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I don't understand how one day I can feel so confident and beautiful, and the next I feel ugly, hideous.

The best days are when I'm so happy I don't think about appearances at all. The mirror is irrelevant.
True happiness is not noticing the superficial things.

I've been thinking a lot about mortality, my mortality. I wonder what I could withstand mentally and physically before I gave up.

I think about secret rebels within my body, counting down ...

Snowflakes swirl at the windshield. Lights flash beyond my range of vision, in a world beyond what I can see. The rumble of the engine hums in my gut and my brain, the unchanging presence constant in every corner of my tiny portable universe. My entire world is the cold wheel in my hands and the resistance of the throttle. I know there is life out there. I just can’t see it. I don’t want to see it. All I want is the constant yet ever changing blur of the oncoming storm. Nothing really matters, ...

I'll cut this down from a nine page rant to a nice preview- truck died WHILE DRIVING last night, temperature gauge screwy, carburetor screwed up (again/still,) caused spark plugs to turn pitch black, wouldn't start this morning so I booted the driver side door and broke it so it won't open. For the second time.

does anyone have a good recipe for a pipe bomb or access to C4?

returning home to find, of
course, it's moved elsewhere
in the meantime
maybe back over
seas that brought them
here
last century
or the one before - grey mists
gather in cracks of time
thyme colonises land where
rushes once grew rampant

in an aunt's album
never before shown
a century-old photo
of a cloak-swathed Maori woman
outside a raupo hut
noted 'grandma'

no ...

In light of some things that have happened recently in my life, I have begun to deeply contemplate what I'm going to do with my time here on earth. Now this is not the first time I've thought about the future, not by a long shot. I seem to always go through phases in which I feel so dedicated to some interest or passion, that I am convinced that I will do it for the rest of my life. I've grown older now and have lost that naivety.

Hell, I've always wanted to be a writer. I remember ...