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Silas Thorne's Journal

Words, with thanks to the old woman who spits.

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by
Silas Thorne
, 11-22-2009 at 10:34 PM (938 Views)
I would bring the death of your Novembers
stalking through markets for tears
to bring forth to you,
empty out your bed of flowers
and mock the song of birdsong by the porch
with a long drawn sigh, after many whiskeys.

And against the calm of dark night
I would spout venom and swear
at TV sitcoms
and slam doors.
Categories
Poetry

Comments

  1. The Comedian's Avatar
    Holy crap Silas -- this is a fun poem of word-play. Your work always reminds me of Dylan Thomas.

    As for critique, I enjoyed the first stanza, but I thought that its author got carried way with his having fun with words, and I got a little lost in the word play.

    The ending line,

    "I would spout venom and swear
    at TV sitcoms
    and slam doors."

    is my personal favorite for its forwardness and abrupt rhythm.
  2. PrinceMyshkin's Avatar
    I love the way this transits from the high diction of the first verse via "whiskeys" into the brusquely vernacular of the 2nd stanza.
  3. Silas Thorne's Avatar
    Thanks for the comments!

    I like Dylan Thomas's poems a lot, but I try not to be too influenced, guess it isn't working.