https://www.online-literature.com/forums/blog.php?13410-title The largest classic literature discussion forum on the Internet. Read Write Teach Share. en Fri, 05 Jun 2026 07:55:48 GMT vBulletin 10 https://www.online-literature.com/forums/images/misc/rss.jpg https://www.online-literature.com/forums/blog.php?13410-title https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?10672-Fireworks Tue, 06 Jul 2010 17:45:10 GMT This was just an effort to get rid of the writers' block. I did not edit it otherwise I would not make the choice to post it....
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- July 5, 2010


There is something about the fireworks on Independence Day that never fails to lapse me into silent reflection; although I receive thorough enjoyment gazing up at them, they always bring with them some bout of sadness as well. For most of the early part of summer, people await the celebration with much excitement. The day comes, and everyone knows it has arrived and they are thrilled as they all meet together, share food and company, and pull their seats out to enjoy the upcoming show.


Amidst the crowd of onlookers, the dark sky finally sets the stage for the performance: One can spot the tiny rockets shoot hurriedly into the air with a whistle that most can hear, their bursting makes young children shriek in surprise and car alarms sound – and everyone notices their existence as the small flames burst forth and expand into bright budding colors. The display is small and timed at first. But it grows; it gives birth to something bigger. Under hungry eyes the climax reaches and the explosions of fireworks in rapid succession mix separate rockets into one another – and together they create a loud and beautiful display. The chatter of the onlookers is spiced with “ooh” and “ahh” and yelps of excitement, laughter and surprise. Would the fireworks’ show and short life span still mean as much if there was no one to cheer them on? Does it make the show any less beautiful? Do they still have a purpose if it is not to parade their beauty – their intermingling? Is it their sole purpose is to exist with each other in the midst of curious onlookers?


The summer afternoon still clings to the bodies of the audience as they are chilled by the night breeze. As the show comes to an end, the bursting is more intermittent, the co-mingling of colors and fire happens less and less, and a quiet starts to creep in between the dispersal of rockets. The onlookers are getting sleepy, and disappointed that the show did not last as long as they had liked – that it did not last indefinitely perhaps. Chairs are folded up even before the last rocket explodes, the cold has gotten the better of the crowd – and last attempts at viewing the rockets’ warmth are abandoned.


I stay and linger behind and watch the last of the straggling fireworks climb into the air to salvage what was left of the show. Should they even continue? The warmth has gone out of the show; there are no longer multiple rockets with which to dance, with which to create a multi-colored and passionate display. Their attempts are futile as the end is imminent. For all the hurried and built up anxiety of Independence Day, the show is short and the hollow silence brings in the end of the evening. All that’s left of this short story to prove of its existence is the sulfuric smell that clings desperately to the night air as the breeze tries to carry it away, and other lonesome survivor is that of the outlines of smoke forming the temporary imprinted memory of fire bursts in the sky. Soon they too will be gone. The hurried, long awaited, passionate and excited show of the dance of fireworks has ended much too soon, and the memory of their anticipated arrival has disappeared into the quieting bodies of onlookers now retreated into their homes.


At last, it is time for me myself to retreat. I reflect upon the evening’s parade of lights, and of how short a love story theirs was. How anxiously it is awaited, how much it is loved, how entangled the fire and colors are, and yet how very short lived and soon forgotten it all was.


What is it that we prefer? Surely we would care for the bright and vibrant display to continue on loudly and indefinitely. Our passions would succumb to the attention with much pleasure. Would we still choose the wild and public display though it lasted only a short time? Or would we abandon in favor of a more faithful and longer burning fire that is contained within a fireplace – even though it’s conversation to the audience is nothing more loudly than a steady crackling? Even upon its hearth, that contained and cozy fire – warm and glowing and steady – still excites upon the audience the threat of it having potential to burn wildly and consume all in its path. Just because it is quieter than the paraded fireworks display does not mean it lacks its passion. It is a fire that burns hours – it brings with it faithfulness and a fulfilling commitment that it will be there to meet however many diverse requests we make of it so long as it is fed and kindled. It is centered – the light, the warmth and the color are all thick and concentrated. The fire within a hearth can be transferred – bring an object close to it and let it move forth to climb upon branches or pages; it will spread and exist further. Unlike the sulfuric scent that lingers in the air after the theatrical show of fireworks, when the fire in the hearth dies out, the evidence is more apparent and longer lasting. Charcoal remains and smudges leave a semi permanent mark – any future visitors will know what happened in that location. The somber audience that departs from an enclosed fire will carry with them the smoky smell that remains in their clothing. It will last until deliberation causes them to wash away the evidence of it.


How should we make a choice between the two? Which would we prefer? The robust, excited and hurried show of something beautiful but yet short lived, or the steady and yet quieter burn that endures much longer? Neither type of display of fire is any less fire because of how it exists. Consider it a safe assumption to say we need both in our lives? ]]> grace86 https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?10672-Fireworks https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?10623-Guatemala-2010 Mon, 28 Jun 2010 23:25:30 GMT I feel kind of tactless and rude for posting this up on my blog, but as explained in the proceeding letter - I did not plan on going and as such... I feel kind of tactless and rude for posting this up on my blog, but as explained in the proceeding letter - I did not plan on going and as such instead of mailing this out to the friends on LitNet that I mailed it to last year, I've decided to post it this way. Should you feel interested in aiding me, please send me a private message for details on address information. - Thank you so much guys for putting up with me! I love you lots!!

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June 27th, 2010

Dear Friends and Family,

One day last year, after spending about half an hour sharing lunch and gospel stories with some barefoot children who lived in the alley-way dump of Guatemala City, and after moving a family’s corrugated sheet metal “home” from one of the city dumps to another hillside landfill location, I had a conversation with a team member about the effectiveness of our missionary work in Guatemala. She was discouraged because she felt as though we could have done more. How were we showing Jesus to these people? My response was not as labored an explanation as you might think. Our job in Guatemala, I told her, was not that we could save everyone from the lives they were living – only God could do that, nor to grab them up in our arms and carry them home with us, otherwise if we could have, we would have done just that. Rather, the calling that God set upon our lives in going to Guatemala was a calling to love and to serve those in need there. Our job was to instill a hope in those who had previously had no hope, to share with them the love of the Savior in whom they had no previous knowledge. The job we had to do in Guatemala last year was that of giving them an OPPORTUNITY to hope.

Jesus Christ only did the will of God the Father, and God’s will for Jesus was that He should suffer death at the cross and rise again…not so that everyone would BE saved, but so that everyone could have the OPPORTUNITY to make that decision to be reconciled through salvation. So much pain was endured for so great a love so that we might be given the opportunity to hope. We tend to forget that as Christians, when we step out on God’s will for our lives, it sometimes entails us suffering through pain for God’s glory. When we experience this, the results of stepping out on His will can taste bittersweet. If we are not careful, the enemy can use this pain to make us doubtful, unconfident, and fearful to pursue Christ’s will for our lives again.

It took me almost a year to learn this lesson. When I returned from the mission field last year, my life back home was turned completely upside down and I was broken. The pain I suffered for doing God’s will made me question whether or not I had heard Him correctly – had I made a mistake in believing He sent me? So when conversation came up for Guatemala 2010, the enemy had placed a fear in my heart and a desire not to return to the mission field, and my response to the question of my participation was that God had not yet confirmed my going. I write this letter to you now with full recognition of the haste and of the heavy requests being made. It is also with a humbled heart that I tell you that because of the fear of the potential pain in doing God’s will, I did not want to return to Guatemala – the fear, the lack of confidence, and the lack of faith was sin.

God reconciled me to Him once more when He examined my heart (Psalms 26:2) and revealed to me that despite the issues He would help me work through, it is still my call to return to Guatemala for the July 11th- 25th, 2010 mission trip. The lesson continued when he told me that despite the promise made in Romans 8:28, “all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose,” He does not promise there won’t be moments of suffering for the glory of God. And this is where I appeal to you. The need for constant prayer for our team and for myself is the most important gift you could give to us while we are away. The second request I would make of you is that you please seek God’s face as to whether He would have you help financially support me on this mission. The total cost of the trip is $1800, of which is needed to provide for airfare and supplies by the deadline of July 11th, 2010.

I recognize the haste in which I make these requests, and I understand that in this time of economic difficulty, it is also hard at times to follow God’s call on our lives to support those who would go out into the mission field. My prayer for you is that if our God calls you to aid financially, that you would do so faithfully, and without the fear of possible pains it may cause you in the future.

Fear of pain nearly prevented me from doing what God has placed on my heart to do. In these past days, however, I have recognized, that like Christ, my heart is more than willing to suffer the pains that may be endured when in country, or upon my return home, so that those in need in Guatemala may know love and have the OPPORTUNITY to obtain hope and salvation. This year’s trip will personally present many difficulties in many areas of my life – but yet if it is my God’s will to do this work, it will be done with joy, faith, and gladness.

Pray faithfully dear friends and family, and in whatever way our Lord may have you support this trip I pray that you do only what God has called you to do, to do it in full confidence of His will for your life, and that you may be blessed for all your efforts. Stand with me as I make a step out on faith. Pray with me as you and I grow in Him, step out in faith and know that “to live is Christ and to die is gain” (Philippians 1:21). Help me to plant seeds of hope and give an opportunity to know Christ to those in need.


With love and many blessings,
Grace86




“Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen” – Matthew 28:19-20 KJV ]]> grace86 https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?10623-Guatemala-2010 https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?10294-Compassion-for-Souls-and-Honoring-One’s-Charge Wed, 28 Apr 2010 19:08:45 GMT -April 27th, 2010 Last August I experienced my second mission trip to Guatemala. It had been explained to the team that each year’s trip is always... -April 27th, 2010

Last August I experienced my second mission trip to Guatemala. It had been explained to the team that each year’s trip is always different than the last; the team dynamic is always suited to exactly what the Holy Spirit desires, and the type of outreach done seems always to vary depending on the needs of the people we go to serve. The morning we went to the inner city near this location called the Terminal, I was mentally and spiritually out of sorts. The night before had left me weary and agitated with a stomach ache that kept me up all night, and nightmares that threatened to reoccur the next moment I closed my eyes. Waking up early to do ministry in the city was the farthest thing on my mind.

But that morning as I was quietly grumbling to myself it seemed as though the Holy Spirit was having a conversation with me. I listed my complaints as I got out of the van and onto the curb of a dirty street – remarking at how filthy the curb was that was littered with plastic bags, rotting coconut rinds and other vegetable foods. There was a smell I couldn’t place as the thought crossed my mind at how filthy a place these city streets were. Going back to the mission house and taking a nap seemed like a better alternative.

Tears threatened to stream from my eyes, and my voice would have been choked had I opened my mouth to speak when we arrived at our destination. Walking the dirty streets was nothing compared to what I was about to see. Down an alleyway was a makeshift garbage dump. Smoldering used tires were piled walls high, filth and garbage made up what was once the road, familiar coconut rinds were infested with flies, and there was a smell that permeated your nostrils and left a taste in your mouth. In the midst of this small glimpse of hell, apathy, and disregard were those that time, society, love and justice seemed to forget: A baby sitting in a basket in the middle of refuse, a mother making stew for her children with rotting vegetables which surely were laden with bacteria from sitting on the dump floor, fragile corrugated steel shelters covered in plastic, and children running barefoot after each other amidst broken glass while men carted whatever they could to be recycled for some source of income.

My heart ached and I stopped dead still. I could not breathe, and if words could escape me they would have been unintelligible between sobs. For someone who had seen the beauty of what God can do – this was some hard stuff. How selfish had I been when people needed help! Christ needed to touch these people. It was impossible not to want to pick these people up and cart them away to loving arms and safety. The short time the team spent there was also hard to digest, but yet our job was clear. After a game with the children, a few songs, and a lunch that we shared among them – it was time for the team to leave.

Back at the mission house, one of the team members was having a particularly tough time. After being pressed by the Spirit to speak with her, the night was coming to an end as I found myself sitting beside her on the sofa. A scattered tear here and there made their way down her cheek as she explained that it seemed that we accomplished nothing when meeting with the people in the dump. How were we displaying Christ’s love for them? What did we accomplish when these children were still living in the dump and eating garbage? Why wasn’t it enough – why couldn’t we help them?

As I mentioned, our job as appointed by God was clear. There is no small job for the Kingdom. The job that was given to us was to instill hope and love into a dark world, to offer a glimpse of hope and of the love of Christ through people to children who may otherwise never have known that such beauty existed. Our gift was Hope – the planting of a seed and a desire to know and have something different - the desire for a positive and beautiful future.

…

Some time ago I sat and thought about someone I met years ago; I visited his church and came to realize that he pastors some rather eccentric people. His heart is for God and anyone who knows him can see the excitement he has for God’s kingdom. But truthfully as I sat and reflected it came across my mind that sometimes it would seem these people were more eager about the works instead of the God behind the works and I couldn’t help but feel somehow sorry for him. Why was his ministry like this? But who was I to judge? Then God had another conversation with me that I will share with you now.

“Now before the Passover Feast began, Jesus knew and was fully aware, that the time had come for Him to leave this world and return to the Father. And as He had loved those who were His own in the world, He loved them to the last and to the highest degree.” – John 13:1 AMP

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” – John 3:16 KJV

When Christ walked the earth, He went about healing the sick, making the blind to see, and raising the dead back to life. Christ had the power to heal all the world of all it’s infirmities. There were some places Christ walked into that as He left, no miracles were performed. The last part of John 13:1 says, “And as He had loved those who were His own in the world, He loved them to the last and to the highest degree.” Christ only performed the will of the Father. Whatever God told Him to speak, He spoke, wherever God told Him to go, He went.

As Christians we sometimes tend to think that it is OUR duty to save the world – that somehow WE CAN and WE NEED to save the world. But we cannot do this. Christ had compassion for the entire world, and calls for us to love to love our neighbor (all) as ourselves. Christ died for all to be able to have the OPPORTUNITY to salvation.

But yet just like Christ, we also have charges given to us from the Father. Because we have not the capability to save humanity in its entirety, it is all the more important that we pay attention to what…or who, rather, God has given to us as a charge. Those who God gave to Christ to reveal miracles, or to heal – Christ took care of faithfully. “He loved them to the last and to the highest degree.” The disciples whom He loved, taught and guided went on to help establish the church and further the gospel to the glory of God’s kingdom.

If the team had gotten wrapped up in the idea that “we just didn’t do enough” to help the families living in the dump in the inner city – that we couldn’t save the world – or like me, gotten wrapped up in our own concerns, our focus would have been more on what we could not do rather than on instill love and hope into the people God would have us encounter. The team would have been useless.

After reading that scripture, I thought about the man who pastors the rather eccentric people I mentioned. God showed me that this man was faithful, and glorifying to God. Those people in his ministry are his charges. And just like Christ, it is this pastor’s job to love them to the last and highest degree. He must take care of those given into his flock.

Compassion, not sympathy, is required from all of Christ’s children for the rest of the world. Those with whom God puts us in contact should be receiving Christ through us in whatever way He chooses to best reflect Himself. When we are faithful to that call, God is glorified and the gospel message is carried on.

So in closing, it is on my heart that I should leave you with this: It seems an easy and noble cause to desire to save the world. As a Christian, we should have that compassion. But are you so focused on the good you can do, should do, or need to do in the world – or on saving the world – that it distracts you from the charges God has put in your path? Are you loving, teaching, and guiding those who have been placed in your care to the last and highest degree?

If we are not faithful with the handful of people, or the little, that God has given us, how then, could we aspire to reach the world? How could He trust us to be responsible with more?

And so with that note I shall say goodnight. ]]> grace86 https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?10294-Compassion-for-Souls-and-Honoring-One’s-Charge https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?10247-Testing-testing-is-this-thing-on Wed, 21 Apr 2010 16:00:58 GMT April 20th, 2010 “My friend, I am going to tell you the story of my life, as you wish; and if it were only the story of my life I think I would... April 20th, 2010

“My friend, I am going to tell you the story of my life, as you wish; and if it were only the story of my life I think I would not tell it; for what is one man that he should make much of his winters, even when they bend him like a heavy snow? So many other men have lived and shall live that story, to be grass upon the hills.”
-John G. Neihardt from Black Elk Speaks

So perhaps it has been awhile since I have taken to the pen and page, or in this case, to typing on the laptop, but it seems that times have called for me the necessity to write again. And for some reason, writing this blog seems to be more appropriate than hiding things away within the pages of a dusty journal that sits by my bedside. Over and over again throughout this past year, there have been numerous people who have come to me with claims that I will be a writer, or that based off of talent, that I should become a writer. Edifying as those comments and thoughts have been, the notion of what exactly to write about has plagued me and thus prevented me from committing to the idea. Nor do I exactly have a foundation for writing – unless of course one considers infinitely many college essays, a stack of a dozen or so personal journals, or…my love of literature.

A new friend of mine, after hearing about my love for reading, asked me to tell him a story. A bit perplexed, I asked what kind of story he would like for me to share with him, because I have read many genres of books. Much to his amusement, and to my astonishment, he asked that I make one up and type it to him via text message! After denying that I had the capability to do so, I eventually caved a day or so later and told him a story. What surprised me about it though was that it was, for the most part, autobiographical. He managed to start the gears that now go cranking through my head as I go about my day to day business. And granted, my thoughts and my story may not be all that important, but perhaps to someone it may offer, in the least, some sort of entertainment. And at the most, maybe the story of my God, my life, literature, love, and learning at this quarter life stage could provide some sort of guidance or importance to someone out there…somewhere.

Personally, I find it an interesting time to start this pursuit seriously - mainly because of the difficulties that have arisen in the post-undergraduate-college months. Being fresh out of university, with a slight chip on the shoulder, a naïve sentiment of being able to save the world, and a fear of being useless, has created quite a number of days of frustration amidst the endless search for what to do next with my life. The world is such a big place to seemingly shut myself into only one career path for potentially the rest of my life, and at this moment I stand with eyes wide, and it seems as if the training wheels have been taken off of my metaphorical bicycle, I cannot help but feel rather small. The question of, “what do I want to do now?” has placed me between a rock and a hard place, where I find myself optimistically hoping I am just small enough to slip through the cracks between the two. This next chapter of life I know will take a lot of hard work, courage, boldness, humor and a little bit of elbow grease, but there are also some mornings when I wake up squeezing my eyes shut tight just hoping for an epiphany to come to mind. This should be the exciting part of the novel, where the plot thickens, where there are unexpected turns, and where the reader sees the hero grow in ways that carry her through until the last page ends.

And so I shall start to post to this blog, and hope that there will be some novelty involved for the readers who choose to follow this. There will be ups and downs of course, frustrations and triumphs too I am sure. And it will all seem like a normal life. But I think that is what makes it interesting, because I think it is safe to say, we are all pretty normal mixed in with a little bit of quirky. And it is that quirky that makes us interesting and gives us our individual story.

This will be therapeutic for me, as some of the seemingly unique quarter life difficulties are in essence, rather normal for my age. Venting them out to those who would be willing victims and confidants who will offer advice will certainly help prevent my having a quarter life crisis. But I think this will also be an exercise – so that I can hone in on my strengths and weaknesses in writing – and thus do more than just entertain the thought of becoming a writer. So please, offer criticism if you would enjoy to do so. You may also just enjoy silently reading on as I offer up my experiences and haphazard attempts at poignant meditations of God, life, love, learning and literature…and that is okay too. And so I say, goodnight! ]]> grace86 https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?10247-Testing-testing-is-this-thing-on https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?8570-Mysterious-Ways Fri, 17 Jul 2009 17:39:48 GMT I have a confession to make so please be understanding. Yesterday afternoon as I was driving home on the freeway I was talking to God. Coming home... I have a confession to make so please be understanding.

Yesterday afternoon as I was driving home on the freeway I was talking to God. Coming home from yet another doctor's appointment where I became a pin cushion, I was asking God how in the world He would make things work out. To pay for my vaccinations for this year's Guatemala trip, I had just written a bad check in good faith that He would move on my behalf to provide.

I mean, He has to. The Lord is sending me to Guatemala for yet a second missions trip, and believe me, with trying to keep gas in my car and wondering how in the world I am going to pay rent for August 1st, writing a bad check for vaccinations was the last thing that worried me. But it worried me at that moment.

It was the icing on the cake so to speak and I was coasting down the freeway and complaining to God, "I know You're sending me to Guatemala, and I want to go, but if I can't pay my rent I can't go...I mean, I can't even pay for the vaccinations! You said You'd provide!"

So I got home, I'd grabbed the mail to see if there were any straggling donation checks...nope...and walked up to my front door and said hello to Pumpkin, the orange alley cat who all of a sudden has taken an interest in me. Crammed in the door was a small "Sorry We've Missed You!" notice. I'd missed a delivery from the mail man. I called and the woman on the line told me I would have to pick up my express mail envelope before 5:30 or the next morning (today) at 8:00.

The Lord had put it on my heart to participate in vacation bible school for the local kids in my area so I had to wait until this morning to pick up this mystery envelope. On the card under sender's name I recognized the last name that was scribbled to be that of my aunt's. So I thought that maybe my aunt had decided to send me something...her and I hadn't talked in awhile but she's always really ambitious to help me in my pursuits no matter how crazy I seem to the rest of the world. I had sent her a support letter for my Guatemala trip but was almost positive she wouldn't respond. Guess life is full of surprises.

But when I picked up the letter this morning, I pulled the tab off and noticed that the name on the return address was not that of my aunt's, but of a friend I have never met who happens to have the same last name as she does. Included was a letter.

Talk about surprises! The letter explained reasons for long absences of conversation and discussed the blessings of a new job and then apologized for the need to send a hasty typed up letter via express mail...which made me laugh. It had been hoped the letter would reach me before the 18th. I noticed it was sent the 15th, and had I been home to receive it, I would have received it on the 16th...so the post office definitely rushed it :).

This friend wanted to help me on my trip to Guatemala and enclosed a check. I paused and laughed. God is an on time God. He makes me laugh because whenever I start to complain He shows me up...in a way telling me, "See I told you I would do it!" So the money goes into the bank account and affirms God's word when He told me to write a check for vaccinations that in my mind I knew would bounce. It goes to my trip.

So God is definitely good. It wasn't the money nor the amount that makes me say this; it is the sheer fact that whenever I need Him, He shows up. So I'm going to stop letting the enemy beat me up...if my God wants me to go on this trip, He will assure me that the rent will get paid so I have a home to return to, and that there will be every other provision that I may need. My pastor told me that when we are operating in the calling that God has for our lives that that is where our provision is. Right now it seems missionary work is where my calling is, and there has been provision.

This friend was a LitNetter. And there have been other LitNetters that have helped me operate in what God has called me to do through their prayers and donations. Now here is the confession...I didn't expect it. It is so mysterious and like God how He will use ways in which we do not expect to get us what we need...as if He is just proving that what happens is God and not man or coincidence.

I sent a support letter for Guatemala 2009 out to 53 people exactly. This number is because I prayed over my list before creating it. It took me a long time to getting to write the letter, because I didn't want to send a letter. It wasn't my desire to send a letter that obviously asked people to send me money, some of whom might think I'd be asking them to fund my crazy naive ambitions. Some of them wouldn't understand that God has blessed me to see something great.

In making the list, God told me who to send my letter off to. And the truth of the matter is, the few specific friends here on LitNet that I sent it to...were the last to be added on the list. I fought with God and told Him that I did not want to send a letter to people who I thought didn't have any reason to send a donation, after all, I've never met them.

It's funny when I think about it now because I've had some awesome times and conversations with the people here I sent the letter to. And God surprised me. It was never what was written on the check that made me cry and praise God...it was your testimonies...why you were donating, where you are at in your relationship with the Lord....in giving my letter to these few here on litnet, I learned a lot about what happens when God touches a heart.

So I just wanted to share with all litnet readers that there are some awesome people and they have some wonderful testimonies and stories to tell of their lives...even if they didn't exactly tell me their story. It's very touching and insightful and I have learned a lot of God and how He has moved in my friends' lives here.

Your prayers and support have made you part of this mission trip. Whatever God does in the people of Guatemala, however I experience His love and movement, however He is glorified...you are a very big part of it. You have helped to make it happen and have helped my faith and courage increase - and this will be crucial for my experience there. Thank you for helping me grow, and thank you for letting God use you.

God is going to do some amazing things. So my promise is to be more diligent in recording it this year. I owe it to you to return with news of His work. So stay tuned. ]]> grace86 https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?8570-Mysterious-Ways https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?6931-Redeye-The-First-Test-and-Second-Thoughts Mon, 08 Dec 2008 07:14:02 GMT “…All that thou commandest us we will do, and whithersoever thou sendest us, we will go.” – Joshua 1:16 “And we know that all things work together...

“…All that thou commandest us we will do, and whithersoever thou sendest us, we will go.” – Joshua 1:16

“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” – Romans 8:28

The first scripture was our mission. The second one was part of my testimony. Little did I know that it would reverberate almost audibly in my spirit its undying truth all throughout my trip…and so soon.

We got through LAX and customs easily enough so that I barely remember it. We all checked in two bags and one carry on, one suitcase for us, one suitcase with gifts and tools to aid our trip. Josh was a little irked at having to check the guitar, but it wasn’t his, so he wasn’t too upset. He was more anxious about this being his first flight, and I was excited to be sitting next to him. As I mentioned in the last entry, we had been getting pretty close during the summer.

July 29th and we were off at last. A long time it had been since first hearing about the trip in February. But the forty day fast and spiritual boot camp couldn’t prepare me for what I was about to experience. Abigail had to sit in the front of the plane, seeing as she was a minor (I still don’t understand). Katie sat with her daughter Amy across the aisle from me. And I sat next to Josh. Gina was sitting with Alicia if I remember correctly. My only disappointment was that there was an older gentleman sitting at the window seat so Josh couldn’t have it. But it was dark anyway.

We had a red eye flight and it was very late. We ended up getting to Georgia sometime at like six in the morning. We talked for a little while before Amy asked him to sit next to her. I had an aisle seat on one row, and he went to sit on the aisle seat on the next row, so he could talk to both of us. The conversation quickly became one for two people, and I noticed something about myself I didn’t like. Yes, I’ve gotten jealous before, but only in a very minor way. But something about the way they were talking had me itching to jump out of the plane. I didn’t like her; I didn’t like her because there was so much TO like about her and I was afraid Josh would notice it as well.

The plane grew quiet as passengers fell asleep. Pastor Katie had taken something to let her sleep. I closed my eyes because try as I might, I hadn’t been able to be a part of the conversation going on next to me. But I couldn’t sleep if I had wanted to. On the quiet plane Amy was laughing and kept Josh’s attention…the whole red eye flight. Non-stop conversation and non-stop aggravation on my part. Never in my life had I been so entirely jealous. I soon realized that the thoughts going through my head were not my own. I knew myself and who I was in Christ, and even in my unsaved days, jealousy was not an attribute included in my personality.

I turned my head away even with my eyes closed towards the gentleman sleeping. I opened them from the ache at keeping them closed. Thoughts of jealousy quickly turned into a wretched tug of war on my heart of how there was no reason that I should be going on this trip. After all, between Amy, Gina and Abigail, they had everything they needed to minister to the people in Guatemala. There was nothing I could contribute to the team and I wasn’t good at anything. Tears flooded my eyes and I suppressed a sob. Knowing way ahead of time that Josh was going on this trip and that he and I were getting close, I had spent a long time praying prior to the trip about keeping God’s will ahead of me first and foremost. There was enough drama back home, and both of us understood that God’s will comes first. So I had managed to put aside any ties I had with Josh on a personal level in favor of keeping level headed about my task for God. So amidst this great desire to tell Katie when we got to Georgia that I wanted to turn around and go home or just strangling Amy, I realized that what was going on in my spirit was something bigger than me. I calmed down a little and told God what He already knew…that my heart was being attacked on a level that I couldn’t handle. His grace needed to cover me now or else I wouldn’t be able to do what He’d asked of me…what a waste considering I had battled so much to get to that point. I prayed and prayed and prayed.

God of course, is always listening to the cries of His children. No it wasn’t immediate, but He calmed me down. He even reminded me of my heart and why I wanted to go on this trip in the first place…I had printed out my blog entry “A Calling?” and had placed it in my Bible. In a moment where I had convinced myself I had no worth on this trip, I opened my Bible on the plane under the dark little overhead light of the row in front of me, found it, and read it. A tear fell and I thanked Him. I scribbled on the back side of it, “for when I hit the wall,” a situation we were told might occur.

God also helped me direct my testimony. Under that same light as they were talking next to me, I turned my spirit away from the previous issue. God gave me Romans 8:28 and I perfected my testimony to a small speech about three minutes long. My focus was coming back.

We got off the plane in Georgia and I was perhaps the only one who had TRIED to get some sleep and hadn’t succeeded. We walked through the airport to our next gate. Among terrible attempts at breakfast and Bible study, we awaited the next four hours in the chairs. Never before have I slept on a cold airport floor before with an inflatable pillow, huddled in my Guatemala team sweatshirt, but we were after all, now in the missions field. Cold, cranky and hungry I was a little more personable than I should have been considering the first part of the plane trip; I made it a point to take a walk with Abigail and Alicia to help circulation. But I was still a little cool with Josh as he tried to talk to me. But I made my efforts to get over it. He had asked me once what was wrong, and whenever he does ask me, it is pointless to hide it and say “nothing,” because he usually knows when I am lying in that answer. So I told him I’d tell him later. He was a little reluctant to let it go, and on one occasion as we were walking along the terminal in the group, he nudged me and asked, “When are you gonna tell me what’s wrong?”

Truthfully, I was ashamed at having been so jealous. I’d never been that way before. Even throughout the trip I had to convince myself that it was not me who had felt that, but rather it was an attack since it was so unusual. And, I was also ashamed of thoughts I’d placed on Josh…he was not tied to me, and who’s to say it wasn’t God’s will for him and Amy to get to know each other? I know it sounds naïve and love struck to say the least, but I know his heart and who he is, and yes, it WAS wrong of me to think so badly of him. If you do think I am naïve, please keep it to yourself…I’m young I know.

So my focus was back; despite any feelings Josh and I had for each other prior to leaving for Guatemala, the drama that had encircled us back home would have to stay there. Issues regarding the both of us had led someone to say that the trip would be like a romance movie, or something along that sort. So from early on I had realized the potential distractions on this trip, and early on I had begun praying about it. As we were awaiting the flight to Guatemala City, I realized yet another task I had before me: to love Amy. Though the battle on the plane was over, there were still two weeks ahead of us being together and surely more battles would come to surface in this war. And as I mentioned in my last entry, God really put us together.

So next came the flight to Georgia to Guatemala City and the village of La Gomera. Another story and yet another test… ]]> grace86 https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?6931-Redeye-The-First-Test-and-Second-Thoughts https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?6925-Spiritual-Bootcamp-and-Then-Some Sun, 07 Dec 2008 06:43:52 GMT Thought I'd take a break from the weekend of hardcore studying (haha) and post some more on my trip to Guatemala. I know, I am terrible...bear with me please.

It might be nice to introduce you to the team of Guatemala 08 before I talk about them. Actually, it'd be easier to understand some of the stories if you have a face to put to a name.

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From left to right, a little about the team:

Pastor Katie: Her and her husband pastor a small church in the area in Chino. She was the head and mastermind of the trip out to Guatemala. Throughout the trip she was like a mother hen, always counting her chicks to make sure we're all accounted for. At first she seemed a little intimidating, but she was really laid back and an amazing person to lead the trip. Funny but authoritative and responsible. Completely willing to have the Holy Spirit lead the trip. I love this woman. She delivered powerful messages full of fire in a place where women pastors aren't exactly esteemed. It was really cool to have her lead my first missions trip out. Interestingly enough she has gone all over Latin America and doesn't know a word of Spanish!

Me: You all know me. I've been saved since 2002, but really been living my life for the Lord since I joined my church's praise team about three years ago. Leading praise and worship has changed my walk, and I love the Lord with all my heart. This would be my first missions trip, at 22 years old.

Gina: Best friends with Pastor Katie's younger daughter. She was quiet and had done many missions before, but when you get her together with Amy it was always a blast. She has a really sweet and humble heart. She lives and goes to church in Carlsbad...a couple hours south of me.

Abigail: Only one from out of state, from Ohio. And she was also the youngest at 15 years old. She's done missions trips before to Mexico. She has a pure heart and loves children's ministry and also does many other ministry positions at her church, including praise and worship as well.

Amy: Pastor Katie's daughter, can you see the resemblence? She is I think 24 years old. She is an amazing person and was good at everything she did. It was her first missions trip. She sings beautifully having done opera classes, loves children, and was the comical life of the trip. She also took all the photos and is a blessed photographer. Comical, smart and beautiful she was able to make friends with everyone. I love her so much and God had us connected on so many levels. I ministered to her and yet she was a big test on my faith as well.

Josh: Obviously the only guy on the trip, and the praise team leader at my church. His first missions trip as well. I got to know him on a different level than how I know him as I do at church. God has called him to pastor one day. This trip was different than he'd expected in that he had counted solely on street ministry, healing people, and raising people from the dead. Face painting, children's ministry, balloon animals and dramas were a new aspect of service than he was used to. He played Jesus in all of our dramas :D.

Alicia: Diehard missionary, she's gone all over the place. When we lacked in translators, she was all over it. She made sure the team was taken care of too...always bringing food along for the drives, hikes and walks. She always had a conversation going and a knack for getting to know the people.

There they are. Seven people, Pastor Katie's smallest group. Only one guy in an instance where there's usually a higher ratio. And all of us were adults, save one. All unique characteristics in this group compared to Pastor Katie's usual teams.

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Training camp was interesting for me. It was only about three days long and yet I learned so much about myself even prior to the trip.

We did a lot of packing of gifts for the people we would meet and the children we would minister to. It was a new experience for me to do the dramas. But as Gina was in charge of that, she emphasized the importance they had in bringing forth a message in the midst of language barriers. We practiced them until we had them uniquely perfected. It was also the beginning of that notion where missionaries have to eat everything that is put in front of them. That was interesting for me. :D Is it strange to say I'd never eaten fish tacos before! In thinking about the trip prior to training camp, I had thought this would be the hardest aspect for me to deal with along with the possibility of not showering. It turns out I was able to bathe everyday...save for the three days at training camp...how ironic.

I got to know everyone pretty well when we were at camp, sticking pretty close to Abigail, Pastor Katie and Alicia. Try as I may, it seemed as though Amy and Gina stuck very close in what seemed like a type of clique. I noticed though how well Josh seemed to be getting along with them. Something I easily overlooked in the beginning.

Amidst the rush of making bracelets, preparing gifts, dramas, and bible study, Pastor Katie wanted us to come up with our testimonies so that we'd be able to tell them to an audience in less than three minutes. It turns out this was really difficult for me to do. But I thought I would just throw out there the story of how I got saved in 2002 (a later story). As Josh led us in worship in one of the youth rooms at the church where we were staying, I was talking to God and realized He didn't want me to tell that testimony.

It was a really long emotional road for me to get to training camp. I had battled it out with more than a mother who was less than comforting regarding my trip. The day before I left for boot camp she had let me know how disappointed she was that I went against her wishes. My oldest brother had called Pastor Katie, and knowing both Josh and myself very personally, he decided to inform Katie that, should anything scary or dangerous happen in Guatemala, Josh and I would lose our minds. But, whenever he spoke to me, he was always supportive. Thanks a lot right. He had even given me a letter I couldn't read to give to Pastor Katie. Aside from the family issue, there was also my relationship. For many months I had been talking about my trip with my fiance, and even when he became my ex-fiance, we still talked about the trip. But he was less supportive of my trip; according to him it was because of my zealous and radical involvement in the church that I left him. But it was because I love God.

So as I worshipped in that room, God told me that my testimony to bring to Guatemala was the story of how my life had changed in order that I had enough faith to be in that room that day...just preparing for that trip. He wanted me to tell the story of how I'd left all my plans to marry the wrong guy..what it took to leave, how it hurt to leave, but how obedience to God's will brings about such a blessing on my life. I cried at worship.

I was so nervous to rehash my testimony in front of my six team mates. We all sat at that table and I could feel my heart beating. Josh and I had had a summer thing going on, and I didn't want him to see me cry at all...let alone about my old relationship!

This was the first time we told our testimonies, so it was natural that they took more than three minutes to let out. As they started, it was easy to see why. Tears started coming from every pair of eyes as they told their stories. All of us had amazing stories that led to us being there that day, and on that trip. I realized that this would be the start of something new...that I had never started to get so close to people so soon. They got to me, and I told them about Nick, and about my family, and about how I am willing to let go of everything I am and want because of how God has moved in my life...that if I were not able to worship Him with my life, if He had not touched me the way He had...I would have no clue who I'd be. The tears came out. I hadn't known I'd felt so convicted in my heart of the words I'd spoken. And Josh gave his testimony too. I had known it, but until then I had not realized how similar our stories were.

So it turned out that each one of us had testimonies that spoke to a particular audience, and yet were so similar as it was easy to see God's hand in bringing us together.

As we finished up the days at camp, the dramas got easier and we all got closer knowing each other's personal lives a little more intimately. We had been staying at a church for the weekend, and as we prepared to leave for LAX Abigail, Amy, Gina and I realized that running around barefoot had left the underside of our feet a completely different skin tone, and that our hair had become quite greasy. The church had no showers...but it did have an industrial kitchen...

As we packed our things Katie emphasized how important it was to try and look as fresh as we could when we arrived in Guatemala. Hmm..right. After attempts at freshening up, there was still the deal of the hair...the four of us girls took turns washing our hair in the industrial sink in the kitchen :lol:, a feat that proved the necessity of a partner to do! Abigail directed the corded faucet to wash my hair as I did hers, and Gina and Amy did likewise. Never had I been so happy to wash my hair! So...what was I to expect in Guatemala??

Alicia prepared snacks from the leftovers of the amazing food and snacks that volunteers and the church had provided us, and we took a ton of pictures of departure...not that we stopped taking pictures ever, there are a ton of the drama practices, packing and general insanity from the whole training camp experience.

The vans picked us up, Katie kissed her husband goodbye as he let us know he would keep in contact so as to let our families know how we were doing. I was so excited to be leaving, and a little nervous as well. I didn't even mind that our trip was going to be so long, six hours and then a four hour stopover in Georgia, and then another six hours to Guatemala City.

But little had I known that what I had so easily overlooked would become my biggest test so early on.... ]]> grace86 https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?6925-Spiritual-Bootcamp-and-Then-Some https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?6584-They-Came-to-Love-And-that-was-Enough Fri, 17 Oct 2008 20:43:23 GMT Don't read this unless you've already read the previous entry titled, "Understanding the Mission."

This is the article written by Ami, the Foursquare missionary we met down in Guatemala. Just thought I'd share her viewpoint on our being in Guatemala.


They Came to Love and That was Enough...
Saturday, August 16, 2008

I just dropped a group of seven off at the airport early Monday morning. I had picked them up from the same airport 12 days prior, not really knowing who all of them were, nor knowing what agenda they were coming with. It’s great to have teams come down; to be able to connect with people that are like me, that think like I think, that speak English… But you also never really know if they’re going to be more headache than help, coming into a culture they don’t know, for only a short time, with all their American ideas and ways of thinking. It can be quite difficult hosting them at times, feeling the offenses they don’t realize they are making towards a people so different from them.

That was not the case with this team. I met up with them in La Gomera, a small town near the hot tropical pacific coast two days after they had gotten here. They were out visiting families when I arrived… not just visiting families; they were knowing a people, caring about them. They didn’t mind that they walked around all day with arm-pit stains from the humidity or that they their feet were swollen from mosquito bites. I watched them walk through those streets with compassion. They couldn’t communicate well, not speaking much Spanish, but their hearts spoke, there was something inviting in their eyes as they longed to see people find wholeness in Christ. Maybe they didn’t speak many words but they received people in their arms and were Christ’s love incarnate to them. They spent five days in La Gomera, at a new church that started from zero, just a young Guatemalan man with a passion for people lives to be dredged up out of obscurity.

It seemed by some standards that they weren’t accomplishing much, the services were nothing huge, and they didn’t construct any physical building that would outlast their stay. But there was nothing insignificant about what they accomplished. The people they got to know were people that have lived hard lives, with not many breaks, fighting poverty and violence that has gone on for generations, and this team came in as a ray of hope. They loved people they knew not, and planted seeds of life and hope. Maybe they will never see their effects but I am certain they are great.

After their five days came to end in La Gomera their sleeping got a little comfier as they left behind the hard church floor and came to the city, but they continued their walk, through some of the dirtiest places of Guatemala City to know and love others. They went out at night with El Castillo to wash the feet of the street children and give them clean socks. There were some boys that felt a gentleness they had not known before. The following day we went around and picked up some of those same kids to take them to a beautiful park in the forest. They spent time playing with them, praying over them and teaching them to be brave like David and trust in God as he had.

It was difficult at the end of the day when the team had to help drop the kids back off in the alleys and dumps where they came from, but what they did that day was no small thing. There was no immediate change in the kids lives, but the team showed them beauty, took them out of the reality where they dwell and showed them that something better exists. In the darkness where they live there is no better, they can barely imagine tomorrow let alone trust in themselves to believe that life could change. Hope was planted in their hearts, something to strive for and to long for, and with that hope, along with the long term ministries working on their behalf, real change can come.

They came to a foreign land with no agenda but to love. They did not demand recognition or seek only results, but they believed that it was enough to know that had served God and be used by him for his good purpose, and because of that they did much.

What I ask of you says the Lord is that you would act justly, love mercy and walk humbly with your God. Micah 6:8 ]]> grace86 https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?6584-They-Came-to-Love-And-that-was-Enough https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?6583-Understanding-the-Mission Fri, 17 Oct 2008 20:38:11 GMT (I hope you guys are able to comment now, somehow I can't get it to work.)

Perhaps it is about time I start writing about my first mission trip to Guatemala. A dear friend gave me a phone call the other day and mentioned my blogs; he’s been patiently and kindly waiting to hear more about my trip. I have been home for about two months now from Guatemala, and I think it is due time to divulge some of my experiences and inner most thoughts on where my faith took me August 2008.

While it wasn’t the second coming of Christ, it was the first experience of Christ in many of the lives I encountered. Nor was it so horrible and nightmarish to come an inch worth comparing it to the new Rambo movie! But I will say that my ideas of what mission work was like were off – and so were my fears.

As Christians, we are sometimes the only way people get to experience who Christ is. It is the Holy Spirit living in us and moving through us that people see. In our walk, Christ should be so alive in us that He is all the world sees when they view us. A lot of times we think of Christ, and we think of the huge miraculous things He did. This is fine, because we cannot forget the mighty power at work in Christ. But we cannot forget His human side. A pastor that I know explains it thus: “Christ wasn’t so Heaven bound that he wasn’t no Earthly good.” What I am saying is that we cannot forget what Christ would have us do: “To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction…” James 1:27

When Christ walked the Earth, He did not set Himself up and apart from the needy nor flaunt His royalty. He served with love and humility the broken and needy. He touched the untouchable (Matthew 8:1-4) and loved where it seemed there could be no love. He went where ever the Father commanded Him.

To be like Christ was our job in Guatemala. Our job was to love and to serve and to do whatever God willed us to do.

It would seem that my life is only subtlety different because the changes that have taken place are not of the physical kind. It seems easiest to talk about the down time I had in Guatemala where mission work was not on the list of things to do those days. But my favorite days are not those which I hiked up volcanoes, bartered for my hammock or went zip lining down a tropical valley. My favorite days are those which are the hardest to talk about.

Of the reasons that I do not like to talk about Guatemala is that my words do not do the experience of God’s work any justice at all. To what may seem so small of actions to the world, were the biggest blessings and miracles to the littlest of children and to the poverty stricken families, and even to the team itself.

Before I left to Guatemala, my vision of missionary work was based solely on the ideas of constructing houses, bringing babies back from the dead and huge-crowd evangelism. While these things are definitely not bad, the mission field I experienced was quite different than what I had given myself over to believe. The entries following this one will explain selected experiences and I will try my best to share with you the story of God’s work in La Gomera, Guatemala City, the lives of the Guatemalans, the team, and even myself. God was so multi-faceted and always at work on so many different levels. We came to teach, serve and to love, and we were also taught, served and loved ourselves. I think that this mission trip was not just an opportunity for God to use me to aid others, but for Him to help me grow a little further into the person He would have me be. If I was a quiet person before Guatemala, perhaps today I am even a little further more introspective in some regard, and a lot louder in other areas where it counts.

You will not find me boasting of what we did to serve God’s people. I don’t like talking about the trip because I would hate for people to think that we’d want any credit for what God has done. In being humble I am perhaps not sharing the fullness of what God has done, but I will break the ice with an article following this entry, written by Ami, the missionary we met in Guatemala who aided us in more ways than we can thank properly. Her article was written shortly after our team returned to the States. It is her view on the two week long trip. After the article is posted, I will introduce the team and get into specific details from my trip.

I pray you will be blessed by reading and that God gets all the glory from what I write. It may not seem like we did anything huge, but as long as we touched hearts and lives, it was all worth it. As Ami said, “They came to love, and that was enough.” ]]> grace86 https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?6583-Understanding-the-Mission https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?6278-Beneath-the-Stairs Thu, 04 Sep 2008 17:19:26 GMT Stop and think of the little things in your life. Sometimes the things that seem so small and that go overlooked in your day to day activity end... Stop and think of the little things in your life.

Sometimes the things that seem so small and that go overlooked in your day to day activity end up being some of the most beautiful, foundational, or the most important things in your life. So often we take the little things for granted; there seems to be much bigger, more important or worthier things that occupy our time.

Over the past couple of weeks I have learned to cherish the little things that happen in my life from what happened beneath the stairs of my apartment complex unit.

One thing I like the most about being in my new complex is that the area is not dominated by snobbish or partying college students. There are people from all walks of life that inhabit the apartments next to mine. There are children, there is noise and people go about doing their thing out of necessity. There are also animals. When I first moved there I realized that there was never a dull moment; people arguing, children playing, cars bumping their music...

This might seem like it gets distracting. But I love the noise. I love to know that there is life around me. It's not incredibly noisy, so please don't think that. But I guess I am the type of person that takes comfort in knowing that there are others around me. My biggest problem at my last complex was that not one of my neighbors was friendly! When I sit in a classroom or go to a store, I like to get to know the people around me. So this is the same philosophy I carry with me at home...I would love to know my neighbors.

I am a bottom corner apartment. There is a woman and her young daughter across the hall. Directly up the stairs and above me is a family with a couple of teenage boys. Across from them there is an old Persian woman.

When I first moved in I was a little annoyed that this Persian woman fed the all the alley cats right at the foot of the stairs. There were dishes in the way and I smelled cat food. The woman across my hall put her daughter's bikes right under the stairs in front of my apartment...and I thought to myself, this is going to be a bit of an adjustment.

Time went by. One evening I came out of my apartment and noticed one of the alley cats in front of my neighbor's door. The cat was a female black calico. She was crouched over on my neighbor's doormat. Carefully guarded by her two front legs were three small kittens. I hadn't known she was pregnant...no surprise though because the Persian woman upstairs kept feeding all the darn cats! So I left.

The next day my neighbor across the hall had set up a box and blanket for the female and her kittens. Turns out there were four kittens in total. Several days after that, the woman across the hall set up a tent/tarp like structure for the cat and kittens underneath the stairs. She had used the bicycles to prop up the blanket. And still the old Persian woman upstairs came to feed the cats.

Some how in the midst of the days and as time continued, I found myself playing with the kittens...and conversing with all the neighbors in my unit. I got to know the neighbors and their work schedules, and I even got to know their children. About two weeks after the mother cat had settled, I came out one morning to find that the other female stray that had been fed also had kittens...and she had kicked the first mother out of the safe spot made. Eventually it came to be that there were two mother cats under the stairs in this safe haven, with their eight kittens!

The woman upstairs continued to feed and care for them while the woman across the hall continued to clean up after the cats. The kittens grew and we all played with them and made it a joint effort to find homes for each one.

What I had once considered annoyances brought me comfort.

The old Persian woman said she fed the cats because they were poor and needed someone to look after them. Had it not been for this sentiment and the caring of the woman across my hall, perhaps a conversation never would have started. If that is the case, a relationship with these people wouldn't have started either.

So it doesn't sound like much to some of you. But to someone who lives by herself, it means a lot to know one's neighbors. I admit there was a small tinge of excitement when my neighbor across the hall, Jennifer, left me notes taped to my front door with information regarding which kitten had been blessed with finding a home. It was also a peaceful experience to see the Persian woman's granddaughter and Jennifer's own daughter playing with the kittens as I got home from work. What was also another neat observation was the way in which one mother cat would take care of the other's kittens while the one mother took a break from motherhood.

I don't know. I guess my point is to reiterate to you the importance of the often overlooked or the seemingly unimportant. Small things make up the biggest part of our life. I am not asking you to make every single thing in your life to be absolutely the most important. Just observe and be thankful. After all, small distractions and annoyances have saved people's lives you know. Cherish the small and you will start to see how God really does bless you and loves you.

I can tell you personally that what happened beneath the stairs blessed me more than I can put into the words here.


....and yes....I adopted a kitten too.... :) ]]> grace86 https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?6278-Beneath-the-Stairs https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?6149-Back-in-California Wed, 20 Aug 2008 19:26:05 GMT I've gotten some messages and emails. Yes I am back home from my missions trip to Guatemala. It's nice to be here but I am not saying, "home sweet home," like some people might have thought. Rather, I am saying to myself and to those who ask, "If I could have stayed in Guatemala, I would have."

Right now is not really the time for me to be blogging about it. There are some mental, spiritual and emotional things I am working through being back home and being in the work environment prevents me from getting long winded.

Though, all you guys here have been on my heart and I definitely plan on giving you all the update. So, be patient, and I will be loving.

Just one note though before I leave for lunch. My pastor advisor on the trip assured us that life would be different when we got back home. I thought to myself that it wouldn't be as bad as they say; it is. But truly, life is wonderful even if my life has changed. Only for the better.

Thank you so much for the prayers throughout the trip. It has been more help than you understand. ]]> grace86 https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?6149-Back-in-California https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?5979-grace86-s-Blog Sat, 26 Jul 2008 00:03:00 GMT The time is here!

Guatemala in two days! I will be back ya'll in two weeks and I will let you know what happened while I was there, then hopefully I will get to my regular intention of blogging!

Didn't get many responses to my last entry so I am thinking I managed to offend those who thought of sticking around, at least people read. But I will see when I get back whether or not I should continue...interesting test drive though.

I am so excited and scared at the same time, this trip is going to be amazing! It seems like a seed has already been planted and all God is having us do is cultivate it to help it grow. There has been some amazing things down there and God has already been moving.

Please keep us in your prayers as well as the people we will reach and pray that God moves and touches their hearts.

Peace and love and blessings on all of you. ]]> grace86 https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?5979-grace86-s-Blog https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?5929-grace86-s-Blog Fri, 18 Jul 2008 19:10:54 GMT

"And Jesus came and spake unto them, saying, all power is given unto me in heaven and earth. Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen." Matthew 28: 18-20

"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever" Hebrews 13:8

This is not where I planned on starting, but time calls for me to start somewhere, and to start quickly.

There came a point in my walk where there was a severe realization of how REAL Jesus is. Since February, God has been showing me that when we ask Him to use us, that is indeed what He does. We are the only ones that hinder our walk and how close we get to Him for the Holy Spirit is a gentleman and will not go where He is not wanted. If we ask in an earnest heart, we can be assured that He has heard us.

After I was saved, I asked God to help me find a church, and this is what He did. I asked Him to get me involved, and He did. I asked Him for help...and He did. But all of these are different stories which I will tell later. See, I don't want to give the impression that God is a genie. If anyone is under that impression, you are dead wrong. Everything is for God's glory.

Then I asked God if I could do His work, if He would walk with me, because nothing else is worth it if He is not with me and I am in love with Him...

People have a tendency to get uncomfortable when God becomes real to them. Someone explained it to me this way: we are like a glass table top, it looks pretty and clean in the dark, but when you open up the blinds and let the sun hit it, you can see all the smudges. This makes people uncomfortable. God does not make people comfortable all of the time. Sometimes, more often than not, He asks us to do things that make us terribly uncomfortable and that are inconvenient to our lifestyles.

But then...I remembered...this is what I asked for.

About this time last year, an evangelist visited our small Pentecostal church. He prophesied to many. To this day I don't remember his name and I can barely remember what he looked like. All I remember is standing in a particular part of the sanctuary, my hands raised, and him putting his hand on my head. He told me I would be a missionary. I laughed at the thought, and pretty much at him (keep in mind I have been saved for a long time here). Nice idea buddy, but that is sooo not me. Sounds like just a bunch of generalized prayer and fluff to get the word out.

I laughed at the thought and the poor guy!

Well...today I am sitting here at my office computer cramming this blog in. There is a sore spot on my left arm where the travel clinician shot me with Hepatitis A vaccinations and my stomach is growling because the Typhoid vaccination needs to be absorbed into my system before I can eat. Today, I am not laughing at the ridiculousness of the thought of me being a missionary. Today, I am filled with excited anxiety that I am leaving to do God's work with the realization of how much He is in love with me and I with Him. There is no other place I would rather be at this moment than knowing He is sending me to Guatemala to do His work...and that He will be walking with me the whole time.

Next weekend, July 27th, I will be leaving to Guatemala to preach the Gospel to those who have never heard Jesus' name, to help build a community around the existing church, to aid homeless children, and just show God's love to those who need to hear it.

When I first was told about this trip in February, it was after God sent another to my church who gave me a word. The man was a youth pastor at a church in the area. For those of you who don't know, I have been leading praise and worship at my church for about two years now. When this man came to pray for those at the altar, my eyes were closed and hands held up; I didn't know he was talking to me until he came up to me with the microphone and had me open my eyes. He told me that when I sing "Holy, Holy, Holy" that the angels come down. That when I sing, people will fall down, people will get saved. He was looking me square in the face the whole time.

Morning service ended and I went about my business as usual. I came back ready for evening service and sat in the back prayer room. The praise and worship leader closed the door and asked if he could talk to me. For some reason I thought I was in trouble, but in fact, this marked something incredibly life changing. He told me that he didn't want me to think that what goes on in the church goes unnoticed. God's angels don't come down for just anyone, and that I am different. As I stared at him wondering what he was getting at, he hesitated and then said, "That's why Pastor Jesse wants you to go to Guatemala."

My mouth dropped open in sheer astonishment and I became for the first time in my life completely speechless. Me?? Mission work?? When I had breath and words I told him I didn't understand why I am to go, I don't know anything about missionary work, I'm not nearly spiritually grown enough...after all I have never led anyone to Christ before.

He assured me that God wouldn't have me go unless He wanted me to go, and if that is the case, then of course He would give me what I needed.

Time goes by. Pastor asks my praise leader, Josh, if he would go. Interestingly enough, he was just as shocked as I was upon hearing that. Now I want you to know, I didn't decide I was going until later, so the year has been quite long in going back and forth with the idea. But God gave me my confirmation with the first scripture in this entry. And my confidence lies within the truth of the second scripture here.

Very recently God gave me a miracle. I will share this with you a little later on. But upon praising God for it, He told me that He is capable of greater things and assured me that there are greater things yet in store for me to be witness of. God's love is so real and so tangible...we are the only ones who hold ourselves back from an incredible out pouring of love and grace.

Knowing God is an active pursuit, a daily relationship, and He moves in our lives everyday and every moment. It is up to us to take that in our hearts and bury ourselves in His love. It is my goal with these entries to show you this. But all I can do is show you what He has done for me and for others I love..the rest is up to you.

So I ask for all of you reading to just keep me in prayer throughout this trip. Not just me, but the others with me, and those who will be hearing the message we bring. I love you all and hope that this message has blessed you a little bit in a small part of your heart. I could go on forever on this one entry topic, but I will end it here.

I will be gone July 27th through August 11th for those curious. We seriously need the support of your prayers.

God bless.
Grace ]]> grace86 https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?5929-grace86-s-Blog https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?5830-grace86-s-Blog Wed, 02 Jul 2008 19:25:56 GMT One final notice! Just checking to see if those of you who might get offended are still reading, did ya read the last blog entry?? Don't say I didn't warn you! So I have cleared the air and made my caution obvious. The next blog entry will be filled with faith. If you have a problem with that, back out now. This will be the last and final time I will say that, because I don't want to riddle my blog entries with the parenthesis (I am sorry if that offends you non-believers) or (I hope no one is offended) or some such exclamation.

Not too sure how the moderators look at blogs since they are personal, but let them know, I have made my intent and caution obvious. :p

I hope this blog found you all well and that you can see my caring sense of humor throughout.

But the next blog will be the start of my story. Hope you will stick around. ]]> grace86 https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?5830-grace86-s-Blog https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?5820-grace86-s-Blog Mon, 30 Jun 2008 23:30:00 GMT I am back. I hope to post more and continue my blogging. At least this will be the case if summer permits. There are some very loved members... I am back.

I hope to post more and continue my blogging. At least this will be the case if summer permits.

There are some very loved members here who care very dearly about how I have been and how I am doing, and what I will be doing. I will be blogging about this hopefully so those of you who fit this category may know these things.

There are also some things in which I am convicted in my heart to blog about.

Unfortunately, these things might offend other members because they pertain to my faith in God. I ask that if you are one of those members who would get offended, please do not continue to read my blogs after this entry. It is not my intention to offend, hurt or insult any member on this forum, but I would ask you to express prudence and respect. If hearing about God offends you, please be smart and steer clear of my blog entries, as we all have the freedom to navigate through this site. But in expressing myself and my life in my blog, it has become necessary for me to express a little bit more of my God.

I do love every member. The above is just a caution, so that every member and I can still maintain a foundation on good terms.

Life has definitely been interesting and I hope to share it with you if my time permits. Hopefully my efforts will be blessed and quite possibly a blessing to you as I let go and open up to you a part of me that isn't completely expressed on the forum as it is to those of you who know me.

Just another blip of information before I end this entry for today. I do not have internet at home so my time here is based off of my work hours and so those of you who wait for PM's, please be patient with me.

Until next time... ]]> grace86 https://www.online-literature.com/forums/entry.php?5820-grace86-s-Blog