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Virgil

Your parrot is dead, Senor!!!

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I enjoyed the way the dialogue was put together for this. Better than most jokes one comes across.

At dawn the telephone rings, 'Hello, Senor Rod? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house.'

'Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?'

'Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your parrot, he is dead'

'My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?'

'Si, Senor, that's the one.'

'Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?'

'From eating the rotten meat, Senor Rod.'

'Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?'

'Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse.'

'Dead horse? What dead horse?'

'The thoroughbred, Senor Rod.'

'My prize thoroughbred is dead?'

'Yes Senor Rod, he died from all that work pulling the water cart.'

'Are you insane?? What water cart?'

'The one we used to put out the fire, Senor.'

'Good Lord!! What fire are you talking about, man??'

'The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire.'

'What the hell?? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle?? !!'

'Yes, Senor Rod.'

'But there's electricity at the house! What was the candle for?'

'For the funeral, Senor Rod.'

'WHAT FUNERAL??!!'

'Your wife's, Senor Rod', she showed up very late one night and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new TaylorMade R580 XD golf club.'


SILENCE . . .. . .. . .. . .. LONG SILENCE . . . .. ... . . ..


'Ernesto, if you broke that driver, you're in deep trouble!

Updated 12-16-2009 at 09:16 PM by Virgil

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Comments

  1. Maryd.'s Avatar
    Hey Virg. I'm in fits here. You've made my day. Sooooo farny.
    Updated 12-16-2009 at 09:27 PM by Maryd.
  2. Buh4Bee's Avatar
  3. NickAdams's Avatar
    Wowzers!
  4. The Comedian's Avatar
  5. Virgil's Avatar
    Glad you liked it. For some reason the dialogue remionded me of a creative writing class exercise.
  6. Dark Muse's Avatar
    It made me think of Monty Python, they did a whole skit with a dead parrot
  7. qimissung's Avatar
    Thank you for a very good and much needed laugh! It makes me think of that joke about the cat on the roof.
  8. Virgil's Avatar
    I never saw the parrot skit but i found it on youtube:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npjOSLCR2hE

    Thanks D-M and Qimi.
  9. motherhubbard's Avatar
    I was thinking of Job...until I got to the end.
  10. PrinceMyshkin's Avatar
    Wonderful! Thanks, and since one good golf joke deserves another:

    A doctor had been abandoned on a desert island for years. One day he saw a woman approaching, and as she drew close enough for him to hear her, she asked in a sexy voice:

    “Would you like a drink?"

    “Are you kidding?" he said. "I haven't had one in years!"

    She unbuttoned the top button of her blouse, reached in, pulled out a cocktail shaker and poured him a drink.

    “Would you like a joint?" she asked.

    “Oh boy, would I ever," he said.

    She unbuttoned two more buttons of her blouse, pulled out a joint, lit it and handed it to him. After he’d had a few tokes, she asked again,

    “Would you like to play around?"

    “What!" he said. "Don't tell me you've got golf clubs in there!"
  11. Virgil's Avatar
    Mom-H, definitely not Job.

    Prince, my wife's uncle would tell me that joke every year we got together. I enjoyed.
  12. applepie's Avatar
    :lol::lol: I needed that laugh far too badly. Thank you!