everything and sending my advisor short chapters. It looks good, I think. I will be happy when it is done and I have a copy in my hands.

My son is spending Easter with his dad, stepmom, her son and a brand new younger brother, he was very excited about having a sibling finally. He knows I don't want more kids so his dad and stepmom stepped in and gave him a brother. When I was feeling sick, before he left on Friday he showed me a picture of his brother to make me feel better, very sweet, but not healing unfortunately.

One thing about small kids, and mainly parents. Why do parents of infants always think everyone wants to hold them? I don't, I really, really, don't. I had coffee with a friend the other day, she has a 5 month old girl and she asked if I wanted to hold her and I politely said no thank you, then her dog came and I hugged him a lot, until I thought this might seem rude and stopped focusing on the dog. I didn't focus on the baby, just ignored both.

People often ask when there is a small baby around if I get a tingling or longing for another one. NO, just no, sleepless nights, diaper change and just constant eye on the child, nope, not again. I love my son, he is the best thing I have in my life but I'm not doing all that stuff again. Also I really value my independence, he is almost ten and I like that I can go get coffee with a friend and don't have to bring him along or get a babysitter. that being said, I never get a babysitter, I am at home every night and even when he is with his dad I don't go out, but that is my choice, and my anxieties.... a combination.

Well, Shakespeare is waiting for me, and when I am done with him, Matt Murdock is next in line. ]]> Helga https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?15091-Ginger-tea-and-chocolate https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?15040-Time-for-a-Christmas-break-and-some-light-reading-for-myself Mon, 14 Dec 2015 10:06:26 GMT Well I am on a break now, I only have one semester left to get my MA. Next semester I will only write my thesis, no classes, I find that a bit scary.... Well I am on a break now, I only have one semester left to get my MA. Next semester I will only write my thesis, no classes, I find that a bit scary. I have started my thesis, written a first draft of one chapter so that is something.

Now I am on a break and I am reading The Girl on the train by Paula Hawkins and enjoying it, no descriptions of illness or tumours so I think I am safe from diagnosing myself with the disease I am reading about at that moment.

I am almost getting into a Christmas mood, I finished buying every present and now I just have to get the last one to the printers, I took together every article written in memory of my father, the speech from his funeral and a poem his friend wrote about him after he died and set it up in a book to be printed for my family. I hope they will be happy about it cause it took hours to make. In the past month, if I wasn't writing an essay or taking care of my son I was working on this. But now it is done and I just have to get it printed and wrapped.

My son will spend Christmas with his dad and stepmom this year and I will be with my mom and stepdad on Christmas eve. One of my two brothers will be there too with his family so that is nice, it's odd how important it feels to have kids around, even if it's not my own son. I am fine with this system to only have him every other year during the holiday, and he is so well balanced it's really amazing. His teacher has sent me notes and told me in person a bunch of times how amazed she is about our relationship, the parents that is. I am not on facebook but his stepmom is so she is in all the parents groups and all that stuff I am not in and we all get e-mails from the teacher with news. They are expecting a kid and my son is so excited to have a younger brother next year.

It's only 10 days 'till Christmas and I have nothing to do except read and drink my tea. It has been snowing like crazy here on the ice and frost so the northern lights are going crazy in the sky. It is beautiful. I am also very stable and good these days, maybe it has something to do with my therapist, she is wonderful and has helped me a whole lot with my anxieties and we are getting there when it comes to my OCD. It is difficult to change your behaviour after doing these things for almost 20 years, some days it's easier than others though.

Well I am just happy to be on a break now and I am gonna go read ]]> Helga https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?15040-Time-for-a-Christmas-break-and-some-light-reading-for-myself https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?15005-What-books-can-do-to-you! Sun, 27 Sep 2015 14:23:19 GMT I am taking a course called literature and medicine, the professors have a literary background but they teach a course similar to this one for... I am taking a course called literature and medicine, the professors have a literary background but they teach a course similar to this one for medical students too and now they are bringing this to us MA literature students. I really enjoy the class and I find the whole thing very, very interesting. But some of the books I have been reading have a let's say difficult impact on me. One is by an author from the ice and is about the time her husband was diagnosed and died from a brain tumour. She describes the affects the tumour had on him and all of a sudden, last week I was convinced I had a brain tumour myself. No joke I was certain, I called my dogs birds and I got the date for two appointments this month confused, so it HAD to be a tumour. I knew deep down that wasn't it, here on the ice we have a word about being weird that has the Icelandic word for birds in it and that is what I was thinking about when I called my dogs birds and my therapist said that 5 appointment books and calendars will confuse more than organize. So I guess that is it.

My teacher in the class I mentioned above said that people who are jumpy, try to stop someone in a movie from falling down or 'jump' when a surprising sound comes are more able than others to feel empathy. Not that if you are not jumpy you can't feel empathy, just that people who are feel it more. I am very jumpy, I was at a dinner at my uncle's house last night and I noticed how I was more jumpy when the kids made loud sound or shouts than anyone else at the table. I have always been like that, I don't like loud sounds, except music and I don't like crowds, or just a decent sized group of people so maybe I was extra jumpy last night.

I have always loved reading and found it easy to see myself in almost every character but books about illnesses and things like that are clearly not for me.

My therapist told me to write things down and I have a special book now to write into about my OCD and how to work through it, that is hard work. I let my son put butter on his bread by himself (he does all the time when he is alone) but I couldn't watch cause he did it wrong and the butter box doesn't look correct right now, but it has been two days and I haven't fixed it so I guess that is something. She also told me to stop reminding my son to be polite whenever he leaves the house, it's something I feel I have to say to make sure he is polite. One day he told me when I had said this to him that he's always polite but he knows I feel better when I say it... I think I have a very smart kid and I really need to stop doubting him, he is 9 years old.

Well I guess I have said what I wanted to say and this is a therapeutic tool, the written word has great power. ]]> Helga https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?15005-What-books-can-do-to-you! https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?14960-three-dinners-and-animal-planet Thu, 09 Jul 2015 09:21:04 GMT Well, since I started this again I'll write again.

My son left yesterday to spend a month with his dad and family. It is always odd when he leaves, before he goes I think about how I'll enjoy having no responsibility and I can just come home after work and eat dinner at 5 if I want too (when I am alone I tend to eat dinner two or three times, I think I have Hobbit genes) watch tv 'till I fall asleep or read with no one interrupting me. But the minuet he leaves I just want to sit down and stare into space. I love being alone in general and I have no problems with not speaking to anyone for a long time, sometimes I go weekends without human contact and they are the best. But knowing it is going to be a month until I see him is always weird. I have a million things I want to do and every summer I tell myself that maybe I'll go out and meet somebody new and do something, but I never do.

I am very lucky because I know he is in very good hands, he has a fine dad and a wonderful step mom who takes good care of him. His dad doesn't always get him and he kinda wants him to be more like himself. His dad loves cars and would play with him all day long if my son liked cars, but he never has, not as a small child and not now. He likes LEGO and books and making things like masks or outfits, and yes he likes video games. He is 9 and all of a sudden computers are the most interesting thing.

I am probably a very annoying mom, I can talk about my son for hours. I can talk about my dogs for hours too though.

I am working in a garden this summer, helping kids and families growing vegetables and such. I decided to get a job that is very different from school work. After spending all winter in front of a computer and reading I just wanted physical work. It has been very good and kinda cleansing, I read during my lunch break and I am so tired when I get home. Animal planet has become my buddy.

I think about my friend a lot, he will be buried tomorrow. Life is complicated, and I have been told that I tend to make it a lot more complicated than it needs to be. I can't really control my thoughts and ideas that pop in.

I was diagnosed with OCD last winter and social anxieties, I knew I had both those things but after talking to the specialist she wanted me to get therapy, that is just really expensive and I think I can handle it still. I know that my OCD gets worse every year, and really every semester. My anxieties were at an all time high last semester and I am surprised I got through it with good grades. But I am already thinking about the work that lies ahead next fall. I will start my MA thesis and that is really really scary, my idea might be terrible and I might be very bad at it. This time next year I will hopefully have finished my MA and then I am going to get a diploma in translations and hope for the best.

I have to get ready for work now, and wonder what to do with the rest of my summer... I have a bit of Shakespeare to read to prepare for my thesis and that is always fun. ]]> Helga https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?14960-three-dinners-and-animal-planet https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?14958-Life-as-we-know-it-death-as-I-know-it Wed, 01 Jul 2015 08:50:41 GMT I haven't written anything here in a really really long time. Mainly because I have been busy with school and life in general but also because I don't really like the fact that it is a place I talked about things I don't say outloud, I don't really want people around me to know what goes on in my head so this, at first, seemed like a place to get things out but fear of someone seeing it stopped me.

I know some people have made small changes to their username, maybe I should check into that, simply take the 'ga' out.

Well I am doing this now because I found out yesterday that a friend died. I hadn't seen him in some time and I mainly knew him through my brother but he was a very troubled young man and the healthcare system let him down and that makes me really sad. He was supposed to get into a psychiatric ward but he was a little bit late so they didn't take him in, and now he is gone. He has a long history of mental issues and he was in a paranoid mania when they turned him away. It does look like it was an accident, he was on some very heavy medication that didn't mix well and that was why they wanted him in straight away. He thought everybody was watching him and he knew he needed help. He was very sweet and very smart and well read, we both loved Milan Kundera and we met on occasion at school and had coffee. I really liked him as a friend but because of many of his issues I had to keep a certain distance, he tended to get my interest wrong and I didn't want him to feel bad about anything so on occasion I said things to make sure he knew things were platonic.
He had lost both his parents and he had half-siblings he had little contact with and only an elderly grandma. He had no one to back him up really except a few friends, and most of them had similar or worse issues than he did.

I remember a few years ago when a schoolmate of my mom died and she mentioned how weird it is when you see friends die. My dad died 20 years ago but he had been sick for a few years. Seeing friends die because of an accident or something like that is weird and an odd feeling comes with it. This is the second time I will go to funeral for a friend. Is this something that comes with growing up, comes with life as an adult? When I was a teenager I had been to so many funerals I almost lost count, and most of my friends had never been to one, now as an adult I am still going to funerals regularly but now it's for people my age and not elderly relatives.

My mom said that this was probably his only relief, he had so few people around him and he had tried so many times to get his life on track but the depression and then the mania always took over.


Oh, I don't know if this is something you can ever get used too, even though it is a part of life and no way to get around it.

I don't have any thoughts on death, I don't believe in an afterlife or a better place or a worse place, just turning of the light and it is gone. That thought has always comforted me, I just wish right now that he knew I cared about him and always wanted to help him.

I find it hard that he was alone, and found the next morning. A part of me thinks that will be how I will die, alone. I avoid contact with people and don't let anyone in. Never go out to meet new people cause it scares me, and that is what it was like for him.


no more gloom now, at least he is not in pain anymore, and if there is something after this life than he is with his parents. ]]> Helga https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?14958-Life-as-we-know-it-death-as-I-know-it https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?13273-Control Mon, 27 Jan 2014 14:18:10 GMT I am trying to stay in control of everything in my life at the moment. My scheduling is a bit out of form and I need to get back to everything... I am trying to stay in control of everything in my life at the moment. My scheduling is a bit out of form and I need to get back to everything really. I am stuck on sources for my BA, I have right now 16 books in front of me that I might be able to use I just can't find anything or get it in place. I am just stuck. My brother is reading the 14 pages I have so far and hopefully that will get me going, it usually works.

I am a bit ahead in my classes but I don't know how long I'll keep that up. I am trying to read a head a bit so I can focus on my BA when my son is with his dad.

I have found that I watch to much tv, and I don't mean that I watch for hours every day just that when I decide to read I feel better. I don't know why but it has a huge impact on my anxiety and stress. The thing is tv is easy, just click and it starts and your brain takes a rest.

I have a lot to do for school and of course this means I can't stop thinking about changing my living room.... wonder what that means. I just want to turn everything around. I always do when I should be focused on work.

Well I have gotten my fill of complaining for now, gonna get back to work, or at least try.

I should remember what Yoda said 'Do or do not, there is now try' ]]> Helga https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?13273-Control https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?13264-Words Sun, 19 Jan 2014 12:08:06 GMT Today is Sunday, I just got my first cup of coffee and it's almost noon. I was watching tv late last night, Hunger was on. It truly is a great movie and Steve McQueen says a lot without words. This got me thinking again (like I stopped) about silence and how much we say with body language. I think I say 'I'm uptight and don't want to talk to anyone' I think so, don't know though. I have a friend who doesn't care at all about what people think, she will dance in a crowded street if she wants to. I don't do things like that, I don't dance at all, ever. But she has fun and has a lot of friends, she doesn't want to be alone, she wants company 24/7. A part of me envies that but a bigger part is glad I'm not like that.

I do often wonder how people see me. I was walking with a friend the other day to class and a woman she knows was heading the same way and she said that all she knows about me is that I am extremely organized. That is what she had heard about me. Not smart or funny, organized. I don't complain about that because I am a bit OCD when it comes to how things should be done and in what order. I tend to feel like my way is the right way and even though I don't care if other people do it differently I still deep down think they are wrong...

I was telling a friend her on lit net who knows I tend to use this blog as an outlet when I have something on my mind that when it comes to silence the written word tends to be more powerful than the spoken. At least to me. When you write something down it's more real than when you say it. I am always telling people that I need to go out more but I never do. This year I wrote it down in my plan of goals along with eating regularly (that is a problem) and save a bit more money than I have.

Back to writing, I have kinda given up on writing poetry and fiction. I don't think I'm that good, I think I'm way to dramatic and I often think things are working in my head but no one else gets it so it has plot holes I think. Maybe one day I will start up again, I have many ideas, right now my dream is to finish school and get a job translating books... I think so at least.

I have one poem I think I like, I don't know if I have put it up here it's about 2 years old. I mentioned it once in a thread about writing lyrics. I don't have a name for it yet but here it is:

I think of you
in the morning
You are what I want
every day
first thing I look for
when I come home
last thing I see
before sleep
I can smell you
I can taste you
on my lips
Warm feelings run
through my body
Too much of you
and I shake
too little
I ache
Can't be without you
you'r bitter you'r sweet
You are perfect
for me

Seems dramatic I know but it's about coffee and my brother thinks the title should be Coffee but I don't know. I kinda like that it could be about something more daring then I would ever talk about. We did get the idea to call it Joe, but maybe it just shouldn't have a title.

Words are powerful and that is in part why I read, when you think about it Jane Austen found the written word more powerful then talk. How many letters and notes got people together in her books. I find myself quoting her a lot these days even though it has been a long time since I read anything by her.

Well my books are waiting and it has to be me who reads them or nothing will happen with my BA... ]]> Helga https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?13264-Words https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?13256-Silence-is-good Sat, 11 Jan 2014 10:08:45 GMT Well school starts next week and I don't even have word in my computer yet. Haven't done a thing in my thesis for a while and I am just lazy. I did go over my bookcases yesterday, I do that about 3 or 4 times a year. My back is killing me after all the heavy lifting. But I always love doing it. Doing something physical that doesn't require much thought calms my head, if that makes any sense.

My brain is always working overtime and I go to sleep planning the next day, there is never a break. I was reading fifths blog over at biis-books and she wrote about a book she had read that was about ,in part, a woman who needed silence and wanted to find it and live it to fully be in the world. I have been thinking about it and I am rarely in silence or even silent. I always have music playing, both for me and because Spock has excellent hearing for a twelve year old and barks at every cat that walks across the street. Silence with people also scares me and I tend to tell my mom more than I want to (cause she nags) because I can't handle it if there is a silent moment when I visit her. If there is silence when I am alone I am usually talking to myself or my dogs. I remember in a Jane Austen book I think it was Sense and Sensibility but I'm not sure. A mother tells her youngest daughter that if she doesn't have anything appropriate to say please to restrict her remarks on the weather. I like that, just have like a card with a few things to say when I feel like the silence is to much. Also I may just have to get used to silence, I have been alone for almost 4 years now. Every other weekend when my boy is with his dad I am not in silence and I am not quiet but I don't talk to people, just myself and my dogs.

I was talking to my brother about this and he told me that I overthink. I knew that but he also said when I mentioned a few things I think are a part of how people see me that he had never thought of these things. When I see something that annoys me in other people I often find it in me and think it's there all the time but it may be something I say or do rarely, not often enough so people notice.

This Christmas I almost started crying on when I read a card I got from my friend at school. I don't cry, at least not in general. But in this card she wrote something along the lines of 'never stop talking about Star Trek cause it might land you a husband one day' I just found this a crappy thing to say. I do talk about ST a bit and they always encourage that cause it is usually to explain something we have been learning and she used the fact that just a few weeks earlier I was freaking out when my brothers friend started texting me. I know my friend was trying to be funny but it just wasn't. It made me feel like all I talk about is ST and the fact that I am alone. Both is true but I don't think it should be used as a joke.

I am very honest about my feelings and I can't hide it if I find something boring or I don't like it. I don't hug people, except my son but this friend always hugs and she knows I don't like but she still does it. I have another friend who can say the same thing but does it differently so it doesn't hurt or annoy and she knows I don't hug so she respects that.

Oh well I am just going over things I should let go of now and forget. ]]> Helga https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?13256-Silence-is-good https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?13244-A-new-year-has-come Wed, 01 Jan 2014 11:02:11 GMT Well today is the first day of the new year. I am kinda tired, we were at my moms house yesterday but me and the boy walked home before 12 cause I... Well today is the first day of the new year. I am kinda tired, we were at my moms house yesterday but me and the boy walked home before 12 cause I was scared the dogs would be freaking out alone at home. They were OK and we just celebrated the new year and watched the Muppets movie. Here on the ice people buy fireworks for crazy amounts of money and then everybody is blowing them up in their backyards. My son was terrified walking the streets with all this going on. People stop traffic and are just where ever they want to be with these crazy bombs. Spock wouldn't go out to pee from about 4 yesterday and 'till 10 this morning, that's what 17 hours?! Sisko is a bit braver and went outside around 1:30 last night.

I did very well at school this past semester and I got 8.5 on all my courses, so I just plan to continue like that from now on. I never got grades like that before and that was really because of one simple reason. Because of my numbers blindness (I have no idea what it is called in English but it's like dyslexia with numbers) I felt from about 11 years of age that I must be very stupid not being able to do the simple math most of the other kids could do. It wasn't diagnosed 'till I was 17 and the principal said it was time to see if that could be my problem, she was right. I had to take a 2 hour IQ test. Well this affected me more than I thought and I have always been scared of working hard on projects if I'd then realize that my hard work ended with a bad grade and my fear of being ignorant would be true. Now I needed to work harder cause I want to continue my studies and my average grade was just a bit too low. Now it is above and will hopefully be even higher after my last semester.

I think I have been more organized on every level this semester and I think I feel even better than I have before. MY son is doing great at school, he reads a lot and is learning how to play Ukulele, and he is gonna take a course in art after school now. He says he wants to be an artist when he grows up so I hope he'll enjoy it.

My mom is pushing me quite a lot to go out more but I am just not ready for that. My brother had another concert with a friend the other day but I just couldn't imagine going, I hardly slept knowing this was coming and after the last one I felt like a nervous wreck for days.

I don't know why I am like this and this might be something I should get over but it's gonna happen slowly and when I am ready.

Anyways, happy new year, and thanks for commenting on my ramblings in 2013 ]]> Helga https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?13244-A-new-year-has-come https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?13232-Christmas-is-here-and-the-boy-is-away Mon, 23 Dec 2013 12:31:52 GMT Well it's the 23rd, tomorrow we celebrate Christmas here on the ice. I kinda had one this morning with my son cause he is spending the holiday with his dad. He opened all his presents and we built some new Lego he got. He is always so happy about everything he gets, my mom got him new sheets for his bed, adult size and he was so happy. She was nervous that he would be disappointed to get a huge present (it was huge) and inside was only sheets for the bed, but he loves everything he gets.

Now his dad has picked him up cause the weather will be bad today and tomorrow. They will be away until the 26th. I am OK with it but I of course wish he was here. He was so excited about everything, he woke up before 7. Now I'm just gonna read as much as I can and drink coffee.

He got a few books, the dogs got him a book by David Walliams and he was very happy about it. The dogs also got me a book so we have some reading to do.

I'm gonna spend tomorrow night with my mom and stepdad so it's OK. Later this week my brother is having a concert and it's kinda freaking me out. I could hardly sleep for days after the last one, I just can't handle all the people there and if my brothers friend comes I don't know what I'll do. Maybe I'll just go to the concert and get myself home straight after it so I don't have to talk to anyone.

Well I'm gonna go read or something. ]]> Helga https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?13232-Christmas-is-here-and-the-boy-is-away https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?13224-Krampus-Grıla-and-the-rest Wed, 18 Dec 2013 09:33:01 GMT Just a few days 'till Christmas, almost everything is done, I have two presents to buy and I'll do that today and a few small items from the last 5 santas that haven't arrived yet. Santas isn't a plural in English, and it sound wrong but (like I have said before) they are a breed not a person. I really like the evil parts of stories and life, I am not evil or bad to people myself, though some people say so but that is more as a joke cause I don't know how to hide my feelings. I can't pretend to like people or if I don't like something people say you can usually see it on my face. But back to the other bad guys, I have been reading a bit about Krampus, didn't know who he was until I saw last week's episode of Grimm. Here on the ice we have Grıla, she is our santas mom and she eats kids who are naughty, she also has a big cat and he eats kids who don't get new clothes for Christmas.

Maybe this is because of my research into Grendel but it is interesting how many monsters are in our lives. We tell our children fairy tales of evil beings and the old myths are often very scary. We create all sorts of monsters and tell stories about them before bedtime. At the moment I am reading A Christmas Carol for my son and that one is filled with scary ghosts. But the ends justify the meaning, right? if the good guy wins then it's OK.

The Icelandic santas used to be bad guys but they changed and turned good, now they give children a small present in a shoe they put in the window. I found a few of their names translated in to English and they pretty much describe what they do: Window Peeper, Door Slammer, Sausage Snatcher and Pot Licker. These are just a few there are also many old ones but only 13 names are still used today, one of the old ones that is not deemed good enough as a role model for kids is one called Skirt Blower, yes he would blow up the skirt to see what was meant to be hidden.

I like these 'bad guys' traditions meant to keep kids in line, and here if a kid is bad he gets a potato or a coal in his shoe. That is not fun.

Anyway enough of my wanderings. I got two of three grades in and I got 8.5 for both courses, I am very happy about that. I have just one left to come and I think that will be after Christmas. That was in Horror studies. I am on holiday now and my mom keeps nagging me about Christmas cleaning, what is the deal with that!? My house is not dirty but for some reason I have to do everything ten times because it's Christmas. I don't do, just what I feel like I need to not my mom. My son said to her yesterday that he doesn't think we need to do that much cause he will be with his dad for Christmas and I will be with her. I like that reasoning.

We make our own wrapping paper, a tradition my son loves. We sit every night and draw pictures on a roll of paper so everyone gets a personalized wrap. We did this for my brother's birthday too, and I wrote a lot of quotes on it from Star Trek, Star Wars and other sci-fi shows. My son loves doing this. He says he's going to be an artist when he grows up.

Well life goes on as it should. This is always a good time of year for me. When so many people feel awful this time of year, and here on the ice it's dark almost all day. Right now it's 10:30 in the morning and it's pitch black outside, the sun comes up around noon maybe and than it's gone an hour later or so. Many people don't like it and feel depressed but this is my time, I love it and it's is the only time of year I can't complain about anything, and I do feel it in my mood. I have more patience and my mom nagging doesn't irritate me.

Well I'm gonna do something wise now, like read ]]> Helga https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?13224-Krampus-Grıla-and-the-rest https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?13213-3-down-10-to-go Sat, 14 Dec 2013 10:07:53 GMT Last Wednesday was my last exam, in horror studies. It was also my dads birthday, he would be 67 years old if he were alive. I was really nervous for... Last Wednesday was my last exam, in horror studies. It was also my dads birthday, he would be 67 years old if he were alive. I was really nervous for the test but I think I did OK. Well now my Christmas vacation has started and I am reading for myself for once. My son will spend the holidays with his dad so I am trying to make as much as I can out of these days in decorating and baking and stuff like that. I don't really like decorations that much but he loves it.

We have a few traditions we like to hold on to, like watching Christmas Vacation and making our own wrapping paper. Also we always read Christmas Carol by Dickens, that is a necessary part of this season.

It is always weird not having my son during the holidays but this is the first time I won't be working on Christmas eve and on the 25th. So I'll be at my mom's house, I really just want a quiet night at home but my mom would really never forgive me and it would ruin her night.

Here on the ice the main night is the 24th, we open presents and everything that night and then we just get two extra days off. We are very good at adding holidays to the calendar, we have 'the second' in everything.

The santa's have arrived, well three of them have, ten more to come. My son is up just over six every morning because he is so excited to see what is in his shoe.

Well I have nothing to do except read so that is what I am going to do now. ]]> Helga https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?13213-3-down-10-to-go