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It was all Brandy's fault. First Brandy knows ALL the secrets--everyone of them including Logos' phone number but female loyalties and an adversion to listening to whining and begging has left that an untapped source.

Next Brandy is a native Ohioan. The significance of this will be apparent shortly. My being a native New Yorker with a Rescue the Fair Maiden complex didn't help either.

But when it gets right down to it--I am the primary culprit. I was the innocent victim of every man's dream for his partner, helpmate, wife, soulmate--whatever. The dream was fulfilled very vividly and all unbeknownst to my fast asleep psyche. I was to be cursed with a wife that LOVES TOO MUCH.

It's true, put those eyebrows down. To know me is to really want to slap me silly but Ruth is a bit hesistant about that sort of thing. But if you ever chance to be on the receiving end of her fiery temper--watch the left fist--very carefully. Or stock up on ham for the eye.

Without further beating around the bush--the setup is thus: Every man would just love it if his true love was to be blunt --more like ourselves. But in a ladylike fashion. The old adage that couples that live with each other become more and more alike until you can't tell the difference has some truth to it.

And I was to be the chargrined recipient of role modeling as practiced by my sly underhanded fox in the Spartan's coat.

Had you asked me even a week ago what might be nice of my wife Ruth to copy or adjust for me several things would have come immediately to mind.

She would desire (of her own free will of course--handy tool when you want your way spiritually--I don't personally believe its power but it's a great excuse to fail at stuff when the Bible is clear if the blinders are shifted a degree or two)-as I said she would desire--no--better yet very PLEASED to buy all of the MARVEL comic titles I collect (emphasis on Avengers) while the light of her world and gift (or cross) provided by God purchases the DC titles and we watch 'our' collection of colored pamphlets grow.

It would further occur to her that buying a DVD set each month of any number of series I'm still missing seasons of would be a wonderful emulation of my organizational of entertainment memories from childhood. I can see Rockford Files season six now on the shelf. I pause for a minute to sigh with joy at such a thoughtful lady giving her all for such a venial selfish man--errr rather beloved one.

Yes imitation is indeed the highest recognition of love and respect one can have for another. Even the Lord Christ says follow him and Paul himself was confident enough that he could plead his own example to follow without a qualm. The only Chritian example I can be copied well is a quick confession I'm an idiot and sinner and deserve a smackdown.

So now let's weave these events together and see the chains of events that made my weekend truly memorable and made a McDonald's clerk smile.

Anyone that knows me at all will tell you that the Cincinatti Bengals play basketball for all I know or care. Turns out it's football.

And Ohio State University has a long and cherished rivalry with Michigan State. Which they celebrate each year by helping keep AAA members from calling to bother me for about three hours on a Saturday once a year. This is theie entire value to my worldview which is kept comfortably close to my vest lest I offend the Ohioans that I am exiled to reside with. Few know or even care anymore that New York has lost their prodigal forever as I have NO desire to go back there to Can You Top This Way of Life society. But I don't feel entirely at home in a natural way here either. Whine whine whine the Countess is getting set to unleash a get to the point virus on my blog so let's move on.

The point is that I was working anyway Saturday scheduled from 2 pm to 10 pm. Brandy was scheduled from 8 am to 4 pm.

Brandy has gone back to the well of dating tow truck drivers. Some cliches have more then a grain of truth to them. I even asked her a week ago when I heard a certain name used three times in two days if she has backslidden to which I was snuffed at and ignored just a tiny bit while she gathered her rationalizations for display ad approval. With my black kettle observing her ebony pot I let it go but started getting ready in my mind in about three weeks for the usual awww sorry it didn't work out or do you think this may be THE ONE speech. I smile anticipating the pontifications to come and the Pharissee chin raises a bit higher.

Anyhow I get a phone call Thursday night from Brandy who spends an embarassing amount of time getting up the nerve to ask if I would work a double shift while she went to a football party. To my credit I agree without tormenting her and my reward is several more minutes of vacilation while she weighs the temptations of party hearty while I endure 14 hours of chills and spills to see it all handed over to my beloved IRS. I see it as a way to get another $100 paid out fairly easily anticipating everyone staying home. The flesh easily conquers the spirit--there is promise that lunch will be provided (which I decline but she insists).

And I feel like Sir Galahad. I ask her to confirm with me Friday and all should go well. I had been off all week driving Ruth crazy using up the last of my vacation days.

Unaware that Friday everything would change and remain the same. And I would have very different views of two of my favorite ladies very soon.

NEXT: The secret sins of Ruth, the betrayal of Tami and Brandy, the love of Sam and a MacDonald's run. Oh yes-a return to the scene of my deathbed.