Virgil

Frankly? I thought that yours and one other were head & shoulders above mine! As I commented when it was posted, your choice of rhymes is refreshingly unexpected and the grace with which you arrive at them is beautiful!

The closing couplet is an [obscenity] gem!

But may I ask, why not post it directly in the PP Forum, where it's likely to get the wider audience it deserves? Are you still worried about the plagiarist that used to visit us?

Thank you Prince. Yours was very good too. Not really concerned about the plagerist site, but it seemed redundant to post it in my blog and have it's own thread. I do want to preserve it in my blog for me to access. Ok, I'll post it in the threads too.

Yes, I will say I was very proud of that closing couplet when it came together. I had written the first couple of stanzas, and somehow the closing came to me without the middle part yet. But I did have a direction I was aiming for.

This is great Virgil! Reflects on the importance of willpower, a little bit. Awesome!

This is probably my favorite poem of yours that I have read here, Virgil. As Prince mentioned, the rhymes are strong, and the repeated use of the single-word comma list adds a masculine force to the poem, which echos it's content.

Thank you Skib and Comedian.

The broken body, the mutability of the mind, the body strong yet weak, reflecting femininity; the mind doubting yet tsrong, reflecting masculinity, perfect yin yang, virgil

Thank you Qimi.

Very nicely done, Virgil! I like it.

Thank you Janine.

Aren't you a bit old for a blog, Virgil? I thought these things were for the young and feckless. You seem a little too dignified to go in for this sort of thing. Oh, well. You were bound to lose my respect eventually.

The poem is very strong thematically, though, Virgil. Who knew you could be thoughtful? I like the last terza rima stanza:

What’s there is not there to conceal
The resolution but reveals
In shades the everlasting deal.

That's particularly poignant and well-put. I thought the last couplet was a little redundant, though. We already got the tension between self-improvement and decay. I'm curious why you went in for the kill at the end, when it seem like the subject of the poem had already run its course and died.

Still, good poem. Thanks for putting it out there.

I think I should thank you Quark, but I'm not exactly sure.

First you call me old and then you're surpised i could be thoughtful. Hahaha. I guess I'm an old dope in your eyes.

Thanks for the comments.

Oh, I joke because I love.

I am just not qualified to comment on poetry. I like Dark Muse because her imagery triggers all sorts of reactions and she actually helps me in a rather unorthodox way with issues. Always thought Pendragon's poems were sweet--yours made me flashback to gym class and my mind went into instant shutdown. Sigh, No harm done.

Oh you're funny Rich, and Quark i knew you were kidding.