https://www.online-literature.com/forums/blog.php?14933-Imported-Poems The largest classic literature discussion forum on the Internet. Read Write Teach Share. en Fri, 05 Jun 2026 15:02:06 GMT vBulletin 10 https://www.online-literature.com/forums/images/misc/rss.jpg https://www.online-literature.com/forums/blog.php?14933-Imported-Poems https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?292-This-is-not-a-blog Sun, 21 Jan 2007 20:06:50 GMT Blaise Pascal was a brilliant French mathematician who gave us countless advances in probability calculation, as well as the grade ten mathematical... Blaise Pascal was a brilliant French mathematician who gave us countless advances in probability calculation, as well as the grade ten mathematical crutch known as Pascal’s triangle. He also formulated Pascal’s Wager, a theorem which argues that logic demands belief in God, as one has nothing to lose in the afterlife if He does not exist.

Pascal’s Wager has been criticized from all sides. Among the frequently raised objections are that God would see through the Wager and send you to hell anyway, that there is no particular reason to believe in Pascal’s God particularly and that the statement that one has nothing to lose by taking up theistic belief is false. The biggest problem – and one somehow frequently overlooked – is that if one believes in God, one cannot get into Atheist Heaven.

Atheist Heaven is way better than Christian Heaven. Among the advantages are:

• The denizens are not required to praise anybody is they don’t feel like it.
• Sinning is allowed.
• Every other wednesday is Nude Wednesday.
• Special guest appearances by the cool gods from other religions, including Thor, Aphrodite, Buddha, Ganesha and Jesus.
• No Catholic Saints around to describe in great detail how they were tortured to death.
• Tickets still available for Björk’s first post-life tour.
• Well-stocked library, including Douglas Adams’ now complete Salmon of Doubt.
• Yes! We Have Thomas Jefferson!
• More booze than every other heaven combined, Including Valhalla!
• St. Thomas’ every popular “I Never Really Bought the Whole Resurrection Thing” lecture.
• Coming soon: stand-up comedy by George Carlin and Woody Allen.
• And much more!

Despite then name, Atheist Heaven is open to all sorts of irreligious persons, including, but not limited to, doctrine agnostics, freethinkers, ignostics, deists, anti-theists, Spinozans, nihilists, non-theists and secular humanists. Non-doctrine agnostics (sometimes referred to as ‘weak’ or ‘soft’ agnostics) are exempt, but the moral among them will be given a guided tour of all the heavens. After ten minutes in each one, everybody turns to them simultaneously and shouts “Just kidding! It isn’t this one either!”.

The only requirements for entrance into Atheist Heaven are that one lead a moral life without the expectation of reward in the afterlife. The irreligious who fail to meet this requirement will be sent to Atheist Hell, with all the overly dogmatic and immoral theists (such as Fred Phelps at Pat Robertson), where they will systematically drive one another bonkers.

In conclusion and in summary, the theistic are welcome to their beliefs, but should be aware that the prizes offered by Pascal’s Roulette Wheel are not so great as the benefits of refusing to play. ]]> cuppajoe_9 https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?292-This-is-not-a-blog https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?205-This-is-not-a-blog Wed, 03 Jan 2007 23:42:14 GMT One of the most common themes in contemporary philosophy is that of the relationship between humans and the rest of the universe. This relationship... One of the most common themes in contemporary philosophy is that of the relationship between humans and the rest of the universe. This relationship is of great significance to the question of the meaning of life, for if the nature of this relationship were to be exactly discovered, it is assumed that meaning would logically follow. David Hume proposes the simplest imaginable answer: “[T]he life of a man is of no greater importance to the universe than that of an oyster”. It is this writer’s intention to evaluate the truth of this statement.

First of all, the term ‘of importance to the universe’ must be defined. The universe, as a whole, either has a goal or a plan associated with it (because such a plan is assigned by a deity), or it does not (either because no deity exists, or because a deity does exist but has no such plan). If the first is true, “of importance to the universe”, must mean “having an effect of the function or the final outcome of the universe”. On the other hand, if the universe does have a plan associated with it, the term must mean “facilitating or hindering the carrying out of the universe’s plan”. We will take the two definitions separately.

If there is no plan associated with the universe, one must come to the conclusion that Hume is quite correct. It is hard to imagine the six billion humans currently in existence on the planet making much of a difference to the nearly infinite collection of matter and energy that comprises the physical universe, much less one single person. Using myself as an example, I can imagine no action that I could possibly take that would ever be of any cosmic significance at all. I could, perhaps, write a sensational work of fiction or compose a particularly moving piece of music, but that would be nothing to the non-human workings of the Earth. I could start a nuclear war and put an end to life on this planet, but that would be nothing to Luna, our moon. Even if I could, by some as of yet unknown principle of physics, cause the sun to collapse upon itself and destroy the entire solar system, that would not have the slightest effect on the Crab Nebula or Aldebaran. If the universe is unplanned, then Hume is correct, and it is impossible for a human being to be of any significance to it.

But if the universe has a goal? Lois Hope Walker (whom I suspect is also Louis Pojman), in his essay on the meaning which religion gives to life makes reference to a cosmic battle in which, ultimately, humans will defeat evil and ensure that good prevails, all with the help and guidance of God. For Walker, we are of infinitely greater significance than mere oysters, we are soldiers in the divine struggle of good against evil. Unfortunately, this view too falls apart under the vastness of the universe. Astronomy tells us that if God exists, he is the caretaker of a nearly infinite piece of property with some rather quarrelsome inhabitants packed into an infinitesimal corner of it. If such a landlord has a plan for his property, it is difficult to imagine the hairless apes of the Spiral Arm holding its success or failure in the balance, no matter how smart we seem to think we are.

Hume, it seems, has us at every turn. If the universe is planned, it is inconceivable that any of us hold success or failure in the balance, and if the universe is unplanned, we cannot hope to significantly disrupt its workings. But so what? Are any of us really so egotistical and insecure as to have our happiness completely tied up in our cosmic significance? We are not Walker’s moral soldiers, we are Camus’ Sisyphuses, pushing our boulders up our mountains until they finally fall for the last time. It does Sisyphus no good to imagine that he is building castles, for he will simply frustrate himself. He must accept that he will accomplish nothing, and then set himself to enjoying his struggle towards the heights. Like Socrates, who found his meaning in the impossible task proving his oracle wrong and Russell, who dedicated himself to love, knowledge and pity, or Epicurus, who found his meaning in life’s most modest pleasures, we must relinquish delusions of cosmic significance and set ourselves to our own Sisyphian burdens. ]]> cuppajoe_9 https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?205-This-is-not-a-blog https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?17-This-is-not-a-blog Mon, 06 Nov 2006 04:17:34 GMT *This is not a blog* Well, clearly it is. A blog I mean. So why the title? I am not, as you may have assumed, simply trying to be clever. In... This is not a blog

Well, clearly it is. A blog I mean. So why the title?

I am not, as you may have assumed, simply trying to be clever. In reality, I have a pathological and completely irrational hatred of the terms 'blog', 'blogger', 'blogging', 'blogged' and 'blogginess', and I won't be mentioning them again. Thank you.

Going into battle with six pairs of socks

I myself have not yet worked out quite what this means. It was taken from a 1935 war picture called The Dark Angel. The love interest, played by Merle Oberon, fretting over the comfort of her lover, Frederic March, packs him all manner of expensive food and clothing. March, being the stereotypical practical male soldier figure, objects to this attention, saying "Fancy going into battle with six pairs of socks!".

This, quite clearly, is not what I mean.

I picked the subtitle on impulse so, as I've said, I don't know what I mean by it, but the image of a person going into battle with nothing but six pairs of socks, balled up and used as projectile weapons, is a bit intriguing. This poor fellow is, of course, destined to be mowed down like a field mouse in an automatic car wash. He's clearly not going to make very much progress in whatever he's trying to do by throwing a dozen wadded up bits of polyester at it, perhaps an apt metaphor for my various crusades, such as my attempt to get the entire continent which I live on to say 'football' instead of 'soccer', or perhaps I'm just really pretentious. Also, my six-pack-of-socks soldier, while unlikely to get much of anywhere, is also unlikely to screw thing up particularly badly, a condition which I aspire to.

Or maybe I just like the way those eight words go together. One never knows. ]]> cuppajoe_9 https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?17-This-is-not-a-blog https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?2365-This-is-not-a-blog Thu, 02 Nov 2006 21:41:18 GMT The lady in the red dress is moving all around the uptown
She's going to Paris and Rome on her way around
But you know she's not traveling, you know she's only moving around
And her tastes aren't so simple, she'll break your bank for her evening gown

The Greek politician writes his views out into a haiku
He reads it to the press, who find it to be simple as a rule
The write it with pencils and pens and other fine tools
And they all pretend that that 5-7-5 is fine for you

St. George holds his pose as the portraitist clenches his fist
His subject is prone to malaria and epileptic fits
Between sessions they vist with Elmo, they play poker and whist
He'll be slaying a lizard, as dragons just do not exist

My friends and I, we are thinking of going to Spain
They want to fly over the ocean on the newest and fastest aeroplane
They want to sit soaked in sangria on beaches protected from rain
But I get the feeling we're all just moving round once again. ]]> cuppajoe_9 https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?2365-This-is-not-a-blog https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?2349-This-is-not-a-blog Thu, 02 Nov 2006 21:41:18 GMT The General sat down And cried like a teenage girl Whose party had flopped. The General sat down
And cried like a teenage girl
Whose party had flopped. ]]> cuppajoe_9 https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?2349-This-is-not-a-blog https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?2348-This-is-not-a-blog Thu, 02 Nov 2006 21:41:18 GMT Whenever a thought
Strikes me worthy of writing
My pen's ink runs dry. ]]> cuppajoe_9 https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?2348-This-is-not-a-blog https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?1653-This-is-not-a-blog Thu, 02 Nov 2006 21:41:18 GMT The lady in the red dress is moving all around the uptown
She's going to Paris and Rome on her way around
But you know she's not traveling, you know she's only moving around
And her tastes aren't so simple, she'll break your bank for her evening gown

The Greek politician writes his views out into a haiku
He reads it to the press, who find it to be simple as a rule
The write it with pencils and pens and other fine tools
And they all pretend that that 5-7-5 is fine for you

St. George holds his pose as the portraitist clenches his fist
His subject is prone to malaria and epileptic fits
Between sessions they vist with Elmo, they play poker and whist
He'll be slaying a lizard, as dragons just do not exist

My friends and I, we are thinking of going to Spain
They want to fly over the ocean on the newest and fastest aeroplane
They want to sit soaked in sangria on beaches protected from rain
But I get the feeling we're all just moving round once again. ]]> cuppajoe_9 https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?1653-This-is-not-a-blog https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?1637-This-is-not-a-blog Thu, 02 Nov 2006 21:41:18 GMT The General sat down And cried like a teenage girl Whose party had flopped. The General sat down
And cried like a teenage girl
Whose party had flopped. ]]> cuppajoe_9 https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?1637-This-is-not-a-blog https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?1636-This-is-not-a-blog Thu, 02 Nov 2006 21:41:18 GMT Whenever a thought
Strikes me worthy of writing
My pen's ink runs dry. ]]> cuppajoe_9 https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?1636-This-is-not-a-blog