the ocean always dreamed blue dreams

Wow Qimi, that is a beautiful poem. Really. You had me hooked at this part:

Originally Posted by Qimissung

like my friend who has
a hundred friends
like a parcel of random gems,
she is never without one

Stirring and subtly beautiful poetry. Loved it

I enjoyed the over-all poem and found these lines quite striking. Perhaps it's due to the fact that it's very relatable.

but i am not a nomad
in matters of the heart
i live
i love my family
i write, i paint, i think
some days i save the world

A propos the poem, a propos the account you might give of what your breakfast cereal was like, how much more naked - and lovable - can a person be?

If there were someone or some-it I could address my prayers to I'd ask Her/Him/It to bless you, but I suspect they are already doing so!

Evocative of so many things. This stirred up many memories mostly of a ladt named Susie who even over 25 years since I have spoken to her is never far from the mind or heart even though we were never in love. The Long Suffering One deserves better.

What a striking poem! Its tone which is rather blatant is suprising coming for you, but as usual, you master its voice.

For example here, I love the blatant shrug-off of the last line. Too many poets try to describe things in so many words, here it's just clear and yet sad, as if the line itself feels let-down.

and the one she spent three years with
who she thought might be the one,
but two years later he wasn't

I don't know if it was intentional or not, but I loved the youthful voice of the poem which doesn't sound like it's coming from some wise philosopher who knows everything about life, but rather from somebody who is in touch with her feelings and her youth. Usually I hate the overuse of the word 'I' but here it is used to your advantage to fulfill the slightly minimalistic tone of the poem.

My only beef is with the first line of the second to last stanza:

but the hidden truth is that
i'm lillian gish,
floating downstream on an ice floe

I absolutely love the Lillian Gish metaphor and the imagery it provokes, but the first line is not necissary

Well,q -- I've got 3 things to say:
1. Even though you are undoubtedly much younger than yours truly --let's face it, 'most everyone 'round here is!-- I'm gratified to know that I'm not the only one to "get" the Lillian Gish reference. (No, I wasn't around when she first made her movies --
I'm old, but I'm not THAT old!)

2. When I read this yesterday on the
"Subject Poetry Contest" thread, the catalogue of former lovers
reminded me of a prize-winning short story I read once years ago. Sorry I can't remember the author or exact title, but it was in one of the Pushcart Press volumes of "Best Short Stories of the Year." So you see, q, your material and themes are in good company.

and 3. Your poem is good because it really does have a correlation with real life, but even so, your piece reminded me of was the typical Hollywood heroine who always has a "best friend" who seldom gets a guy of her own. These parts were usually played by Celeste Holm, Eve Arden, and Rosalind Russell (until the studios wised up and saw that Roz herself would be a wonderful leading lady.) It occurs to me that there are rougly two kinds o' women in the world -- the leading lady and the wisecrackin' friend. (Guess which category your ole Auntie falls into. )

It is a good poem Qimi, but I have to say I'm a little confused with what you're trying to say about the narrator. First you draw a solid contrast between the friend, despite the narrator glorifying her.

but i am not a nomad
in matters of the heart
i live
i love my family
i write, i paint, i think
some days i save the world

Ok, I get that. But then you say she's like lillian gish floating downstream.

but the hidden truth is that
i'm lillian gish,
floating downstream on an ice floe

Well isn't that the same as nomadic and lost in a storm like her friend? I guess this comes down to how one interprets the metaphor of floating down stream. I interpret floatring down stream as living the same life as her friend, and yet the stanza before that draws a contrast.

and all i really want is for
someone to care enough
to stay with me til i die

And this brings it back to the "i am not a nomad" stanza. Why are you going back in forth?

It's a good poem, great imagery, solid language and good metaphors, but it just doesn't feel clear to me. Perhaps it's me not understanding the floating metaphor.

Thank you, Fifth, for finding it stirring. Music to a writer's ears.

Thank you, toni, for reading it; I'm glad you found it relatable, a very important quality in a written work.

Thank you, Prince. I try, I really do, to be naked and lovable!

I'm glad this served as a fond trip down memory lane, Rich!

Daniel, thank you for your insight, I like what you had to say, and I think I'll make that change.

Virgil, I'm glad you stopped by. I don't think the narrator thinks the "nomad" is lost. She just is who she is, and is glad to be who she is. The narrator, I think, likes her friend's confidence and satisfaction with her life, while at the same time recognizing that she (the narrator) is a very different kind of person. She accepts herself, too, acknowledging her more traditional values.

The Lillian Gish metaphor, and others here may have interpreted it differently which is their right as reader's, is that of someone finding their mate, someone to live out their life with.

In the movie, the main character, Anna, is on an ice floe; she is about to go over the waterfall when she is saved by her man. I really didn't wish to go the "rescued" route, but I like the idea of "til death do us part," and that is what the metaphor is referring to.

I hope that helps.

Maybe the title is unnecessarily confusing but I liked the sound of it.

Ok, that makes sense. I guess one whould have to know the whole movie.

qimi, as always, beautiful
you know I love your poetry
keep me posted when you write a new one

Thank you, Rimbaud. From your mountaintop you see the world so clearly.

AuntShecky, when is the sidekick going to get her own show? When she writes the screenplay and produces it herself!

q! I think I found the story which the
beautifully realistic 2nd, 3rd, and 4th stanzas of your poem reminded me of.
Next time you're in a library, you might want to check out the anthology mentioned here:
http://www.online-literature.com/for...709#post826709

Thank you, AuntShecky, I will.