Nostalgia

simply dreaming of happiness...why wake up?

Work. And so I could write a poem to share with my friends on Litnet!

Nice Skib. I think if you dropped that last stanza it might actually be better. I've never been much for repetition as a conclusion. Kind of nicer to leave off with the image of the girl and the wild flowers.

I thought about that (as hard as I could having just woken up) but that's kind of why I wrote it- the dread of leaving that (those) images behind. To me, if I cut the last stanza, it wouldn't feel finished. Any ideas on how I could finish it? Thank you, as always- I do appreciate your input!

You can project ahead to the job or to getting out of bed or openning the eyelids and having to fache morning. Any of those grab you?

Hmm . . . I will take these all into consideration as I head once more into the world of dreams. I like the opening of the eyelids one, but I don't know how to match the tense without ruining the mood. I guess I have a good twenty minute shower to mull it over. Thank you for the ideas!

I liked this poem skib -- my favorite stanza is this one:

Greeted by the covered windows
Pale walls
Dirty clothes
Unwanted reminders of the day to come

I'm a sucker for simple, detailed description and this stanza has that. It also carries the dreary mood of the poem.

Thank you!

How's that?

Telling the reader the theme with that last line is a let down for me. How's this:

The echoes of yesterday
The yelling, the screaming, the cussing.
Were they dreams
or a record repeating in my brain?

Yeah, I looked at that and didn't like it. I think I might try to leave the whole 'dream' part of it to the readers intuition. You're really on top of things, Virg!

I think its still going the direction I want it to.

Thanks Skib.

And thank you, sir! It turned out quite well.

I think it is a little better. Good one, skib. I never want to wake up; I'd love to live in my dreams all the time.

Thanks qimi!