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applepie

Long Days

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6 Comments
by
applepie
, 06-21-2007 at 02:37 AM (1234 Views)
It has been quite a long day around here. Really a long few days. My family spent the weekend sick. My son, husband, and I all got some stomach bug and my daughter is cutting some more teeth. I have been ready to pull out my hair with all the crying and whining going on around here. Everything has managed to put me behind on school, also, so now I am trying to catch back up from the time spent taking care of everyone. To say the least I have a royal headache and am just feeling mad at the world.

If things couldn't get any more stressful, I get a call from my best friend of 7 or 8 years now telling me how she isn't going to get custody of her daughter back from her mom. As a bit of background, her mom lied to take the little girl in the first place and now she is worried about the fact that taking custody back means putting her mom on the street. She is in serious financial trouble and every time I get the chance to talk to her things just seem to get worse as she has normally quit another job.

I seem to keep feeling guilty over my friend's problems. It is one more burden I don't need, but I can't help but feel if I wasn't on the other side of the country I could help more. It is breaking my heart to watch someone whom I love very much slowly allow their life to fall into ruins around them. She has spent the last 7 years of our friendship taking care of her mom financially and making sure there was a roof over their heads and now she is just doing the same at the cost of her child. I just wish I knew something to do, but she is stubborn like me and no matter what I say she will do it her own way. All I can do is be here to help gather the broken parts when it all falls apart. I just don't know if I can help to mend the damage that she will due to herself by giving her daughter up.

On that venting note, I'm off to bed. Maybe now I can get some sleep instead of coming back out time and again when I am tossing and turning. Goodnight.
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Comments

  1. mtpspur's Avatar
    For a horrible moment I thought you were talkingabout my ex-daughter-in-law until you got to the part about your friend helping her mother. Other way around in my case. My ex's mom took custody or threatened to sue and when son's marriage fell apart turned around and sued for childs support on top of that. The hypocisy of THAT acion is amusing if not so tragic. Said ex daughter remarried and has another child just born last week and manages to duck child support by staying unemployed. Her mom is getting a divorce also and its a soap.

    What I'm leading up to is that I stay well away from this mess. My son got stupid and did not stand up for my grand-son when it conted and he's paying a heavy price and learning a hard life lesson. One I think he needed to learn.
    I have no interest in dealing with litigious thieves and no money for a lawyer anyway. Suggest your friend sue for custody back on financial suppport grounds--my son was between jobs when the move got made.

    Sometimes friends need the house to fall down before they can be helped. Crutches are good when properly used but when it hinders healing then time to throw them away and get a good wheelchair.

    I hope you get rested. You sound a little stretched thin on responsibilities and before you know it the stress will nail you when least expected. May I gently say you owe your friend your love and support but you dod not owe her guilt for her actions--that's enabling not friendship. Submitted with respectand an attempt to encourage and not condemm.
  2. mtpspur's Avatar
    Had originally left a comment then rethought it. So this is attmept number two. I hope you get rested. Child custody is a very tricky thing these days. My son signed his rights away and now he's trying to get his son back from his ex-mother-in-law. Its a mess I try to stay out of. You sound like a very loyal friend but please cut yourself some slack. Sometimes the foundations have to come down before a feiend can be truly helped.
  3. Niamh's Avatar
    you need to give youself a break hon. Stop holding the weight of the world on your shoulders.
  4. kiz_paws's Avatar
    I am at a loss for something cheerful to say, my friend. Your friend is very fortunate to have a kind and caring person like yourself in her life. I guess since the friend will not take your advice, all you really can do is just be there for her, which is what it sounds like you have accepted. Hang in there, dear, maybe let "Calgon Take You Away...." while listening to quiet chamber music, sipping a chilled Strawberry Marguarita.... Cheers, Kizzo
  5. Countess's Avatar
    Bless your heart. You're extremely empathetic and take on other people's problems as your own. I hope you get to feeling better. Hugs from me - C
  6. kathycf's Avatar
    At the risk of seeming trite, you can't live someone's life for them...your friend will have to find her own way, but it seems she has a loyal and loving friend in you which can only be positive. I agree with the cutting yourself some slack....