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Progymnasmata

FeO(OH), Fe(OH)3

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9 Comments
by
The Comedian
, 02-22-2010 at 01:48 PM (4430 Views)
This a poem that I submitted for the "Picture Poetry Contest".

Here' the image:



Here's the poem:

FeO(OH), Fe(OH)3

Rust reduces iron and steel
to a fine brown or red dust.

Water is the villain here.
Fe loves O so much
that he robs her twice over from H.
And the villain is quartered by a natural lust.

But perhaps I blame water too much.
Water's like us; we do what we must.

Take a look at the wooden cross.
Fungi can only eat the skeletal fibers
Within each board if they've first been made moist.
A brief rain and they'll eat the cross to dust.

Without water, crosses would last forever
And iron would never rust.

I don't know about that old picture
Of those two young women
Hugging in the FeO(OH), Fe(OH)3
Behind the future sawdust.

I think they're just memories.
And memories, I never trust.
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Comments

  1. applepie's Avatar
    Now that wasn't at all what I expected when I read the title of your poem, and that is in a very good way :) I enjoyed it.
  2. JuniperWoolf's Avatar
    The more that I think about it, the more I like it. There's not enough science-based poetry in the world. I like how you sort of ignore the photograph and find the rust more significant, the last stanza is my favorite.
  3. TheFifthElement's Avatar
    This is an excellent poem Comedian. I love poems which combine science, poetry, philosophy. There's not enough of that about. It's an interesting, original take on the photograph too. I love these lines:

    Water's like us; we do what we must.
    I don't know about that old picture
    Of those two young women
    Hugging in the FeO(OH), Fe(OH)3
    Behind the future sawdust.

    I think they're just memories.
    And memories, I never trust.
    Especially the 'future sawdust' and 'memories, I never trust.' which is sound advice, so true.

    The use of rhyme on the last line of each stanza is very subtle and effective. There's a lot of internal rhyme too, and alliteration but again it's very subtle, supportive of the structure of the poem. Very nice poetry Comedian.
  4. Virgil's Avatar
    Outstanding! I really enjoyed this. Very oringinal. When I started reading, my first thought was, how does one make a poem about rust interesting? You did it! Thanks.
  5. The Comedian's Avatar
    Hey -- thanks all for the kind words about my poem. I have always enjoyed the combination of science, art, and ideas. Too often, it seems, that they are placed against each other and set into a childish war game.
  6. skib's Avatar
    I don't know how I missed this one! It's a different combination, that's for sure!
  7. Nikhar's Avatar
    I don't really understand poems, maybe because I don't have enough brains.

    But what I did understand, I enjoyed it a lot. It was awesum!
  8. Slavonic Dances's Avatar
    I've read your poetry, it makes me feel good, you are original - yourself. This I often miss when reading poetry.

    Creative and joyful.. bravo.
  9. The Comedian's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Slavonic Dances
    I've read your poetry, it makes me feel good, you are original - yourself. This I often miss when reading poetry.

    Creative and joyful.. bravo.
    Hey thanks. I appreciate the kind comments.