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Ok, so similar to the "I believe" entry I have decided to come up with list of what I want from life.

1) I want the bookshop I mentioned in previous entries

2) I want to find a woman to share the rest of my life with

3) I want to be a father

4) I want to retire to Crail


#1 will happen - the store will open, how long it stays open though is anyones guess

#2 possible

#3 least ...

Thats it! I am officially declaring lambing over. Now once again I can enjoy the boon of sleep.
I can slide between crisp white sheets, read a page or two of the current book, and drift away. I shall switch off my internal alarm clock and allow the dawn to wake me at its leisure.
My porridge can be cooked slowly to soften and thicken, the golden syrup allowed to melt from the spoon completely. Then after a second cup of tea I'll head outside and see what's what.

An older poem:

I lost you that day
On the shores of eternity.
You were engulfed by the sea;
Taken as its prisoner

I trembled as I looked on
Across the crescent of the moon
Your silhouette slipping away
Into the unbridled waves.

I lost you that night
To the fervor of the sea.
You left like a ship
Commanded by the stars
Into the Unknown, the uncertain.

Now I never go back ...

I'm sinking into one of those stupid, sad sack, low points. Woe is me.

And even though I know how dumb it is, I still want to cry.

Aaargh Get over it.

You are a scar
Dwelling deep inside of me
Driving me to madness,
Driving me to extinction

You are a blister on my hand
That bursts
And showers me in red warmth,
Comfort in a cold world

You are a burn
Ever present
To never forget
The hot iron I once adored

You are the way of my flesh
The hate that moves me.
Forever will you be
My love.



Yes ...