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Halls of the Dark Muse

If honesty makes me a Scrooge than so be it!

Rating: 3 votes, 5.00 average.
7 Comments
by
Dark Muse
, 12-22-2009 at 07:24 PM (2549 Views)
This time of year I always end up getting in an argument, or I should say more if a disagreement it isn't really a serious argument, with my mom over the fact that every year she always feels the need to send some kind of gift to my sisters mother-in-law.

It is never any sort of big deal, usually it is just like a plate of cookies or some sort of little nick nack sort of thing, or a gift she got from someone else that she didn't want. It is just a token gift because she feels like some sort of obligation to do it.

And Jane Doe (the mother-in-law) does the same thing, one year she sent this glass brick, that you plugged in and it lit up.

My stance has always been why bother? I do not understand this. Why should people who don't like each other feel the need to buy crappy gifts just out of some weird sense of obligation that they feel? It is completely nonsensical.

In my world the holiday sprit is about, if I like you, than you will get something really cool, and if I don't like, why the hell am I going to pretend to give a damn now?

And yes I know that is not what the holiday is suppose to be about, and the gifts are not what are important, and better to give than to receive and yadda yadda yadda, I am not trying to sound commercialized or materialistic about this, but seriously is it really in the genuine nature of the holiday spirit to send someone whom you do not care for a token gift that is completely unheartfelt (and probably crap on purpose out of spite( just because you feel some societal obligation?

Especially when both sides know the whole thing is a farce? There is no illusions between them. She does not like us, we do not like her. She knows we don't like her, we know she doesn't like us. And it is not as if my brother-in-law would be offended if we didn't send some lame gift to his mother.

It is perfectly legitimate not to like another human being and people are not under any sort of obligation to pretend they like someone if they don't. We don't really all have to "just get along" We don't have even have any physical contact with the woman. Our too families never mix.

To me just owning up to the truth and accepting the fact that you don't like each other, without any sort of pretense is far more genuine and sincere.

But a preference for plain and simple straight-forward honesty makes me the "bad guy"

Updated 12-23-2009 at 07:03 PM by Dark Muse

Categories
The Bad, The Ugly, The Uglier

Comments

  1. Scheherazade's Avatar
    I think these kind of gifts are "tit-for-tat" and I reaaally detest them as well. I cannot help but cringe if someone gets me a gift for Christmas/New Year/birthday because I have got them one in the first place.
  2. Buh4Bee's Avatar
    People do it b/c of the grandkids or potential grandkids. You don't want your own kids to be treated the way she treats you. That could be one reason people deal with the in-laws this way. May not be the reason your sister does it though.

    I get worked up about behavior like this too. I get so mad when I get these kinds of gifts that I have throw stuff out the door into the snow. I have hoped it to lands in a pile of dog crap. But so far I have missed!
  3. Dark Muse's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by jersea
    People do it b/c of the grandkids or potential grandkids. You don't want your own kids to be treated the way she treats you. That could be one reason people deal with the in-laws this way. May not be the reason your sister does it though.
    Haha I think the world would be a better place if future children were raised to just be open and honest about how they feel about certain people instead of going through all these fake pretecnes.

    I look forward to a world where people openly and willingly accept that it is perfectly OK not to like some people, and not to try and hide that dislike or make up for it someway but to fully and completely embrace it.

    Really I would be quite happy, if everyone could just say what they think instead of always being worried about hurting someones feelings or causing offence.

    Lets get rid of the silly B.S.
  4. applepie's Avatar
    I have to agree:lol: My Mom always does things (cookies and such) to give to the neighbors, and they've always done the same. I don't know my neighbors, and I'm sorry to say that they're getting nothing;) I don't have the time to bother with getting things for people I don't really know or don't like. Gosh, I didn't have time to do things for people I like and care for dearly this year with all the craziness.

    It's sad that people don't have a thicker skin when it comes to facing the truth, but it is what it is I suppose. I don't figure the human race is changing any time soon, so I guess we'll deal with them as they are:D
  5. motherhubbard's Avatar
    I've done it. And it usually is some little token of crap or regifted item. It's good to be nice even to people you don't really like and there are some people you have to be nice to. It's not a gift that says here, I like you, but rather a gift that says I can be nice even though I don't like you.
  6. Buh4Bee's Avatar
    I agree too, but such straightforwardness can cause unwanted conflict between adults in a family. Why should my disdain for a relative ruin a possible good relationship between my kid and this person? In the end though, Dark Muse, you are right. There are only a few relationships that I pretend at and I do so for the future of Spore. I just hope the others are able to maintain a level of respect and dignity around my child that they do not draw the witch out of me. I try to keep her locked in the closet.
  7. Dark Muse's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by jersea
    I agree too, but such straightforwardness can cause unwanted conflict between adults in a family. Why should my disdain for a relative ruin a possible good relationship between my kid and this person? In the end though, Dark Muse, you are right. There are only a few relationships that I pretend at and I do so for the future of Spore. I just hope the others are able to maintain a level of respect and dignity around my child that they do not draw the witch out of me. I try to keep her locked in the closet.
    Haha it might sound awuful but everyone in my family secretly hopes that my neices will grow to dislike the mother-in-law.

    And The Antichrist already likes being here more than over there and that has nothing to do with anything we have said or done, but it just is not as fun there. She has more trouble she can get into here and more toys to play with. Her other grandma just is not as interactive as my mom is.