Barmy Blue's Bland Blog

Okey, this is disturbing. Someone is listening to ABBA behind me, and not their better songs either. Oh well.
Let’s see. The pre-release isn’t so bad actually. Our extract features a guy with a hole in his chest through which you can see the heart and also hold the living, beating heart. Gory but not too bad to read. I raised the question in English as to whether this was actually physically possible. It was concluded that we were sure it was.
The lesson was quite boring, more so than usual because Miller’s not allowed to help us for some reason. But she still sat there in the lesson, watching like she was taking notes in her mind. I hate when they do that.
Jason was in today. He doesn’t come in on Mondays and Tuesdays if he can help it but he has lessons on Wednesdays. We had a brief chat regarding games consoles. It’s nice to chat to decent people sometimes.
I don’t know why but I have a particular fondness for Jaffa Cakes cake bars in my lunch. There’s always been something about Jaffa Cakes (I say this because I’m eating one now).
I think I’ve found a reason. Because they use dark chocolate. I like dark chocolate. I never understand why people say it’s bitter. Mum’s not a great lover of it but dad is so I guess I get it from him. That explains why I was able to eat almost all of mum’s dark chocolate Toblerone one Christmas (Bit of a long story).
A few years ago, seeing as he couldn’t think of anything better, dad did the second worst thing to buying mum clothes (Once he got here a kind of fleecy jacket thing in XXXL. He never did it again.) he bought chocolate. But not a little bit, oh no. He bought three large Toblerones (about the length from my elbow to my hand), one plain, one dark and one white chocolate and he repeated the same process with three chocolate oranges all at once. Mum likes Toblerone but she doesn’t like dark chocolate and finds white chocolate to be sickly in excess. Besides, she just doesn’t seem to have the sweet tooth that I have. In the end I ended up snacking on both the dark and white chocolate Toblerones over the Christmas holiday (otherwise they’d go to waste). Gradually though, bit by bit, even I couldn’t have scoffed a whole one in a day or even two or three, it was spread out throughout the holiday. I found that the white chocolate one seemed to complement the other flavours more but also it had a cute winter scene on the box that I liked.

I guess the other appealing thin about Jaffa Cakes is that tangy orange flavour too. The two combined just seem to suit each other perfectly.
But Jaffa Cakes also do a kind of little Swiss roll but that doesn’t seem quite so good. I’d have to say, when it comes to ranking Jaffa Cakes it’d have to go;
Jaffa Cakes cake bars
Jaffa Cakes
Mini Jaffa Cakes
Jaffa Cake rolls
And I would not recommending trying a different chocolate to bring in more customers because white chocolate Maltesers, no. Just no. They’re okay but they get awfully sickly. White chocolate has to be used very carefully with well known sweets. Dark chocolate’s more versatile because it’s got quite a sharp taste compared to milk chocolate. White chocolate it at the other end of the spectrum and is considerably softer and sweeter.
Also, the different flavoured fillings in Jaffa Cakes. No. Just no. The orange works perfectly but the others. Nope, not so good I tried them and found myself craving the good old Jaffa Cakes and wishing the box would empty quicker.
Besides Jaffa Cakes one of my favourite uses of dark chocolate has to be from that Magnum 7 deadly sins thing they did a few years ago. Revenge. Delicious. It was dark chocolate outside as I recall but inside the ice cream was laced with raspberry (I think). Envy was good too, it was green and I thought it’d be mint. I’m allergic to mint (well, maybe not allergic, but I can’t eat it, I have to spit it back out. once I nearly choked on my own mint flavoured spit after accepting a chewing gum from an old friend of mum’s and not realising it was mint until I’d chewed. I started choking and so spat it right out and dumped it in the nearest bin. As soon as I did so, it subsided and I was alright) but it wasn’t mint at all, it was pistachio. One of the worst was the Lust one. It was okay at first but it soon became boring. It was just a white chocolate Magnum with pink colouring. I can’t remember the others much but I tried them all except for one I think which was mint but I can’t be entirely sure.
You know what else I remember? I’ve only just remembered the name.
Sun lollies. Those little ones that came in the weird shaped kind of packet and you had to freeze them yourself. Those were always good in summer time. I used to have them all the time when I was little.
Good times.

Well, I’ve prattled on long enough I think.

Bluebiird out.