Silas Thorne's Journal

I really like this Silas, it has an excellent flow. It is a piece to be read aloud, is it not? I love the contrast you present too, between the 'screen follower', following ideas, thought, the intangible while the tangible world flows around him. I think the line breaks are excellent too; especially here:

ebb flow of thought
comments, directly touching fictional presences.

which seems to lever the piece. It's almost clunky, but it works. This bit:

While hunt eyes, dwindling their edges soft

confused me a little, until I got on to the next line then I understood, or at least I think I understood

You should get outside and off the computer. Writing too much?

haha, yes it's me and not me. Perhaps you too? It was a reflection on someone continuously texting on a sunny day, and I've also been guilty of that.

Sorry to have been slow responding to this and the more recent one (which puzzled the hell out of me) but this one has your usual crisp style and as TheFifth noted some very effective line-breaks.