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I'm currently living in a state of political celibacy, and loving each and every minute of my newly-acquired indifference. Due to the unbelievable fact that I'm not a scientist, not a physicist, not even (dare I admit it) a philosopher, (not one studied in the like of any of these and similar professions of intellectual certitude), who am I to question the laws of reason and gravity?

If skyscrapers vanish into dust and forgetfulness, if alleged misfits suddenly become ace pilots and masters of box-cutter warfare, who am I to question it? If a plane explodes off the Long Island coast and what was witnessed as going up was actually coming down, and what was seen going sideways was actually going nowhere but somewhere, who am I to question it?

Having been wandering around between Heaven and Earth on the day of JFK's one-way trip to Dallas, I should know better. That was also a day of wonder and sorcery, when there existed another misfit who performed the incredible feat of not only precision shooting with a cheap Italian-made rifle, but had also mastered the incredible ability to fire "magic bullets" with it as well. Indeed, those were magical days of magic bullets, grassy knolls, now-you-see-it/now-you-don't witnesses and evidence,...and all of those other small spectacles of amazement which are modestly and conveniently brushed-off as coincidence and blamed on the concoctions of radicals and other screwballs.

In those merry old schooldays, what fun it was to "duck-and-cover" during our bi-monthly air raid drills. Being herded down to the school basement: sitting against the wall, heads braced between our knees, as we recited "Hail Marys" and "Our Fathers" for ten minutes. All of us were forever looking for any excuse to break the monotony and get out of the classroom. We found it excitingly diverting but wouldn't have known the Cold War from the Good Humor Man, nor the Gulf of Tonkin from the Hudson River. We were healthy kids and sought, albeit unknowingly and instinctively, to keep it that way. In short, we merely played along with procedure and then went out to play.

I really need to recapture that by-gone time of stable blood pressure and peaceful digestion. My new life as a political celibate may add years to my life, in spite of my continued habit of smoking cigarettes (yes, I admit to that too) and related bad deeds. If President Bush (or President Anyone, for that matter) and Company claims that his brand of Toothpaste-X is superior (maybe with the support of 9 out of 10 dentists) to Toothpaste-Z, who I am to argue with such intellectual enlightenment? When I'm told that the world needs democracy (the price of fuel and the cause of war and everything, as we all know, is because the world lacks democracy), who am I to question this? The powers-that-be in the USA (truly, every nation in the world) have everyone's best interests at heart and in mind ...even if this kills us all. (I think I'll light another cigarette.)