OrphanPip

This time it's not some quickly slapped together poetry.

I'd like to talk about that special kind of awkwardness that sometimes occurs when you're suddenly hit by the sensation that you really wish you were somewhere else. I have no idea if any of you have felt like that before, but there was a time a few years ago that struck me and I haven't been able to forget it since.

I'll start with some background. It was a short period after Pope Jean Paul II's death and a collection of Vatican antiques and artwork was making a global tour. I decided it would be interesting, so I headed out to the Notre Dame Basilica downtown (A swell miniature 19th century Gothic copy of the one in Paris). I don't remember much about the exhibit. There were some interesting medieval letters from Catholic missionaries in China, and I was quite enchanted by some of the outfits on display.

Now the highlight of the collection came at the very end. There was a golden cast of the recently deceased Pope's hand and his smashed ring in a display case nearby. There was a line up to touch the cast of the Pope's hand, and since everybody was doing it, I joined the group. When I was three people back from the front, the awkward feeling started to creep up on me. Apparently, I'm completely oblivious because before then I hadn't noticed that the people around me seemed unusually emotional. In fact, a little Italian lady at the front was openly weeping as she grasped the golden cast of the former Pope. For some reason when I got to the front I was sweating profusely, I wondered if I would feel anything when I laid my hand on Jean Paul's. As an atheist I'm not that comfortable with religious experiences in general. All I could think of was that he had surprisingly manly hands and I felt like a hypocrite standing there surrounded by, what seemed to be, devout Catholics. I remember considering faking a prayer, but couldn't remember the proper way to cross oneself. It seemed to me at the time that everyone was watching me and judging. One of the worse experiences of my life.

So, has anyone else ever been in a situation like this where they just had to get out of there?