day in a life

my second blog today

I just came from the funeral. I was so nervous before I went and scared about meeting my old friends... how stupid can I be. this was a funeral. I wish I hadn't let go of him 5 years ago. listening to the priest talk about him made me want to kick myself for not holding on to him when I had the chance. I was there with my friend and after it was over we just wanted to go home because we both knew that if we would stop to talk with the guys we used to spend most of our time with we would just cry and cry. it was nice to see them even though it was just to look in their eyes happy to see them but sad it was now.

this was a lot harder than I thought it would be. during the service I couldn't stop thinking about the time we were together, both alone and with our friends. we didn't tell anybody that we had started dating except my best friend and one of his closest friends. my ex-boyfriend (a very short relationship) was one of his best friends.

they played radioheads No surprises before the service began and Exit music when we were walking out. it was beautiful.

life is full of surprises and I just wish I could go back and turn right instead of left.

I wonder how my life would be today if I had stayed still and hadn't lost touch with him and my other friends.