Virgil

I'm too lazy or undisciplined to learn the rules for the triad, but your entry makes me wish I had, and if I had done so, that I could write one as seemingly spontaneous and soaringly beautiful as this one.

Bravo!

Thank you Prince. It actually took me several readings to understand the form of this. And even after submission I wasn't sure if I had gotten it right. Thanks again.

I hear that, Virgil. Right after I submitted mine, AuntShecky posted a clarification of how it's done. I was sure she meant me!

But Prince is right-this is one beautiful poem. It is serene and loving of both the one the narrator is with and of the natural world he is in. Well done!

Thank you Qimi.

Yeah I had hard time getting a grasp upon the form and tried to do a google search of it for additional information but couldn't find anything. So I just had to wing it to the best of my understanding, though I did fear my take on the theme "fresh start" might have been a bit obscure, I wanted to do something differnet.

Anyway, I loved the first verse of this poem. though it may just be the nature of the form, reading it feels a touch disjointed to me but it did paint a lovely scene, and the tenderness of the sentiments expressed seep through the words. It is a poem that benifits from multiple readings.

Well don't talk to me about forms... I just loved it. You really capture the essence of the kiss. Thanks Virg.

Thank you D-M and Mary.

It very sweet. A solid poem.

It's a lovely poem Virgil. I love the gentle tone, which is drawn out with clever use of words like 'blessing' and 'gift' and 'acquiescence' (which is an ace word, by the way ). And you created the feeling of freshness both with the image of snow, the shuddering, the wind, the rain,and the kiss, but also with the openness and lightness of the language. I cannot suggest any way in which the poem could be improved.

I've just posted the next form, if you fancy having a go? Always good to read your poetry Virgil. http://www.online-literature.com/for...&postcount=701

Thank you Jersea and Fifth.

You know Fifth, I remember jostling and playing with many of the words in there, but I can't recall how I came upon 'acquiescence'. And as I notice, it's right at the center point of the poem and really in a way is the central core of the poem, both with the sun at one end and the kiss at the other. Not that i thought of that as i wrote it, but I'm seeing it now with a critical eye.

I just noticed your next form. If an idea comes to me, i will participate. I find getting an idea for a poem to be the hardest part.

I liked how the poem had a lot of themes echoing each other under the theme of coming together: disparate natural elements (sun, rain), two people, two lips.

I did feel that the word "acquiescence" seemed out of place with simple vocabulary of the rest of the poem.

The rhythm was great, well paced.

Thanks Comedian. I kind of like the word "acquiescence" in there. Yes, it's got more syllables, but it flows. I don't feel I'm tripping over it as i read the line.

Very pretty Virgil. This brought a smile to my face, and it brought back happy memories. I know very little about the mechanics of poetry, but I love the feelings they evoke:)

Beautiful, Virgil...wow, now we see the romantic side of our Virgil. I really like it. Are you dedicating it to your lovely wife for Valentine's Day?

I guess it depends on whether I forget to get her a present or not. If I do, then she gets it.

Thank you Meg and Janine.

If I were you, to be on the safe side, I would do both!

With your new avatar Janine, I can't help but picture you as this cute baby. Boy is that a cute picture of brook. It's the perfect pose.